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How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 68945
United States
04/24/2009 01:45 PM
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How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
I could go on for days about what I've seen. But I'll try to make it as short as possible.

The girl I loved so much broke everything off in early March. I haven't been doing so well since, going through crazy depression and all. Suicide has run through my mind plenty times, but honestly I don't have the balls to pull it off, I love my family and don't want to hurt them, and the thought of everything just being "over" scares me.

Anyway, I figured since I'm so fucked up, why not try some drugs? Tried marijuana for the first time. It was alright. I decided to try some salvia again, though this time I went through the most profound, deep, spiritual experience I ever been through. Now I've smoked salvia in the past, and it's always been fun, though I've always longed to get some meaning out of life by smoking it. I was smoking 15x for some time, and never got really far so my friends and I decided to bump the dosage up to 20x. The increase in intensity was noticed instantly. Every time I smoked it I saw more and more, and I knew that eventually I was going to get somewhere.

The last hit I took transported me through what I would call "the maze of life". I finally reached the end of this maze, and what I found at the end was terrifying. At the end of this maze I found my soul, and in finding this I realized how the world we live in is so fake. It is JUST A GAME. There IS life after death. There are things that our mind/bodies CANNOT comprehend.

When this happened I was given an ultimatum: You must go, or you must stay, Kiko. My heart was pounding; it was dying on me. Somehow I knew that if I chose to go, my heart would have stopped and I would no longer be "here". My life flashed before my eyes, and I was forever changed. I felt like life was irrelevant. However I somehow chose to stay, I guess the fear got to me. Not knowing exactly what's on the other side. I am so afraid of there not being a "me" anymore.

REAL TRUTH is the scariest thing you'll ever experience. Hands down.

I tried to cope with it. There's a reason for everything. Life is something we're supposed to experience. Play the game. I tried to tell myself, logically, there was no reason to go now if I'm going to end up there eventually. It makes sense to me. However after this experience my mind/body/soul are struggling to stay here. My heart hurts all the time, kinda like when I was going through that experience. I feel this pressure in my chest, I feel like my heart has lost the will to go on. My body has this weird pulsating sensation, sort of like a numbness combined with an electrical current. I always feel like I'm "going". I can't focus, I can't eat well. The sight of food makes me sick. If I eat, I puke - straight up bile.

It got really bad last night so I checked myself into a local hospital. They ran all sorts of blood and urine tests. EKG came up just fine. I told the doctors about my experience, and they gave me a list of psychologists to make appointments with. I'm considering hypnotherapy.

In conclusion, I feel like my freakin soul is BROKEN. I feel like doctors will never find anything wrong with me, so I am scared to death about not being able to find a cure. Who best to ask then? You guys? Anyone ever been through something similar? Anyone have any words to make sense of things?

There's so much I have to say, but that's the gist(sp?) of it. Please don't tell me to kill myself guys. I wouldn't wish the same upon you. I know I might have in the past. I'm sorry. It may sound like bullshit, but I've learned to love myself and others. We are all one. You are my brothers and sisters. But I cannot shake this feeling of dying all the time.

Thank you.
KikoKazuma (OP)

User ID: 68945
United States
04/24/2009 01:46 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
Weird, I was logged in when I posted this. Mic check? 1,2 1,2
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 631053
United States
04/24/2009 01:49 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
wow.

Thanks for sharing. A lot to think about here.

I'm sorry you are having to experience this.

However, I'm sure you will have some really thoughtful responses soon. GLP can be down right crazy, but I have found there are people who truly care and want to help.


Peace and light,
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 661084
United States
04/24/2009 01:50 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
Ask God for forgiveness, accept Jesus' atonement for your sins on the cross, trust Him alone to save you, ask Him to send His Holy Spirit to dwell in your heart.

Then get a King James Bible and dig in wholeheartedly.

We ARE being prepared for something more real, more important than this life, but we must face this challenge first.

May God bless you.
ken

User ID: 663598
United Kingdom
04/24/2009 01:53 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
my sister got a cat
i,m hear for frenship but i don,t lick dead cat,s also sigogny weever is my favrite in alein as well
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 631053
United States
04/24/2009 01:53 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
I could go on for days about what I've seen. But I'll try to make it as short as possible.

