Q-Files 6-26, Farewell, John Galt?

[link to www.stevequayle.com]


To make sure you are able to experience tonight’s doom-cast in its full un-interrupted glory, please use one of the mp3 streams (choose either stream 4, 6 or 9) The other streams have to potential of dropout under heavy usage…


Good evening all, and welcome to the Friday episode of the Q-Files.

With this being the last Friday before the Q-Files slips slowly into that long, quiet night, (at least for a while, anyway) this would make tonight, in theory anyway, John Galt's last show. Please, please, control your celebratory cheers and applause until the end of the intro; there's still more to come.

I have racked my brain to come up with just the right intro to say good-riddance...errr....good-bye to Mr. Galt, but nothing jumped to mind. After all, how does one try and write something interesting about someone who's little more than an obnoxious shade of gray? I mean I can write something more interesting about the pelican shit on Mr. Galt's double-wide than I can about its resident. For one thing, at least you wash the crap off the double-wide; If you tried that with Mr. Galt, there's only be enough of him left to bury in a shoe box AND, you'd still have room for his ethics and morals, which is saying something since we're just talking about a size 7 shoe here.

So, stumped as I was, I decided to take the advice of the founder of the Q-Files himself, Steve "the bottom line is" Quayle; I took it to the Lord in prayer. I laid my head down among the 7 pillows here in the hotel, and asked the Lord for some answers, hoping he could point me in some direction.

To my absolute surprise, the Lord DID appear to me to answer my question, and more.(note to self, find out who makes pillows for the Hilton, and buy a bunch of them)

When I asked the Lord why Mr. Galt is the way he is, he told me, Mr. Galt was one of his "special" people. On further inquiry, I was told Mr. Galt is a part of what the Lord calls the "Reference Standard Series".
I went on to ask what exactly that was, and instead of explaining it to me, he gave me some examples.

He started off with Edward R. Murrow. The Lord said Mr. Murrow was the standard of which every journalist will be measured against. He then said Mark Spitz was, and Michael Phelps now is the standard all swimmers will be measured against.For years to come, Muhammad Ali is the one every boxer will always be compared to, just as Tiger Woods in golf. I nodded my head in understanding, but I still didn't see where the Friday host of the Q-Files fit in. I would have asked, but I've learned not to interrupt the Lord when he's rolling. The last time someone interrupted the Lord mid-thought, the Giraffe was created. It could wait.

As the Lord continued, with an end in sight, he said something which I would have never expected; he said For that matter, I could have been a part of the reference series. I was stunned, until I remembered God has a sense of humor. When I finally found my voice I asked, "Me? How?" With a soft, almost parental smile he replied "Let's just say when the time came to make your life's choice, you took the road less traveled, and leave it at that. We can talk about it some other time." With just a touch of resentment, I said "you know, you could have said something at the time". To which he replied, "Not my job. Your life, your choice. Besides, you never asked". Smug bastard.

Before I could come up with a retort that would have surely placed me in Hell in a heartbeat, the Lord asked if I wanted to hear about someone else who qualified as a standard before he got to Mr. Galt. "Without thinking, I said, sure, it's your show" to which came the instant reply, "Yeah....be a good idea for you not to forget that." He then continued, and said it was someone I listen to on the Files. When I asked if it was the Hawk, the Lord chuckled and said "I could see how you'd think that, but no, Hawk is merely one of my servants, and a very good one at that. He has the ability to do what he's told without fail or question".

I said "If it's not Hawk, it's....No, come on! It can't be!" in a combination of shock and horror. "Not Steve Quayle?!? "Oh Yes" the Lord said "...Steve Quayle ... He is the reference standard for condescending narcissistic arrogance, who uses the exploits of my kid, and twists the meanings of what he did while he was among you, to sell his brand of fear, hate and his own personal agenda". I had to ask, "What IS his personal agenda?" He said resentfully, anyway, I've never quite figured it out. "it's just what you think it is. Making money for himself from those who can afford it least by filling their heads with fear and destruction." "The good news is," the Lord continued "people are finally starting to catch on. Why do you think his Crucifixion Bridge website is failing? People aren't going to donate to anyone who constantly berates them, and demands they bow before him pay him alms...Christ!...What?..Oh, no... not you son...I mean come on, even I don't do that!"

As that bit of news slowly dissolved into my brain, I wasn't sure if I could take much more, so I finally asked the question which brought me to the Lord in the first place. "Lord", I said, I understand the concept of having someone as a standard to which everyone is measured against. But, I have to tell you, I don't see what John Galt could possibly have to make him worthy of being a standard bearer." "That's because," the Lord said, you haven't spend enough time thinking it through". "True," I nodded "Which is what brought me to you in the first place tonight".

With a look of consternation on his face, the Lord thought for a moment, then said "John Galt is the reference standard for, how can I say this delicately?...He's the reference standard for misogynistic, white trash assholes everywhere...oh, and he's so dreadfully pompous and boring too, which makes it all even worse, so...yeah, I think that pretty much sums him up, don't you?" Through my laughter I said I think he pretty much nailed if. I then asked "So, when the time comes, are you going to have a talk with him about the banana stuff and what he's been saying?" "Me?" he said questioningly "Why would I be talking to him?" "Well" I said, "I thought he might be...." Before I could finish my thought, the Lord broke into laughter which shook the heavens, and tears ran down his face.(probably causing a tsunami somewhere...sorry about that) "You thought" he said between laughter ravaged breaths, "You though he was coming HERE?" He started laughing again, even harder. "Now THAT'S the funniest thing I've heard since someone invented the stories about Long walkers and TR3Bs......Oh, that's rich!....No, he won't be coming here. In fact, from what I've heard from Lew..." " Sorry" I interrupted, "who?" "You know, Lucifer? What? You don't think we talk? Anyway, Lew doesn't want him either. Personally I think it's a little late to have requirements for getting into Hell, but in this case, I see his point. We both feel that way about Quayle too, though...We're going to have to do something about those two at some point", he said to himself, distractedly.

He then looked down at me and asked "Well, that answer your question?" I looked up and said, "Yeah pretty much, thanks", to which He asked "while you're here, I'm feeling generous...so, anything else you want to ask?" "Sure, why not...one more". "Shoot" he said. "Okay, here goes....Is the Q-Files really going away, or will it be back in a month or so, like it usually does?" More laughter. "Art, you kill me sometimes, you really do. Of all the things you could have asked; you know "Why am I here"..."Meaning of life"...anything, you come up with that? I might have to keep you around as a jester! What do you think, Want a job in the afterlife?" Terrified, I said "I'm not going have to start tonight am I? " Even more laughter "See what I mean!" he roared..."No, not tonight, the guest rooms are full at the moment, with my two newest residents moving in today, but don't worry, I'll put you on the list for a nice place with a view." Relaxing, I mumbled, "cool, thanks". He nodded. "So, is this the end of the files, or not?" As the laughter left his face, the Lord said "Does it really matter? It's not as if he's been breaking any new ground the past few years, or that people believe him any more, or even that he's even trying to spread the word of my son beyond how it helps him personally. But, to answer your question, Who knows, and who cares?" Now smiling, I said, "good answer".

There was more laughter, and with a bright flash of light, I found myself back in bed. I went back to sleep with the inspiration for Mr. Galt's into tucked safely in the back of my mind.

So, see ya' 'round John.

I'd say it had been fun, but even I can't lie that well. Well, I can, but I'm on the list for a decent place and all, and I really don't want to screw that up. And I certainly don't want to screw it up because of you.