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What Is Real, Unconditional Love???

 
Love Is...
User ID: 672093
Germany
05/05/2009 07:08 AM
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What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
What is Real Love?

Real Love: The Love We’ve All Been Looking For — Unconditional Love

We've heard songs about it, seen it in the movies, heard it talked about on Oprah by relationship experts, and read about it in thousands of self help books. But, what is unconditional love? We all want to feel loved. We think about it, hope for it, fantasize about it, go to great lengths to achieve it, and feel that our lives are incomplete without it. The lack of unconditional love is the cause of most of our anger and confusion. It is no exaggeration to say that our emotional need for unconditional love is just as great as our physical need for air and food.

It is especially unfortunate, then, that most of us have no idea what unconditional love really is, and we prove our ignorance with our horrifying divorce rate, the incidence of alcohol and drug addiction in our country, the violence in our schools, and our overflowing jails.

Our misconceptions of unconditional love began in early childhood, where we saw that when we did all the right things—when we were clean, quiet, obedient and otherwise “good”—people “loved” us. They smiled at us and spoke in gentle tones. But we also saw that when we were “bad,” all those signs of “love” instantly vanished. In short, we were taught by consistent experience that love was conditional, that we had to buy “love” from the people around us with our words and behavior.

So what’s wrong with conditional love? We see it everywhere we look, so what could be wrong with it? Imagine that every time you pay me fifty dollars, I tell you I love you. We could do that all day, but at the end of the day would you feel loved? No, because you’d know that I “loved” you only because you paid me. We simply can’t feel fulfilled by love we pay for. We can feel loved only when it is freely, unconditionally given to us. The instant we do anything at all to win the approval or respect of other people—with what we say, what we do, how we look—we are paying for the attention and affection we receive, and we can’t feel genuinely loved.

A New Definition of Love: Real Love

There’s only one kind of love that can fill us up, make us whole, and give us the happiness we all want: unconditional love or true love. It is unconditional love that we all seek, and somehow we intuitively realize that anything other than that kind of love isn’t really love at all—it’s an imitation of the real thing.

Unconditional love—true love—is so different from the kind of love most of us have known all our lives that it deserves both a name—Real Love—and definition of its own: Real Love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. It’s also Real Love when other people care about our happiness unconditionally. It is not Real Love when other people like us for doing what they want. Under those conditions we’re just paying for love again. We can be certain that we’re receiving Real Love only when we make foolish mistakes, when we fail to do what other people want, and even when we get in their way, but they don’t feel disappointed or irritated at us. That is Real Love (true unconditional love), and that love alone has the power to heal all wounds, bind people together, and create relationships quite beyond our present capacity to imagine.


What we Do Without Real Love: Imitation Love

If we don’t have enough Real Love in our lives, the resulting emptiness is unbearable. We then compulsively try to fill our emptiness with whatever feels good in the moment—money, anger, sex, alcohol, drugs, violence, power, and the conditional approval of others. Anything we use as a substitute for Real Love becomes a form of Imitation Love, and although Imitation Love feels good for a moment, it never lasts and never gives us the feeling of genuine happiness that Real Love provides.
Most people spend their entire lives trying to fill their emptiness with Imitation Love, but all they achieve is an ever-deepening frustration, punctuated by brief moments of superficial satisfaction. All the unhappiness in our lives is due to that lack of Real Love and to the frustration we experience as we desperately and hopelessly try to create happiness from a flawed foundation of Imitation Love. The beauty of Real Love is that it ALWAYS will eliminate our anger, confusion, and pain. So how do we find this universal cure?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 672089
United Kingdom
05/05/2009 07:15 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Love is an illusion. It's all brain chemicals.
Bob Saget
Yeah...yeah and thrice yeah

User ID: 578679
United Kingdom
05/05/2009 07:17 AM

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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Love is an illusion. It's all brain chemicals.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 672089


No it's not
John 3:16 is Right
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 672106
United States
05/05/2009 07:18 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
unconditional love is not real. it's a selfish perverted fantasy, an ideal. people want to be the puppy getting it's belly rubbed and bones tossed at it or something.

the closest thing i can concieve of unconditional love is what some parents have for their child. we want to be someon'e little baby forver. some of us. we some milkbones and some old lady to put a ute little sweater on us.
Eve_4000Bc

User ID: 585449
United States
05/05/2009 07:20 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
What is Real Love?

Real Love: The Love We’ve All Been Looking For — Unconditional Love

 Quoting: Love Is... 672093




All humans have conditions. The only thing that is unconditional when it comes to love is Gods love. He chose us!