The girl I loved so much broke everything off in early March. I haven't been doing so well since, going through crazy depression and all. Suicide has run through my mind plenty times, but honestly I don't have the balls to pull it off, I love my family and don't want to hurt them, and the thought of everything just being "over" scares me.

Anyway, I figured since I'm so fucked up, why not try some drugs? Tried marijuana for the first time. It was alright. I decided to try some salvia again, though this time I went through the most profound, deep, spiritual experience I ever been through. Now I've smoked salvia in the past, and it's always been fun, though I've always longed to get some meaning out of life by smoking it. I was smoking 15x for some time, and never got really far so my friends and I decided to bump the dosage up to 20x. The increase in intensity was noticed instantly. Every time I smoked it I saw more and more, and I knew that eventually I was going to get somewhere.

The last hit I took transported me through what I would call "the maze of life". I finally reached the end of this maze, and what I found at the end was terrifying. At the end of this maze I found my soul, and in finding this I realized how the world we live in is so fake. It is JUST A GAME. There IS life after death. There are things that our mind/bodies CANNOT comprehend.

When this happened I was given an ultimatum: You must go, or you must stay, Kiko. My heart was pounding; it was dying on me. Somehow I knew that if I chose to go, my heart would have stopped and I would no longer be "here". My life flashed before my eyes, and I was forever changed. I felt like life was irrelevant. However I somehow chose to stay, I guess the fear got to me. Not knowing exactly what's on the other side. I am so afraid of there not being a "me" anymore.

REAL TRUTH is the scariest thing you'll ever experience. Hands down.

I tried to cope with it. There's a reason for everything. Life is something we're supposed to experience. Play the game. I tried to tell myself, logically, there was no reason to go now if I'm going to end up there eventually. It makes sense to me. However after this experience my mind/body/soul are struggling to stay here. My heart hurts all the time, kinda like when I was going through that experience. I feel this pressure in my chest, I feel like my heart has lost the will to go on. My body has this weird pulsating sensation, sort of like a numbness combined with an electrical current. I always feel like I'm "going". I can't focus, I can't eat well. The sight of food makes me sick. If I eat, I puke - straight up bile.

It got really bad last night so I checked myself into a local hospital. They ran all sorts of blood and urine tests. EKG came up just fine. I told the doctors about my experience, and they gave me a list of psychologists to make appointments with. I'm considering hypnotherapy.

In conclusion, I feel like my freakin soul is BROKEN. I feel like doctors will never find anything wrong with me, so I am scared to death about not being able to find a cure. Who best to ask then? You guys? Anyone ever been through something similar? Anyone have any words to make sense of things?

There's so much I have to say, but that's the gist(sp?) of it. Please don't tell me to kill myself guys. I wouldn't wish the same upon you. I know I might have in the past. I'm sorry. It may sound like bullshit, but I've learned to love myself and others. We are all one. You are my brothers and sisters. But I cannot shake this feeling of dying all the time.

Thank you.




Ya.....well, I don't know if this helps, but I am fucking your ex in the anus right now, she is LOVING IT, and telling me how awesome it is to be with a REAL MAN.....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 663602


Why can't dumb asses like this be banned permanently?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 662133
United States
04/24/2009 01:56 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
I could go on for days about what I've seen. But I'll try to make it as short as possible.

The girl I loved so much broke everything off in early March. I haven't been doing so well since, going through crazy depression and all. Suicide has run through my mind plenty times, but honestly I don't have the balls to pull it off, I love my family and don't want to hurt them, and the thought of everything just being "over" scares me.

Anyway, I figured since I'm so fucked up, why not try some drugs? Tried marijuana for the first time. It was alright. I decided to try some salvia again, though this time I went through the most profound, deep, spiritual experience I ever been through. Now I've smoked salvia in the past, and it's always been fun, though I've always longed to get some meaning out of life by smoking it. I was smoking 15x for some time, and never got really far so my friends and I decided to bump the dosage up to 20x. The increase in intensity was noticed instantly. Every time I smoked it I saw more and more, and I knew that eventually I was going to get somewhere.

The last hit I took transported me through what I would call "the maze of life". I finally reached the end of this maze, and what I found at the end was terrifying. At the end of this maze I found my soul, and in finding this I realized how the world we live in is so fake. It is JUST A GAME. There IS life after death. There are things that our mind/bodies CANNOT comprehend.

