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I think my wife is an Alien!

 
lilmiss

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10/04/2009 01:58 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
Where did Op go? Has been eaten already? Maybe she's looking for dessert now. Run! Run now!

ahhh
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2009 01:59 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
what mod pinned this? how did you become a mod?
this is inane....you should be banned for incompetnce!
 Quoting: moran mod alert! 774347


Its to lighten the mood, you don't have to read it,,, go way
Freethinker (OP)

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10/04/2009 02:10 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
Second Clue: Her feet never get warmer than about 45 deg. F. And they are heat seeking, like the pits on a viper...swear to god, I have awoken in the middle of the night several times with a serious Toe-Taint conjunction that I found "bracing" to say the least.

Thanks for the Pin Mods...glad someone is taking this seriously.
Freethinker (OP)

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10/04/2009 02:10 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
Seriously. I have evidence that this woman is from another planet.

Clue the first: She denies being an alien. This is exactly what you'd expect from an extraterrestial.



This kind of non-sense receives a pin? Intellectual impoverishment at its height.

I once respected your posts - my how the tables have tuned.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 772633


Sorry to disappoint you. I used to be smarter than I am now.
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2009 02:13 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
Second Clue: Her feet never get warmer than about 45 deg. F. And they are heat seeking, like the pits on a viper...swear to god, I have awoken in the middle of the night several times with a serious Toe-Taint conjunction that I found "bracing" to say the least.

Thanks for the Pin Mods...glad someone is taking this seriously.
 Quoting: Freethinker

Same with my wife.

I think it's a trait designed to stir us from our lethargy and force us to procreate.

Notice, the man usually yawns first at night. This is a signal to the wife that it's time for bed.

Does she do an hour long "burn" of frenetic activity before coming to bed? Usually after you've gone to bed?
Freethinker (OP)

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10/04/2009 02:17 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
Second Clue: Her feet never get warmer than about 45 deg. F. And they are heat seeking, like the pits on a viper...swear to god, I have awoken in the middle of the night several times with a serious Toe-Taint conjunction that I found "bracing" to say the least.

Thanks for the Pin Mods...glad someone is taking this seriously.

Same with my wife.

I think it's a trait designed to stir us from our lethargy and force us to procreate.

Notice, the man usually yawns first at night. This is a signal to the wife that it's time for bed.

Does she do an hour long "burn" of frenetic activity before coming to bed? Usually after you've gone to bed?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 728979

OMG, its epidemic. My wife has a routine that she follows like a flowchart! It's disconcerting, but after 20 years, at least I know what she's going to do next.

Good luck brother, be strong in the face of this alien plot!
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2009 02:18 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
Where did Op go? Has been eaten already? Maybe she's looking for dessert now. Run! Run now!

ahhh
 Quoting: lilmiss

chuckle
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2009 02:20 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
Second Clue: Her feet never get warmer than about 45 deg. F. And they are heat seeking, like the pits on a viper...swear to god, I have awoken in the middle of the night several times with a serious Toe-Taint conjunction that I found "bracing" to say the least.

Thanks for the Pin Mods...glad someone is taking this seriously.

Same with my wife.

I think it's a trait designed to stir us from our lethargy and force us to procreate.

Notice, the man usually yawns first at night. This is a signal to the wife that it's time for bed.

Does she do an hour long "burn" of frenetic activity before coming to bed? Usually after you've gone to bed?

OMG, its epidemic. My wife has a routine that she follows like a flowchart! It's disconcerting, but after 20 years, at least I know what she's going to do next.

Good luck brother, be strong in the face of this alien plot!
 Quoting: Freethinker

I think the "frenetic burn" is a cover...somewhere in that hour they signal their scoutships and do the daily update!
Evil Twin

10/04/2009 02:23 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
I have awoken in the middle of the night several times with a serious Toe-Taint conjunction that I found "bracing" to say the least.


 Quoting: Freethinker

ahhh

chuckle
Freethinker (OP)

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10/04/2009 02:30 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
3rd Clue:

Her skin requires daily application of several kinds of creams and conditioners. Surely this being evolved in some other ecosystem, where the ambient UV radiation was insufficient to require additional coverage of a protective film.

I have discovered her soaking in a tub of water from time to time, I suppose to rehydrate her alien skin. I have looked for scales in the tub, but results are inconclusive.
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2009 02:32 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
3rd Clue:

Her skin requires daily application of several kinds of creams and conditioners. Surely this being evolved in some other ecosystem, where the ambient UV radiation was insufficient to require additional coverage of a protective film.

