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GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!

 
JUST HOLD ME
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User ID: 615779
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06/17/2009 12:33 AM
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GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
And he never ages!!!



Hold me! hiding

Last Edited by JUST HOLD ME on 06/17/2009 12:33 AM
HOLD ME TILL THE PAIN GOES AWAY!!!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Anonymous Coward
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06/17/2009 12:34 AM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
LOL I remember when he was all about the Y2K!!

His wife (ana)Rexella is pretty scary too!
Anonymous Coward
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06/17/2009 12:52 AM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
LOL I remember when he was all about the Y2K!!

His wife (ana)Rexella is pretty scary too!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 700724

Heh, yeah, gotta preach it to sell it !!
Unkka Karbunkka
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06/17/2009 01:19 AM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
I love it when Jack inserts bible references into a normal sentence:

Like this:

"So I was mowing my lawn the other day, ROMANS 3:17, when I looked up, PAUL 2:39, and saw a robin, LEVITICUS 3:13, in a tree. Now a tree is just a tree, THANATOGENESS 5:23, but the tree of life comes from the bible."

Then you sit back, sip some Jim Beam and go:
"Wow, I may not be rich, but my life ain't NEAR as F*CKED UP as 'ol Rexella's must be..."

Jack probably has a biblical reason for a 'shocker' during sex!
Anonymous Coward
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06/17/2009 01:37 AM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
When your life is a lie like most of these people, it has to be fucked up.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 655274
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06/17/2009 01:45 AM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
Him and Rexela smoke crack before each show.Make sure you buy there new dvd each month.
JUST HOLD ME (OP)

User ID: 615779
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06/18/2009 10:54 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
bump for Rexella is still HOT!

Last Edited by JUST HOLD ME on 06/18/2009 10:55 PM
HOLD ME TILL THE PAIN GOES AWAY!!!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Anonymous Coward
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06/18/2009 10:57 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
11 July 2009 to 21/22 Dec 2012, is 1260 days, the number in Revelation.
damned
SoulDarkness

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06/18/2009 11:04 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
We can all feel safe absolutely nothing will happen I'm sure of it. And for saying Rexella is hot I'm going to kick you in the assneck for getting that fugly biotches face stuck in my mind.
Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.
Anonymous Coward
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06/18/2009 11:06 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
We can all feel safe absolutely nothing will happen I'm sure of it. And for saying Rexella is hot I'm going to kick you in the assneck for getting that fugly biotches face stuck in my mind.
 Quoting: SoulDarkness

bumpFor assneck kicking!! 5a
Cindy1
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10/11/2009 06:16 AM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
I do believe that as we know life will change! I don't believe we can forcast the exact date. I am rather educated on this fact.

Haven't been on this site for probably two years and hate the changes you made! I feel you are turning so many people off with your bible preaching and not showing the facts as in the past.
I only heard a sermon from a married couple and what they believed, last time I was on this site it had documents from past experts in the fields of global warming, parmids, talking about how the axis would wouble and turn the world into a turmoil, and how we are feeling the changes now with the natural disasters, climate changes, diseases, great pictures from the past.

This update was boring and I suggest you go back and get parts from the History channel! I have viewed and is wonderful, up to date and had all the evidence which you didn't show.

Most people don't know the bible verse by verse like you do and it turns them off, you will get more from us from visual affects. My personal point of view as I suggested this site to a friend and just viewed it and was soooo disappointed and bored. I stopped watching it half way thru thinking it I would see natural past disasters and more visual things then just a Sunday Sermon. It would take me hrs. to look at and feel you need to shorten your sermon.