When this happened I was given an ultimatum: You must go, or you must stay, Kiko. My heart was pounding; it was dying on me. Somehow I knew that if I chose to go, my heart would have stopped and I would no longer be "here". My life flashed before my eyes, and I was forever changed. I felt like life was irrelevant. However I somehow chose to stay, I guess the fear got to me. Not knowing exactly what's on the other side. I am so afraid of there not being a "me" anymore.

REAL TRUTH is the scariest thing you'll ever experience. Hands down.

I tried to cope with it. There's a reason for everything. Life is something we're supposed to experience. Play the game. I tried to tell myself, logically, there was no reason to go now if I'm going to end up there eventually. It makes sense to me. However after this experience my mind/body/soul are struggling to stay here. My heart hurts all the time, kinda like when I was going through that experience. I feel this pressure in my chest, I feel like my heart has lost the will to go on. My body has this weird pulsating sensation, sort of like a numbness combined with an electrical current. I always feel like I'm "going". I can't focus, I can't eat well. The sight of food makes me sick. If I eat, I puke - straight up bile.

It got really bad last night so I checked myself into a local hospital. They ran all sorts of blood and urine tests. EKG came up just fine. I told the doctors about my experience, and they gave me a list of psychologists to make appointments with. I'm considering hypnotherapy.

In conclusion, I feel like my freakin soul is BROKEN. I feel like doctors will never find anything wrong with me, so I am scared to death about not being able to find a cure. Who best to ask then? You guys? Anyone ever been through something similar? Anyone have any words to make sense of things?

There's so much I have to say, but that's the gist(sp?) of it. Please don't tell me to kill myself guys. I wouldn't wish the same upon you. I know I might have in the past. I'm sorry. It may sound like bullshit, but I've learned to love myself and others. We are all one. You are my brothers and sisters. But I cannot shake this feeling of dying all the time.

Thank you.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 68945


This is known as the dark day of your soul. It is temporary but quite impressionable. Just realize that feeling like you do is also temporary. You will discover as early as next week that you have so much to live for.

But that isn't the answer to your heart quest. You are afraid of dying because you don't know what happens afterwords. My best advice, then, is to live today. The more you focus on dying, the less you live. In essence, you're already dying, every day, but if you are NOT dead, you are ALIVE.

The point is to focus on living, and let the dying take care of itself. Life has its mysteries, and perhaps you've been given a glimpse of the mysteries so that you are compelled to search out new paths. Make a joyful attempt at going down the roads less traveled.

:)
Me114

User ID: 596184
United States
04/24/2009 01:57 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
ask God to help you hear His Voice more clearly while monitoring your thought life and He will help you put yourself back together.

He can do it.

nada
:ura:

Sweet Thoughts!
I Unknown Depths of Love, You.
What Happens Next Loves me.
Help me Jesus, Life will let me know.
Living is Effortless Normal
God Inside, Outside, Everywhere, Forever!
homepage [link to heartdaughter.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 627639
Canada
04/24/2009 02:00 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
You should have stayed on the other side. The only way to fix a broken soul is to escape the prison planet. The system we have created and trapped ourselves within is a spirit killer!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 478606
United States
04/24/2009 02:00 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
Broken hearts suck. Sorry, OP. Takes a while to mend. Maybe you lost a part of yourself in the process. Try a shamanic soul retrieval. Best wishes.
KikoKazuma

User ID: 1459
United States
04/24/2009 02:05 PM
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Ya.....well, I don't know if this helps, but I am fucking your ex in the anus right now, she is LOVING IT, and telling me how awesome it is to be with a REAL MAN.....


Why can't dumb asses like this be banned permanently?



Because fag....this isn't Miss Lonelyhearts site.....read the disclaimer. He set himself up for it....lucky someone else didn't beat me to it, so now lick my unwashed oniony balls.....sniff em.....mmmmm........yum....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 663602



Miss Lonelyheart? Fuck the girl that broke my heart. It's not about her. It's not about depression. It's about what I saw and what I felt that has me feeling the way I do now.

I'm not sure why you feel good about what you're saying to me. I don't think I deserve that. I do understand that in a way it's just me telling myself those things. I do know that what you're saying will come back to you, and you will feel what I feel but worse. In knowing this, I'm sorry for you. But it'll all pass am I right?

