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To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)

 
Richard Strong
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User ID: 471457
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06/08/2009 03:56 PM
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To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
To the woman that crapped in my car… -

I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle’s lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don’t think anyone wins 100% of the time. That’s why they call it “gambling”. I’m the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better…like when you’re not sitting on a heated leather seat…

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call, Tad

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…


***Got this in an email...don't know the validity of it but funny as hell....
I am Richardus Strongus. Father to a murdered 'Refreshtard' thread, Husband to a deleted Top 10 thread. I will have my vengeance on the Lightworkers ..in this life or the next.
DoomRaider

User ID: 697857
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06/08/2009 03:57 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
rrrrrrrrooooooooooffffffffffflllllllll
xham-sammichx

User ID: 698021
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06/08/2009 03:58 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Fart gambling?? Vegas anyone?

What's the odds on that type of gambling?
Sleestackin' to the max.
GLP - We're all here because we're not all there.
If you seem to disagree with me.. That is okay. You may hang on to your beliefs.. While I kick YOUR FUCKING NIPPLES OFF!
Richard Strong (OP)

User ID: 471457
United States
06/08/2009 04:00 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Fart gambling?? Vegas anyone?

What's the odds on that type of gambling?
 Quoting: xham-sammichx

That's a 'messy' gamble in this case! I've gambled on a few and lost in my day!
I am Richardus Strongus. Father to a murdered 'Refreshtard' thread, Husband to a deleted Top 10 thread. I will have my vengeance on the Lightworkers ..in this life or the next.
Dax

User ID: 695769
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06/08/2009 04:00 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Hahahaha - lol.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 697939
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06/08/2009 04:02 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
LOLOL :D
Wraith1970

User ID: 444477
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06/08/2009 04:02 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Fart gambling?? Vegas anyone?

What's the odds on that type of gambling?

That's a 'messy' gamble in this case! I've gambled on a few and lost in my day!
 Quoting: Richard Strong


Its called a shart.....
bed
Netizen Ribbonmind

User ID: 646022
United States
06/08/2009 04:02 PM

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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
1doh1 did you go out in a motor home?
"The earth is mother of us all, for she is just; but you, because you are unjust have pretended that she is your mother alone; and if you do not stop, I will not permit you to remain upon her."

[link to www.livius.org]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 691948
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06/08/2009 04:02 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Ive never used a Kimmy smily till now ..

Oh Shit
xham-sammichx

User ID: 698021
United States
06/08/2009 04:03 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Fart gambling?? Vegas anyone?

What's the odds on that type of gambling?

That's a 'messy' gamble in this case! I've gambled on a few and lost in my day!
 Quoting: Richard Strong



I lost once.. back in grade school.. I no longer 'gamble' with that business.
Sleestackin' to the max.
GLP - We're all here because we're not all there.
If you seem to disagree with me.. That is okay. You may hang on to your beliefs.. While I kick YOUR FUCKING NIPPLES OFF!
Richard Strong (OP)

User ID: 471457
United States
06/08/2009 04:05 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Fart gambling?? Vegas anyone?

What's the odds on that type of gambling?

That's a 'messy' gamble in this case! I've gambled on a few and lost in my day!



I lost once.. back in grade school.. I no longer 'gamble' with that business.
 Quoting: xham-sammichx

Especially when free-ballin in sweat pants! It ain't a purty scene!
I am Richardus Strongus. Father to a murdered 'Refreshtard' thread, Husband to a deleted Top 10 thread. I will have my vengeance on the Lightworkers ..in this life or the next.
Richard Strong (OP)

User ID: 471457
United States
06/08/2009 04:05 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Fart gambling?? Vegas anyone?

What's the odds on that type of gambling?

That's a 'messy' gamble in this case! I've gambled on a few and lost in my day!


