In honor of easter! Offensive jesus jokes! Post em now before the cristers take the thread over!

Why does Jesus need an armed guard?

Why???

Why?

chritianity a religion of love and peace? don't make me laugh! just look at this thread! the only ones who are complaining and hating are christians! they are arrogant, evil, intolerant, bullies, hypocrites, phonies and have double standards. they suck!

No they havent. It was a deliberate provocation and they responded well.

If I was a mod I would pin this thread as an example of how low we as a species have sunk. To make fun of suffering, wether you believe in Jesus or not, suffering that millions in this world are experiencing now by the hands of others, as Jesus did. You dont get much lower than that.

Havent they taught the Law in Wicca?

"deliberate provocation"
fail! it's a joke thread. religious jokes :D you guys are exactly like the guys muslims who killed that danish guy because he made jokes about their "messiah". intolerant.

Technicially,we would be His jokes

yes... that's what's going on here...

and such responses as "stopped whoring" are definitely well intended.


fuck you

and, you're right again!


everyone who makes jokes about jesus is a wiccan

I think Jesus & the Apostles used to clown around, make jokes and made fun of each other. Yes, some of these are disrespectful and mean-spirited, but some are just jokes, (and JC is probably chuckling at some of them, too. Lighten up.)

What did Jesus say when he was up on the cross?
"This was one Hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation"

A Muslim dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter meets him at the gate and says, "Welcome to heaven my son, please enter!"

The Muslim says "Oh no, no, I cannot enter without seeing Allah." St. Peter says, "Oh... Allah. He is upstairs."
The Muslim says, "Well of course, Allah is upstairs!" He climbs upstairs and meets Jesus.

Jesus says "Welcome to heaven my child, please enter!" And the Muslim says "Oh no, no, with all due respect, I cannot enter without seeing Allah."

Jesus says "But of course...Allah is upstairs, top floor."
The Muslim smiles and thinks to himself, "Of course, Allah is on top of heaven itself because He is most high!"

At the final gate he meets the all mighty Lord himself who says "Welcome to heaven my child, please enter."

As expected, the Muslim says he cannot enter without meeting Allah, to which the Lord replies "I understand, my child...Allah is here. But he is busy right now. Why don`t you have a seat and wait for him?"

The Muslim is so excited that his Allah is so important, after all he always believed this was so. The Lord says to the Muslim "Why you must be parched, would you like a drink?"

The Muslim says, "Yes, I would like a drink. I would like that very much."

And the Lord asks, "Would you like a coke ?"

The Muslim says "Yes, that sounds good, thank you."

The Lord says, "It does indeed. I think I`ll join you."

And with that the Lord snapped his fingers and said,

"Allah, bring two cokes!"

Thanks to all who were open minded enough to enjoy the humor!

I just want to say
Thanks for the best thread ever!

Easter's been cancelled.

Why?

They found the body.

Why is Shyla such a worthless cunt?

How do you recognize born again Christians, they become childish, immature and selfish all over again!

Little Billy came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"

His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."

"Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"

"What do you mean?" said Dad.

"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"

anytime!

Yet another loving christian response!

Rofl
That is one of the best so far that has been posted!

Shyla, are you Jewish by race?

did you hear the one about Jesus telling everyone to eat his body and drink his blood at a wine adn bread tasting?
The first step to satanism is canablism!!!

or was the punchline...eh...ugh..canabalism...er satan... blood ritual.... what was it?

Nope

Gay, Bi-sexual, Occultist or Pagan?

the all powerfull daddy of jizzuz watched the murder of his "only sun"...

or he was wathing the other channel.

Bi-sexual but no religion or belief persay
I do research paganism, occultism, and many others.
I haven't found a complete truth in any though but many truths in each, and also lies.
I think most beliefs have good and worthwhile intentions but many are still lacking.
I am open to all beliefs until they seek to control.

no biggie...

My bet was that it was Jewish or sexual orientation. Those two groups exhibit the most hatred I've ever witnessed against Christ. I am a Christian and it really doesn't resonate with me to make fun of other "gods." It sounds like you have an axe to grind. How did Christ or his words wound you?