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dschis Offer Upgrade User ID: 658956 United States 05/09/2009 10:11 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | For all of the Chauvinists out there Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None. It should be opened when she brings it. Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men? A: It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? A: When she starts a sentence with “A man once told me…” Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch? A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven. Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? A: The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in. Q: Why do men die before their wives? A: They want to. Q: When will women will be equal to men? A: When they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. Fact: In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. Fact: I married a Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always. Fact: Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%. It’s called a Wedding Cake. I will assist each individual in their efforts to become a highly motivated, well disciplined, physically and mentally fit soldier, capable of defeating any enemy on today's modern battlefield. I will instill pride in all I train. Pride in self, in the Army, and in Country. I will insist that each soldier meets and maintains the Army standards of military bearing and courtesy, consistent with the highest traditions of the U.S. Army. I will lead by example, never requiring a soldier to attempt any task I would not do myself. But first, last, and always, I am an American Soldier. Sworn to defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, both foreign and domestic. |
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