Q-Files 2-26 w/the Hawk...LIVE

[link to www.stevequayle.com]


First things first. A little business to take care of…

To make sure you can hear tonight’s show in its full un-interrupted glory, please use one of the mp3 streams (choose either stream 4 or 6) The other streams have to potential of dropout under heavy usage… And on Thurdays, the streams get their hardest workouts of the week, so be forewarned.


Hello all, and welcome to today’s doom-soaked episode of the Q-Files.


After the mind numbing, potentially suicide-inducing tedium of this week’s Q-Files, I can not even begin to tell you how it thrills me so to inform you, today, Thursday, that man among men, the one, the only, the legendary Hawk joins us live for today’s show. The world rejoices, the angles weep in anticipation of tonight’s show.

Even as you read this tome, the Hawk is putting the finishing touches of what we all hope will be yet another show of epic proportion. Since we last heard from the Hawk, he has been researching and fact checking the latest intel to fall into his waiting hands, hot and fresh from someone’s willing backside.

Hawk is aware that someday, and, according to his sources, some day soon, the internet is going to go down, and when it does it’s going to go down faster than a five dollar hooker on a Friday night. Because of this, Hawk doesn’t use the internet, and needs it even less. He has his own, infallible sources.

When you or I want to get a bit of information, we go to Google, and the world is laid before us like a drunken Prom Queen after the dance. But, there is no Google esoteric enough for the information Hawk has or needs. You can’t just Google “doom” and get the information Hawk has. No my devotees of doom, the Hawk has his own system, and his own intel. For the intel Hawk needs and uses, he has his own library, known as the “Library of Doom”. This library contains those most precious of documents of doom, collected over a lifetime, from countless backsides, some at considerable cost to the owners of said backsides. Every article, every letter, every scrap of paper passed to Hawk over the years, no matter how small, no matter how irrelevant it may seem is deposited into that most valued vault.

The only non-intelligence related items stored in the hermetically sealed clean room are dozens of cases of Lucky Strikes and Wild Turkey. Lovingly stored until the time of Armageddon is upon us, and 7-11 can no longer fulfill his cravings.

It is annexed to his bunker of destiny via a triple air lock. No expense has been spared to insure the safety of the contents of this room. In case of fire, not only is halon gas immediately pumped into the room, the ventilation system reverses itself to quickly suck all of the oxygen from the room, leaving only a vacuum of safety for these most rare and sensitive or secret documents.

Hawk’s library of doom; where he the curator, librarian, and its only customer.

This library, this, repository of all things doom is as spacious as the Hawk’s bunker of destiny is compact and efficient. There has never been any dimensions made public for this library. However, from the reports of the very, very select few who have either seen it, or had a hand in its construction has said it was Hawk’s library of Doom which was the inspiration for the warehouse scene at the end of the first Indiana Jones movie. This bunker is so secure, so exclusive, even Steve Quayle himself has not been permitted access. However, there is a rumor, coming out of the chatter, that our very own Phennommennonn may be getting a personal invitation from the Hawk himself to discuss theories of the coming doom, and to compare backsides.

This library is like no other in the world. This library contains within it, its own eco-system. The climate is controlled within one degree, and one percent humidity. And it’s important to note, these internal meteorological machinations are not maintained by mere computer, no my dear readers, this climatological feat of prestidigitation is maintained by a series of work stations which rival the computational power of the Cray XMT series. And, for added protection against any errant EMP burst which has gotten through the four and a half feet of hardened, low-alpha lead, each work station is encased with an additional six inches of leaded protection.

Not to leave anything to chance, this facility, like the bunker of destiny, is not connected to any commercial power station, or trusted to any back-up generators in case of a power failure. No, the Hawk’s compound is power by a small, self contained, compact nuclear reactor. A gift from one of the many “alphabet agencies” which consult Hawk on a regular basis.

Back from his 37 minute walk from one of the farther reaches of his cavernous compendium of all things doom, to make a list minute check on some recent intel, Hawk sits quietly behind the desk in his bunker of destiny mentally preparing for today’s presentation, contemplating the most effective way to bring his earth shaking information to us, the faithful.

The next real voice you hear will be the Hawk, himself, LIVE. The world trembles in anticipation.