REPORT ABUSIVE REPLY
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Message Subject
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Notes from an "alternate universe". Introduction to a new way of thinking.
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Poster Handle
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Jesse Sovoda |
Post Content
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[snips]
I find it interesting and (sadly) predictable that the more I focus on "keeping" my precious, the more my "genius" provides me scenarios where I have to defend my right to "keep" it.
Quoting: Jesse Sovoda I would not say that this is a test. It seems more like resistance at work. Do you see the two of you as different people, or the same person? If I may ask (apologies), if she disappeared tomorrow where would that leave you? Quoting: Chaol No apologies needed. I agree with you, that's why I feel it's so "(sadly) predictable". I do not see us as the same "person" but I do see her as a (primary) component of myself. If she were to disappear "tomorrow" (which I almost dread noting as I believe this is a logical possibility) I would (predictably) experience it to be a tremendous "loss". She's my "best friend", my "companion" and my "love". She's my "inspiration" and my "challenge". I would "survive", of course, and the voids created by her absence ("sudden" irrelevance) would create vacuums sucking into my experience frame a new representation for perspective to fill the voids. In short, I imagine an experience like that would leave "me" filled with "regret". I'd most likely (start) by seeking to transition into a perspective where the symbol (I "wish"(fool myself into believing") her to be) is represented and still relative. (thank you Chaol for humoring me) Quoting: Jesse Sovoda I was hesitant to post about this. Two days ago (the day of the above post), she nearly choked to death. The Heimlich wouldn't work because (the much too large to swallow chunk of roast beef) hadn't gotten into her windpipe, and was stuck in her esophagus and the pressure kept her from breathing. It was intense, and for a moment (after my attempts to get her to shoot it across the room had failed) I thought I might lose her (thought of Chaol"s question) and yelled for the other people at the restaurant to "CALL 911!" That moment, she stopped trying to breathe she was able to force it up and out. Much later that night, we got back from a club and she was eating her left-overs (a little, drunk) and it happened to her again (and she somehow got it out herself). She didn't even bother to wake me. She even said "If I died, it'd be better for you". There is much more to the last few days, but it's all a little too personal for the web. The thing is, after this onslaught of "final destination" style experiences, she seems to have changed her perspective (or at least the way I perceive her has changed). She's (finally) appearing to be interested in hearing my perspective. Strange that, without overtly creating a "genius map", allowing the ideas to flow here (on this thread) have led me to what looks like something I've longed to experience for quite some time. Time will tell.
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