I will look for another site much more credible then yours which I can learn from and keep my attention.
yeahsure yeahsure
Anonymous Coward
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10/11/2009 07:26 AM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
Who knew doom was so profitable?



drama
dynamite
abomb
anonymous
User ID: 791135
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10/11/2009 10:43 AM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
2012 is the newest "omg date" with some preachers. it sells new materials .
TandT
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10/11/2009 10:46 AM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
My folks took me to one of his seminars in 1975. He said world would end summer of 76. I have never believed this false prophet since.
anonymous
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10/11/2009 10:56 AM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
2012 is the newest "omg date" with some preachers. it sells new materials .
 Quoting: anonymous 791135

The late Great Planet Earth scared alot people too..It made millions for the Author ... People were freaking over the Euro said it was the mark of the Beast........... Then Reagan got Elected and his name had 666 in it they said he was The Anti Christ.. look speculation will alway go on..folks in WW l thought it was Armaagadon.. well Europe was wreck with War Famine Pestilence plague from WW l then spanish flu hit europe it is like our new Swin flu now .many died or were sickened .. ...... . then WW ll came and Hitler was thought to be Anti Christ ...WW ll ...same destruction again in Europe. so only God knows ..
Anonymous Coward
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10/11/2009 11:36 AM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
Jack has stated more than once that he has memorized thousands of Scriptures. Seems he forgot that Jesus told his disciples that NO MAN knows the day nor the hour the world will end, not even the angels in heaven.

Huh. Did you know that he was called to the White House during the Bush presidency? Is he thought to be some sort of oracle?

Oracle: a person (as a priestess of ancient Greece) through whom a deity is believed to speak.
.
Anonymous Coward
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10/11/2009 11:38 AM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
They shop at K-mart.... I saw them, started laughing my ass off, she looks better on T.V. !
susan
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07/21/2010 04:07 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
As for the exact date, no man knows the hour nor the day except the father. So when ever you hear about a date being given then you must know it is a false prophet. I do not care who it is.
Anonymous Coward
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07/21/2010 04:08 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
The heat wave is going to kill you all. Get a life.
..
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07/21/2010 04:15 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
bump for Rexella is still HOT!
 Quoting: JUST HOLD ME



Yeah She's does..

Got it go'n on..



..
Anonymous Coward
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07/21/2010 04:16 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
LOL I remember when he was all about the Y2K!!

His wife (ana)Rexella is pretty scary too!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 700724




lmfao !!!!!
Scott
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07/21/2010 04:19 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
And he never ages!!!



Hold me! hiding
 Quoting: JUST HOLD ME


If Jack Van Limp-Dick says it's true it MUST be true!
the other tree hugger

User ID: 1041396
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07/21/2010 04:21 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
I do believe that as we know life will change! I don't believe we can forcast the exact date. I am rather educated on this fact.

Haven't been on this site for probably two years and hate the changes you made! I feel you are turning so many people off with your bible preaching and not showing the facts as in the past.
I only heard a sermon from a married couple and what they believed, last time I was on this site it had documents from past experts in the fields of global warming, parmids, talking about how the axis would wouble and turn the world into a turmoil, and how we are feeling the changes now with the natural disasters, climate changes, diseases, great pictures from the past.

This update was boring and I suggest you go back and get parts from the History channel! I have viewed and is wonderful, up to date and had all the evidence which you didn't show.

Most people don't know the bible verse by verse like you do and it turns them off, you will get more from us from visual affects. My personal point of view as I suggested this site to a friend and just viewed it and was soooo disappointed and bored. I stopped watching it half way thru thinking it I would see natural past disasters and more visual things then just a Sunday Sermon. It would take me hrs. to look at and feel you need to shorten your sermon.

I will look for another site much more credible then yours which I can learn from and keep my attention.
yeahsure yeahsure
 Quoting: Cindy1 791473




+100 this is where i get my imfo ~~ well one of them !!

hf
[link to www.adishakti.org]
im just waiting for 12-21-1012
Anonymous Coward
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07/22/2010 12:43 AM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
Does anyone remember five or six years ago when Rexella started to show her age rather badly? Suddenly she was "off the show" for a few weeks and came back on camera with a new face and (notice this the close-ups) brand new hands!) Her original face (although it may have been revision I of the original) started to droop. Her brow was falling, her eyelids were getting heavy and the nasalabial folds were growing heavier with each broadcast. They were smearing Vaseline on the camera lens with a hand so heavy that it was reminiscent of Lucille Ball in the movie version of Mame which she filmed in her mid-sixties! Back then, Miss Ball was so "soft focused" that everything else in the room became indistinguishable from the walls or floor! The make-up people and crew had a mandate to make Miss Ball look somewhere between 34 and 55 and not one day older than either, depending on the scenes.