Last Edited by Eve_4000Bc on 05/05/2009 07:21 AM
Question authority every time. Ask them how that makes them feel. Ask them why? Ask them when you have an opinion with your opinion and question them with that! There is no being with ALL THE answers accept for God. Even still question. But trust if it's all good and loving then follow with your full heart believing. For the light will always be the light. It makes me a believer.
naughtyearthling

User ID: 672056
Australia
05/05/2009 07:21 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Love is an illusion. It's all brain chemicals.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 672089

laugh ... im thinkin its the wacko tabacco ya smokin actually

drugs are bad mkay!
.. ThE BiTcH iN mE iS A TeAsE .. ThErEfOrE I AiM TwO PlEaSe ..
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 631711
United States
05/05/2009 07:23 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Real unconditional love from my understanding, is when you can find a girl who makes your toes curl. Blowjobs = marriage.
Winningjob

User ID: 385114
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05/05/2009 07:26 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
...is what I got...that's quite a lot!
kwodo
User ID: 656535
United States
05/05/2009 07:33 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
At our awakenings purest for we are unconditional love.
kwodo
User ID: 656535
United States
05/05/2009 07:35 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
purest form ......sorry. We are made in Gods image. That doesnt mean God looks like a human it means we are unconditional love.
AsperGirl
User ID: 670989
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05/05/2009 07:36 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
I believe that true love is unconditional.

How people BEHAVE who feel love is another matter. You have to set limits and enforce them, or leave inappropriate relationships. You have to treat people as if there are limits in the world. People who don't have limits because of love they feel can become dangerous idiots and harm others or themselves.

But the love itself is a separate thing than how people treat each other.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 631711
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05/05/2009 07:37 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Real unconditional love from my understanding, is when you can find a girl who makes your toes curl. Blowjobs = marriage.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 631711


I'm pretty sure I answer the question correctly.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 661844
Australia
05/05/2009 07:40 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
The are always conditions in everything in existence.

There is nothing that is unconditional.

Love comes and it goes.

The conditions were there for it to happen.
It had to have conditions in the first place.

Common sense and logic will tell u that.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 579266
Sweden
05/05/2009 07:49 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
It's like in North Korea; you have to love your leader or else...you go to the plutonium mines!
That's real love! lol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 666169
United States
05/05/2009 08:39 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Unconditional LOVE means that you LOVE someone no matter what they do or say. You just LOVE them for being themselves.
nurse 68
User ID: 668729
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05/05/2009 08:47 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says: 'I need you because I love you.'" -
  --  Erich Fromm

I think this quote best describes true love

I think there is such thing as true love I think there needs to be only one condition for true luv to work the condition to respect each other and yourself

A large percentage of surviving spouses in the elderly die within a year of their partner dying. In a lot of cases the survivor is in reasonable health at the time of their spouses death Isn't this evidence of true love because a lot of times the remaining spouse gives up due to being so lonely without their spouse
luv

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace."
-Jimi Hendrix
Aileana

User ID: 561062
United States
05/05/2009 08:56 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Unconditional LOVE means that you LOVE someone no matter what they do or say. You just LOVE them for being themselves.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 666169


and then you get married chuckle
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 628073
Canada
05/05/2009 09:12 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
So very true. Unconditional love is what everyone seeks but few have.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 310117
United States
05/05/2009 09:13 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Eatin a shit pie , But still holding the love... Unconditional ya'know...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 672184
United Kingdom
05/05/2009 09:13 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Love is an illusion. It's all brain chemicals.


No it's not
 Quoting: Bob Saget


Yes it is.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 643944
United States
05/05/2009 09:24 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Love is an illusion. It's all brain chemicals.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 672089



No - it's a lot more than that. And it does exist.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 661844
Australia
05/05/2009 09:26 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Unconditional LOVE means that you LOVE someone no matter what they do or say. You just LOVE them for being themselves.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 666169
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 672193
United States
05/05/2009 09:27 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Can you really have unconditional love as long as ego exists?

hmm
Ladën x Lou

User ID: 621244
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05/05/2009 09:29 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
I cant say for sure what it is .....but I know its out there......
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
~ Dr. Seuss
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 672105
Australia
05/05/2009 09:30 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Love is an illusion. It's all brain chemicals.


No it's not


Yes it is.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 672184

agreed...when someone can fall in love, or for that matter, to fall out of love...it's all in the brain chemicals.
real love shouldn't be called "love" at all.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 643944
United States
05/05/2009 09:34 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
I believe there are various depths to love.
The initial crazy breathless romantic love being the weakest type - since it's often based on perception void of the facts.
We get 'heady' over someone without really knowing the person.
And begin to see them as our image of perfection.
Until one day when they open their mouth and say or do the 'wrong' thing.
Bye bye perfect image.
That's not unconditional love - that's romantic love.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 671479
United Kingdom
05/05/2009 09:37 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Understanding.

That's it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 671593
United Kingdom
05/05/2009 09:37 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
how many of u failures on here have a fucking job? i demand to know what you are doing to retrain in order to find gainful employment!
Bugeater
User ID: 648022
United States
05/05/2009 09:39 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Read the bible, it spells it out word for word.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 643944
United States
05/05/2009 09:43 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
Unconditional love takes years to develop.
It develops from a bond (friendship, new parenthood) that forms.
It's not glamorous - it's more down to earth and unassuming.
It's the stuff that has you slog through all the mire and the headaches life can throw at you.
But somehow - you emerge together - still devoted - still loving one another - despite the odds.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 643944
United States
05/05/2009 09:44 AM
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Re: What Is Real, Unconditional Love???
how many of u failures on here have a fucking job? i demand to know what you are doing to retrain in order to find gainful employment!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 671593



I work flex hours

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