I have discovered her soaking in a tub of water from time to time, I suppose to rehydrate her alien skin. I have looked for scales in the tub, but results are inconclusive.
 Quoting: Freethinker

I hadn't considered this aspect...bears watching!
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2009 02:33 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
wthread
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2009 02:34 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
have you seen that move 'catch22'?
Freethinker (OP)

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10/04/2009 02:44 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
wthread
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 357364

Slow Sunday
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2009 02:47 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
Seriously. I have evidence that this woman is from another planet.

Clue the first: She denies being an alien. This is exactly what you'd expect from an extraterrestial.
 Quoting: Freethinker


Yes...she is indeed an alien...we know...because we have all done her :) Once you go alien...you don't go back :)
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2009 02:55 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
Seriously. I have evidence that this woman is from another planet.

Clue the first: She denies being an alien. This is exactly what you'd expect from an extraterrestial.
 Quoting: Freethinker


yea and I think my husband used to be a frog.....he was probably better off in that state..LOL
Outsider
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10/04/2009 02:57 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
what mod pinned this? how did you become a mod?
this is inane....you should be banned for incompetnce!



nice spelling of moran, moron!


sorry you missed the point...on GLP, the correct spelling is MORAN...pay attention!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 774347


Please don't confuse GLP convention with "correctness," for Yada's sake. 5a
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2009 02:57 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
Seriously. I have evidence that this woman is from another planet.

Clue the first: She denies being an alien. This is exactly what you'd expect from an extraterrestial.


Yes...she is indeed an alien...we know...because we have all done her :) Once you go alien...you don't go back :)
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 768208

Guess the kids finally woke up and are hitting the threads.
Was nice while it lasted.
Fish

User ID: 567630
United States
10/04/2009 03:28 PM

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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
tell her to take yu for ride in her ship?



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The Inside Of Ships - What I RememberPosted by Yshatar Xzatara on December 29, 2008 at 4:01pm in U.F.O.'s
Back to U.F.O.'s Discussions
Upon the many times I have been aboard ships (spaceships) I have noticed that there are no knobs just color coded patch like controls that seem to be manipulated by the mind also atmosphere is always cool but comfortable and there is more than one operating the ships but with their minds it is really awesome how they work all their minds are independent but work together to power and navigate the ships which seem to be alive as well....the ships always had HUGE windows that seem to go from the top of the ship to the bottom or at least almost to the bottom and you can see the universes pass you by.....truly a remarkable experience.
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Permalink Reply by Acyutananda on December 29, 2008 at 4:05pm
I remember reading a snippet in that book I mentioned, "Alien Identities", that had a whole section on the interior of spaceships known in Sanskrit as 'Vimana'.
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Permalink Reply by Yshatar Xzatara on December 29, 2008 at 4:28pm
Did it sound at all familiar to what I described?...truly fascinating...I for some reason am VERY fascinated by their ships lol.
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Permalink Reply by Acyutananda on December 29, 2008 at 4:53pm
it was describing a number of different ships. I haven't fully read the book myself, I've only had the chance to flick through it, but it takes a lot of information from Vedic scriptures which I read.
I think I'm going to buy the book! It would be great for reference.
If you get it first let me know :)
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Permalink Reply by Yshatar Xzatara on December 29, 2008 at 4:54pm
LOL OK...LMAO This Site Should Have A Book Club :D
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Permalink Reply by Acyutananda on December 29, 2008 at 5:00pm
ooh! Actually I DO remember it discussing how these ships were controlled by THOUGHT or by the mind.
..something to do with mercury??
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Permalink Reply by Yshatar Xzatara on December 29, 2008 at 5:51pm
Yay I am not insane LMAO....hm interesting I will have to see what I find on the net as well till I buy that book.
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Permalink Reply by lexiblue on February 6, 2009 at 4:10am
Wow! That seems so familliar but I have no memory of it. I suppose my imagination really responded to your discription. Sounds alot like what Sheldan Nidle from P.A.O. described. Could you feel love from the craft itself?
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Permalink Reply by Yshatar Xzatara on February 9, 2009 at 9:58pm
I felt love from being in space periode it was strange but beautiful.
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Permalink Reply by Yshatar Xzatara on February 9, 2009 at 9:58pm
Thanks!...will have to defenitly check that out.
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Permalink Reply by David on March 29, 2009 at 11:14pm
There ships are very awsom inside I remember everything being controled by the mind especialy Sirian, and Andromeda ships. There technology is amazing.
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Permalink Reply by Yshatar Xzatara on March 30, 2009 at 6:05am
Very much so David....:)
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:fishheads:




my youtube
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2009 03:32 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
tell her to take yu for ride in her ship?
:fishheads:

 Quoting: Fish

Fish, thought you might enjoy this:

"Of the taking of wives there is no end, and many wives are a weariness unto the flesh.