This is the kind of thing they attempted with Rexella for brief time. Sadly she and Jack do not have Lucy's talent nor her money to pay for the best photographers, lighting experts, and make-up people in the business. Needless to say Rexella was looking pretty long in the tooth. Even her hair was getting thin! (I'm serious - look at the old videos if you can find them online!)

Anyway after her three for four week hiatus doing some sort of "good work" somewhere in the world, she came back with this near miraculous resurection having been worked on her! The most amazing thing was not the face and neck and eyes (we've all seen good facelifts thanks to Hollywood - and believe me, Ms. Van Impe did not scrimp on her surgeon or go to a bargain basement center! She had the best. And the results were excellent. But I was only vaguely aware that hands could be rejuvenated, too. Her hands were almost skinny, and somewhat witch-like to begin with. She had age spots that make-up would not cover on camera, and her nails (although perfectly groomed with light pink polish on them) somehow looked more like claws because of the boniness of the hands. Thanks to some fat injections, a phenol peel to resurface the skin, and the removal of a little elipis of skin at the wrists, her hands are plump, smooth, and young again - and she must be touching it up as she does her face from time to time, because the hands are still the same after these last five or six years. Rexella is in her very late 60's and quite possibly in her 70's. Jack is a few years older. Look at her! You'd never guess that was the case if you didn't know!

I guess good Christian women have NOTHING whatsoever against a facelift that costs as much as many people make in a year. (Rumor has it hers was about 44 thousand including the hands.) But then after all, they can afford it. I wish he'd do something about his hang-dog look. He's beginning to look like her father rather than her hubby!
hell!!
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07/22/2010 01:01 AM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
Lets see..Only the father knows the time.

Well...Jack comes from troy mich..ya..the home of k-marts home office.

vanity?? must be nice to get paid for preaching.

to bad one commandment says..do not make for yourselves graven images..or worship them..

look at our money...dead presidents. ya..paycheck..or cash?

if u see a 5 dollar bill on the ground..would u bend over to pick it up?

see..we do what we half to survive...money makes the world..what?

as faras jack goes..ya hes got alot memorized.

check out digitalangel.com..6 billion chips ready..too bad the human body rejects the chip..unless its placed in the forehead..or the right HAND.

the same chip as in the beasts..uurr,,i mean pets..and military, alzimers..etc..etc..soon heathcare..then banking records..oh ya..here comes DOOM!!
bull777
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11/18/2010 09:28 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
I know you all don't know me but I just want to say don't buy in to this 2012 stuff, the bible says no man knows when the end of the world will be, the angels in heaven don't even know. I have heard Jack talk on tv and he has said the end of the world would be in 2000, then he said 2002, then he said 2004 so I think he is a false prophet and anybody that beleives otherwise needs to research.
Anonymous Coward
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11/18/2010 09:31 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
bump for Rexella is still HOT!
 Quoting: JUST HOLD ME

I was waiting for some jape to mention Rexella being "hot".
Good Lord.
Anonymous Coward
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11/20/2010 09:21 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
I'd like to see Rexella and Jack go through the airport porno-scanner or get groped by the TSA.
The expressions on their faces would be priceless, especially Rexella.
Oh, Oh, Jack....what's happening????
And no Jack, you can't cover your genitals with a fig leaf or the Bible.
Anonymous Coward
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01/24/2011 02:54 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
Rexella is a surgical whore. She's had more plastic surgery than Dolly Parton has! And heaven knows Parton looks a hell of a lot better than old Rexcella does.

This Rexcella is one scary bitch. She's ancient, too!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 642285
Anonymous Coward
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01/24/2011 03:13 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
bump for Rexella is still HOT!
 Quoting: JUST HOLD ME

Rexella is a Reptilian
Anonymous Coward
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01/24/2011 03:18 PM
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Re: GET READY DECEMBER 21 2012! JACK VAN IMPE SAYS SO!
"So I was mowing my lawn the other day, ROMANS 3:17, when I looked up, PAUL 2:39, and saw a robin, LEVITICUS 3:13, in a tree. Now a tree is just a tree, THANATOGENESS 5:23, but the tree of life comes from the bible."

 Quoting: Unkka Karbunkka 567074

lmao

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