Its called a shart.....
 Quoting: Wraith1970

Shart-tard??? lol
I am Richardus Strongus. Father to a murdered 'Refreshtard' thread, Husband to a deleted Top 10 thread. I will have my vengeance on the Lightworkers ..in this life or the next.
Emperor Gumblejack

User ID: 696913
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06/08/2009 04:05 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
ROFLMAOMGZOMGBBQOAPIMPWNED!!!!1111
I used to be paranoid.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 692844
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06/08/2009 04:07 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
I usually give myself 4 to 1 odds that I'll have a safe fart....

Them's good odds.
Richard Strong (OP)

User ID: 471457
United States
06/08/2009 04:09 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
I usually give myself 4 to 1 odds that I'll have a safe fart....

Them's good odds.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 692844

Any less odds and you may want to seek the help of Depends
I am Richardus Strongus. Father to a murdered 'Refreshtard' thread, Husband to a deleted Top 10 thread. I will have my vengeance on the Lightworkers ..in this life or the next.
bed
Netizen Ribbonmind

User ID: 646022
United States
06/08/2009 04:10 PM

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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Shamplug
"The earth is mother of us all, for she is just; but you, because you are unjust have pretended that she is your mother alone; and if you do not stop, I will not permit you to remain upon her."

[link to www.livius.org]
Richard Strong (OP)

User ID: 471457
United States
06/08/2009 04:12 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Shamplug
 Quoting: bed

tounge
I am Richardus Strongus. Father to a murdered 'Refreshtard' thread, Husband to a deleted Top 10 thread. I will have my vengeance on the Lightworkers ..in this life or the next.
Wraith1970

User ID: 444477
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06/08/2009 04:12 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Its called a shart.....


I am now firmly convinced that there has to be a name for everything.
 Quoting: DrPostman

Yes there is an answer for everything...we may not like what it is sometimes, but nevertheless it is the case.
Aileana

User ID: 561062
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06/08/2009 04:12 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
.
Richard Strong (OP)

User ID: 471457
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06/08/2009 04:14 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Any lactose intolerant GLP chicks like to elaborate on any sharts??? We won't make fun of ya...promise! hiding
I am Richardus Strongus. Father to a murdered 'Refreshtard' thread, Husband to a deleted Top 10 thread. I will have my vengeance on the Lightworkers ..in this life or the next.
Wraith1970

User ID: 444477
United States
06/08/2009 04:30 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
.
 Quoting: Aileana

Aileana just had her period!!!
Tessa

User ID: 383010
United States
06/08/2009 04:32 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
ROTFL

laugh

omg laugh
"Whether this song is about sex, drugs, or Ramen Noodles, it's moving. And you can bet your ass that you can fuck to it."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 691948
United States
06/08/2009 04:37 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Cajun Tots and Terminator Stout
Sounds Explosive
Tessa

User ID: 383010
United States
06/08/2009 04:38 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Cajun Tots and Terminator Stout
Sounds Explosive
 Quoting: RememberThis

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OMG you guys have to stop laugh
"Whether this song is about sex, drugs, or Ramen Noodles, it's moving. And you can bet your ass that you can fuck to it."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 686471
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06/08/2009 04:42 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Test Fart!

_Storm_

User ID: 362931
United States
06/08/2009 04:45 PM

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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Crapshoot.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 698054
Sweden
06/08/2009 04:47 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Doesn't beat this imo:

[link to www.craigslist.org]
Aileana NLI
User ID: 561062
United States
06/08/2009 04:48 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
.

Aileana just had her period!!!
 Quoting: Wraith1970


i tried so hard to find something witty to say but couldn't stop laughing long enough laugh
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 691948
United States
06/08/2009 04:49 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Cajun Tots and Terminator Stout
Sounds Explosive

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OMG you guys have to stop laugh
 Quoting: Tessa

ahahahahaha
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 691948
United States
06/08/2009 04:52 PM
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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
Doesn't beat this imo:

[link to www.craigslist.org]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 698054

Another Olestra Victim slides into home plate chuckle
_Storm_

User ID: 362931
United States
06/08/2009 04:53 PM

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Re: To the woman who pooped in my car (Best Craigs List Ad ever)
WTF?

[link to www.craigslist.org]