Anyway, for those who care, thanks. What happens, happens.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 413608
United States
04/24/2009 02:07 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
Broken hearts suck. Sorry, OP. Takes a while to mend. Maybe you lost a part of yourself in the process. Try a shamanic soul retrieval. Best wishes.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 478606


you are grieving the loss.

this is a long process, go through the fire a strong man.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 629568
United States
04/24/2009 02:07 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
when there is nothing else to beleive in, then you are truly free and doomed.

when all your work, all your scheming, all your education, all your efforts, lies, positioning, attempts, struggles, failures, gains, losses, battles, desires, thoughts,

fail. and mean nothing. Then what?

Doesnt matter if you win or lose? Only if you eat and drink.

Do you need more than food , shelter, water.....

are you walking through your day saying the right things, doing the right things, dressing the right way, only to make too another day??? so you can start the process over?

Do you think its better somewhere else?? Have you ever killed? Is voilence necassary for the human condition? Competition for life on a daily basis? And if you lose, you die. Is that needed for the human soul/condition?

Or would you rather fuck, sleep, drink, eat, ?? Make sure you check all the right boxes. Fill in the requirements and fit in, for that is both your source of power and your downfall.....

What does it mean when nobody cares what you, REALLY , think? DO you even know what you think anymore?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 547657
United States
04/24/2009 02:12 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
It seems to me like it's just the depression that is causing this feeling of "dying".

I'm struggling quite a bit in my life right now too, I understand where you're coming from.

All you have to do know that things WILL get better, that I can promise you. But if you continually think that your life is terrible and will never get better, then it won't.

When things get unbearable in your life, be optimistic and learn something. We all go through adversity in life so that we can grow and change, and this change is what brings us clarity and understanding.

Don't worry, it gets better....
KikoKazuma

User ID: 502295
United States
04/24/2009 02:13 PM
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It seems to me like it's just the depression that is causing this feeling of "dying".

I'm struggling quite a bit in my life right now too, I understand where you're coming from.

All you have to do know that things WILL get better, that I can promise you. But if you continually think that your life is terrible and will never get better, then it won't.

When things get unbearable in your life, be optimistic and learn something. We all go through adversity in life so that we can grow and change, and this change is what brings us clarity and understanding.

Don't worry, it gets better....
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 547657


Thank you. Thank you so much.
KikoKazuma

User ID: 502295
United States
04/24/2009 02:15 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
when there is nothing else to beleive in, then you are truly free and doomed.

when all your work, all your scheming, all your education, all your efforts, lies, positioning, attempts, struggles, failures, gains, losses, battles, desires, thoughts,

fail. and mean nothing. Then what?

Doesnt matter if you win or lose? Only if you eat and drink.

Do you need more than food , shelter, water.....

are you walking through your day saying the right things, doing the right things, dressing the right way, only to make too another day??? so you can start the process over?

Do you think its better somewhere else?? Have you ever killed? Is voilence necassary for the human condition? Competition for life on a daily basis? And if you lose, you die. Is that needed for the human soul/condition?

Or would you rather fuck, sleep, drink, eat, ?? Make sure you check all the right boxes. Fill in the requirements and fit in, for that is both your source of power and your downfall.....

What does it mean when nobody cares what you, REALLY , think? DO you even know what you think anymore?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 629568



You gave me a lot to think about. I'll go through these questions and see what I come up with. Thanks!
Anonymous Coward
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United States
04/24/2009 02:15 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
I went through the same situation with the love of my life( i thought) in march. Are you a scorpio?
KikoKazuma

User ID: 1459
United States
04/24/2009 02:18 PM
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I went through the same situation with the love of my life( i thought) in march. Are you a scorpio?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 631297


Virgo.
noKnothing

User ID: 631297
United States
04/24/2009 02:20 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
All I can tell you is keep your head up. Don't put too much value into this stage of consciousness its just another second in time.
(.__________________________________.)
Anonymous Coward
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Switzerland
04/24/2009 02:21 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
OP, i know what you're speaking of. Read the book 'Kundalini, the evolutionary energy in man' or 'Living with Kundalini", both by Gopi Krishna.

Namaste
KikoKazuma

User ID: 49592
United States
04/24/2009 02:28 PM
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OP, i know what you're speaking of. Read the book 'Kundalini, the evolutionary energy in man' or 'Living with Kundalini", both by Gopi Krishna.