Dogs, on the other hand, make great fishing buddies."
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2009 03:38 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
i love to watch my dog listen. She is so cute at it. The last time they took me fishing i annoyed everybody because i set the bait free if they werent looking & all the fish they caught i talked to each fish & told them how awesome they were & that i love them then i made the fisherman set the fish free. They havent taken me fishing since then :-)
grrttsgar

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10/04/2009 03:42 PM

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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
nddhthsp
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2009 03:46 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
wthread
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 357364


No doom until Oct. 25 !! We needed some shit before that !!
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2009 03:48 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
OP just called me, he had got given us important info !!
He is now in Nibiru under hard interrogatories !!
hiding
R1
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10/04/2009 04:01 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
Seriously. I have evidence that this woman is from another planet.

Clue the first: She denies being an alien. This is exactly what you'd expect from an extraterrestial.
 Quoting: Freethinker



Pics or it didn't happen.
XLR8

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10/04/2009 04:04 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
[link to vids.myspace.com]

Attack of the Hot Female Alien Man-Eaters

Be afraid, be very afraid.
Czar: 1) An unelected person given substantial authority over a particular policy; 2) sometimes used to refer to monarchs of imperial Russia.
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“A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have.” - Thomas Jefferson
Seymore Flares

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10/04/2009 04:09 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
What colour is she?


Is she grey? Or off-white, maybe?
The chariots of God are tens of thousands, and thousands of thousands.
Anonymous Coward
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Netherlands
10/04/2009 04:10 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
Question:
My wife is an illegal alien due to her green card expiring. She wants a divorce. Can I have her deported and not have to go through divorce proceedings?

Answer:
No. Even if she is deported, you will still be married.
Anonymous Coward
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10/04/2009 04:15 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
this is by far the best troll i've seen HAHAHA

god you made my day today
Anonymous Coward
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Netherlands
10/04/2009 04:17 PM
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Re: I think my wife is an Alien!
Signs that your Mate is Alien:

[link to www.geekculture.com]

You constantly catch your mate staring off into the distance as if in a trance, especially while you are talking to him/her. It is most likely that your mate is communicating with the Mother Ship.

Your mate seems to catch on a little too quickly on how to program the VCR or newest phone model, or computer program, or operate the cappuccino machine. It is probable that your mate is used to an even more advanced technology... technology of Alien Origin.

After watching the news, your mate disappears “to the washroom”. Your mate is probably talking to its alien co-workers about your country’s state of affairs.

On planning a vacation your mate insists on visiting strange places such as; NASA, the White House, the Kodak plant, the Motorola factory, and The Computer Museum, and of course, Roswell.

“Collecting” is a major hobby of your mate. Aliens are rather interesting this way, when they get it into their heads to collect something, there’s no stopping them! Everything from black velvet paintings to rocks is of value to them.

Your mate constantly complains about being chilled, especially in the winter, or being too hot, especially in the summer. They may also complain about being hungry, then, a short time later, usually after a meal, complain about being full.

Your mate seems to command local weather patterns. If you’ve heard your mate say, “I wish it would stop raining” and indeed it does stop raining in the next hour, your mate/alien could have affected the weather with its wishes.

When asked about its childhood, or its high school friends, your mate becomes very vague or wishes not to discuss it. If your mate is an alien, then it most likely did not have a childhood here on earth.

Your mate has no concept of saving money. Alien culture has evolved such that money is obsolete. Your mate is no doubt struggling to deal with an unfamiliar concept.

Your mate often does not want to go out with you, or be seen with you in public. Aliens prefer to be alone, gathering data and writing reports, hoping to get their articles in Alien Science Journals.

Your mate has a variety of pets. Aliens are always curious about Earth’s creatures. They will often have a cat, dog, fish, turtles, and sometimes Sea Monkeys®. Aliens will not however, have too many of one kind of pet, for instance 20 cats. They prefer to watch different species interact.

Your mate snores loudly at about the same time every night. This is another form of communication to the mother ship. This form of communication is also utilized by whales who are also aliens

Well there’s my list. I hope it helps you out. If you think you’ve discovered other ways to tell if your mate is an Alien, please e-mail them, and perhaps I can convince the Editors of Mind Numbing Magazine™ to publish them in a second article... that is... if they are not Aliens themselves!

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