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Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 730233
Australia
07/20/2009 12:34 PM
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Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
Who's Your Daddy?

The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'Father's Details,' or putting it another way.... Who's your Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check out #11, it takes 1st prize and #3 is runner up.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks...

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me.

8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you axe him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time..... Well, I don't have clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World. Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.
Anonymous Coward
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07/20/2009 08:04 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
This is racist.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 721883
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07/20/2009 08:06 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
How is it racist? These are actual answers given.
Anonymous Coward
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07/20/2009 08:07 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
How is it racist? These are actual answers given.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 721883


Giving it a sarcastic bump
Anonymous Coward
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07/20/2009 08:07 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
let me guess, you got this in an email forward, and no actual source was given.
Huh ?
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07/20/2009 08:08 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
I think # 2 takes the cake !!!


*
Anonymous Cow Art
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07/20/2009 08:08 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
Lol at nr.5

lmao
picesnator

User ID: 639746
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07/20/2009 08:15 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
u can't fix stupid........
Anonymous Coward
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07/20/2009 08:15 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
This is racist.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 711980



Racist?!

Oh, wait.... Maybe number 8 laugh
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 642285
United States
07/20/2009 08:21 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
How is it racist? Given the names and spelling, etc., it doesn't sound like prose written by even a lower-class white. But I could be wrong. The boarders of who uses which type of slang are certainly blurring by the second. And more and more lower class white teenagers and pre-teens are now aping the linguistic uttering of the lower class blacks.

However, I do have a favorite in the replies received below: That would be the infamous number 11: to wit:

I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

My guess is that the particular dumb bitch in question fills herself up on cases of beans on a regular basis == ad probably welfare

The 'runner up' in this contest of total apathy would have to be number 5 who of course states that she is still a Virginian!

I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

And in third place in terms of points awarded for sheer honesty if not simple apathy alone... comes number three.

I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 655873
United States
07/20/2009 08:23 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
another 10 steps back for humanity...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 711980
United States
07/20/2009 08:29 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
another 10 steps back for humanity...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 655873



If you feel that way maybe you should get off the computer and venture into Detroit to help these poor people.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 721883
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07/20/2009 08:37 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
Why do people act like there aren't morons out there? Please. Look at jaywalking. Stupid knows no bounds.....


Actual answers to college entrance exams YES, COLLEGE:

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

6. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

8. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.

9. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: “Tee hee, Brutus.”

11. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

13. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

14. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.

15. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”

16. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

17. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

18. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

19. During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.

20. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim’s Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

21. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.”. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

22. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

23. Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.

24. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.

25. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

26. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.

27. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

28. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn’t have any children.

29. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is In the East and the sun sets in the West.

30. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

31. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of river to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.

32. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.

33. The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 721883
United States
07/20/2009 08:37 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
another 10 steps back for humanity...



If you feel that way maybe you should get off the computer and venture into Detroit to help these poor people.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 711980



We are helping them, with your tax dollars.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 655873
United States
07/20/2009 08:38 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
another 10 steps back for humanity...



If you feel that way maybe you should get off the computer and venture into Detroit to help these poor people.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 711980



i have, as i live a few miles out of the city. most dont thank you any assistance and a few threaten you for more.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 186317
Costa Rica
07/20/2009 08:44 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
urban legends and chain emails...

hf bsflag
wizaed
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07/20/2009 08:44 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms

banana2 bumpnow thats funny
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 711980
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07/20/2009 08:45 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
another 10 steps back for humanity...



If you feel that way maybe you should get off the computer and venture into Detroit to help these poor people.



i have, as i live a few miles out of the city. most dont thank you any assistance and a few threaten you for more.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 655873


Well... thanks for a honest answer to a snarky response.
wizard
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07/20/2009 08:45 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
banana2 s226now thats funny2......... I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 725812
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07/20/2009 08:47 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
I think # 2 takes the cake !!!


*
 Quoting: Huh ? 477574


sheeeesh, ya mean she ended up pregnant?
Maybe I am the father?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 730599
United States
07/20/2009 08:48 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
pure bullshit. this was debunked on snopes idiots. put the rebel flags away.
lissa

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07/20/2009 08:48 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
#6 is OBAMA
wizard
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07/20/2009 08:48 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
I think # 2 takes the cake !!!


*


sheeeesh, ya mean she ended up pregnant?
Maybe I am the father?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 725812

one of the best i ever read
Me
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12/11/2011 02:21 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
This is, shamefully, not the least bit Godlike.
Monkey Butt

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12/11/2011 02:36 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
My church took 3 buses into the Cass corridor area of Detroit offering folks who may not have had Thanksgiving dinner a ride and dinner. As I served some of these wonderful people you could see some really needed help and were so grateful. Many however, in their furs and jewelry gave me a hard time. You see it was pumpkin pie, not sweet potato pie. They did take the gift boxes we made too because I am sure after paying for those gold bracelets a free toothbrush, soap, shampoo, snacks, and whatever else we could fit into it would come in handy. True story and it is not like they dressed for dinner since they had no idea we were coming.
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2011 02:43 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2011 02:52 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
Why do people act like there aren't morons out there? Please. Look at jaywalking. Stupid knows no bounds.....


Actual answers to college entrance exams YES, COLLEGE:

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

6. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

8. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.

9. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: “Tee hee, Brutus.”

11. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

13. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

14. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son’s head.

15. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”

16. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

17. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo’s last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

18. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

19. During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.

20. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim’s Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

21. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.”. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

22. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

23. Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth’s career.

24. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.

25. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

26. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.

27. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

28. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn’t have any children.

29. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is In the East and the sun sets in the West.

30. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

31. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of river to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.

32. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.

33. The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 721883


I have to say it: Damn You Auto-Correct!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ms. Marion

User ID: 2864150
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12/11/2011 02:57 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
Who's Your Daddy?

The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'Father's Details,' or putting it another way.... Who's your Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check out #11, it takes 1st prize and #3 is runner up.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks...

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me.

8. Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you axe him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time..... Well, I don't have clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World. Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 730233


All of this was written by the same person. If this really came from Detroit there would be massive spelling, grammar, and syntax errors.
Ms. Marion
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2011 03:04 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
It's obviously fake because too many of the words written by these women are spelled correctly.
Anonymous Coward
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12/11/2011 03:31 PM
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bsflag
BlondeQT

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12/11/2011 03:39 PM
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Re: Who's Your Daddy? Replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms
I blame Clinton


clintonkid
This thread needs more cowbell!

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