Namaste
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 635679


I'll definitely check those out. Thank you for your suggestion!
Cosmic Trigger

User ID: 663638
Germany
04/24/2009 02:43 PM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
Hi.
First of all, relax, You're good right now. Breathing regularly? Deep breath, then regularly. Dehydrated? By the way, it won't kill you if you don't eat a day or two. Ask yourself, everything ok? Hot, cold? Anything causing discomfort? Fix it, stretch. Remember a little place of feeling safe like this, or as Mr. Miyagi would say, "Sun is warm, Grass is green."

Your soul is not broken. Just broken open. You will be able to understand more and more things, about what's fake, what real. Other things will puzzle you more and more, but that's just life. From what I read you sound quite young and still have some time here to play. This is a profound experience, you are being born, that's painful, of course. You've seen some glimpses, or rather seen it all, in a glipmse. I too chose to stay, a while back in a very similar experience. That was 7 years ago and even though it seems that time has been speeding up since then, becoming more valuable, and so incredibly much has happened since then, I've been so many different persons since then, still it almost seems like today is that day, seven years ago. The journey of our life is both to die and to be born. Everything is always right here, as it was before and will be after this life.
You're everything but alone.
The one thing we all have to go through on our own is, though, our self. We all make that same journey. On our own, together on our own...

I hope anything of what I said made sense, just meant to say hi, and, everything gets beetter, not in a superficial way, but a really, really... real one.

Peace

Last Edited by Cosmic Trigger on 04/24/2009 02:45 PM
wishiknew
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12/17/2012 02:35 AM
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Actually if u find out plz let me know. I had a similar experene but stayed with the person and they have really done a number on me , they have removed and completely shredded any chances of repairing it. They have emotionally abused me to the point that i m holding on by my finger tips and the ONLY reason I m holding on is due to my children. I get a temp. fix by helping others, i do so love that but day by day i can feel myself numbing over so the pain of my broken soul does not take over. I dont have the strength needed to get out of the relationship although i know if i dont there will b nothing left. nothing left for me or my babies. so lost in this pain, and no chance to fix it or mend it just a bit so i can gather the strength to get out ... so i put on a happy face and pretend it is ok but nothing is further from the truth. :'(:1dunno1:
Funney

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Czech Republic
12/17/2012 02:53 AM
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there are no broken souls!
disassociated ego or fading identity, precisely in this case

nothing can ruin your souls my friends, do not worry about this, your confusion comes from missunderstanding of the communion and the lack of communication with it

hf
WindyMind

User ID: 955168
United States
12/17/2012 03:02 AM

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yoga, pilates, running, rock climbing, skiing, biking, volleyball, just get a ball and kick it
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 24353021
United States
12/17/2012 03:10 AM
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Keep your head up Kiko.

Be water my friend...

The_Mhael

User ID: 26665965
United States
12/17/2012 03:15 AM

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Honestly man..

Pick up a king james Bible.

Jesus Christ calls the lost and the Broken.

And he heals them. As he did me.

There is a spiritual war going on all around us.

You need the Sword of the Spirit to combat the enemy.

Last Edited by The_Mhael on 12/17/2012 03:16 AM
servant of christ
-1
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Italy
12/17/2012 03:16 AM
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Op,first get a hug.Second, help someone that needs help, a poor kid or a homeless man.Observe and process and you will know who needs help. You will feel much better. For a while this will help you but in the end it all comes back. Atleast for me, it always did.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
12/17/2012 03:26 AM
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Been there as well. Life gets better in a good way from your disassociation with your ego. I know it's scary right now and you feel as though u have lost yourself. That is the natural progression. You are just "coming down" pretty hard right now. You went astral and that is way up there. The fall back to earth takes a little longer.

I went through this exact thing years ago. It still affects me profoundly to this day. Be good, caring, and truthful to yourself, as well as others. You have started a journey. You are not broken, you are alive. If you felt normal after your experience, then I would be worried.

It takes time. Enjoy the adventure.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 13982175
United States
12/17/2012 03:27 AM
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Re: How do you fix a broken soul? PLEASE READ
Eat right and exercise your lower chakra is closing.

Ground yourself and become strong.
Anonymous Ward
User ID: 30049852
Poland
12/17/2012 03:36 AM
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boss

peace

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