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My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 713601
United States
10/28/2009 04:36 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
RELAX!!

If you try to CONTROL or RUN his life he will rebel ... Whoops, looks like that is what he is doing.

Drugs? If it is just "soft" drugs then he is the norm, including the norm of Ivy League College Kids!! You may not like it, but that is the norm today, AND was the norm as far back as the early 1970's! Chill if he isn't doing hard stuff. Most kids grow out of that phase of their lives when they hit their mid 20's. (my own dad who was older saw the same kind of behavior of "kids" back during prohibition ... but then it was ILLEGAL alcohol, so he was never uptight about it when I was in college long ago)

College? YOU didn't go right away at 18 so why did/do YOU expect HIM to go? The word "Hypocrite" comes to mind. Some kids don't go right away but end up getting college degrees later. Remember, Bill Gates DROPPED OUT of college during his FIRST YEAR, and has NEVER gone back!! (and his family was ALL college educated going back several generations) Me thinketh that you are a bit too uptight on fulfilling society's "expectations" on this matter, versus what is good for the individual (thank God for Bill Gates that HIS family was supportive of him NOT going to college, though it was the family history for everyone to go ... unlike YOU).

Military? Many people don't want to be part of that "killing machine". I know I didn't back during the Vietnam era even though my family had a strong military background and my own uncle was one of the top Pentagon "ring knockers" who was running that small show. (btw, NONE of his kids served in the military either). Different values for different people is how you should approach this. I was never criticized for not wanting to go into the military nor go to Vietnam ... and my uncle NEVER criticized his kids for not wanting to do that either.

Money? Sheesh, at 20 why is it important? Other things ARE much more important at that age. Money may be important later in life, but when one is young like that one needs to find out what they want to do with life. Some will end up doing "nothing", but most who have a brain end up A-OK in the long run as they find something that interests them and drives them to WANT to work. You need to really step away from your attitude about money when it comes to 20 something kids. Money is NOT the be all to end all of life, other things are MUCH more important in this world.

Time for DAD to Chill Out and to STOP TRYING TO RUN HIS KID'S LIFE!!

Do you really "Love" him? Or are you just trying to USE HIM for your own selfish ends?

If you "Love" him then you want him to #1 be happy, which may mean him living a lifestyle that you yourself would not want to lead.

(now if he is into hard drugs then you may need to intervene in that aspect of his life ... but otherwise he sounds like a normal 20 something who has a domineering parent who is trying to run his life)
TorontonianGuy
User ID: 803476
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10/28/2009 04:36 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
What you eat is as important as anything !

Just over a year ago, I started reading everything on the internet regarding nutrition. I then started my "diet" switching from junk to highly nutritious food. I started feeling much better and more energy/thinking improved immensely! My daughter moved back for a year or so and picked up on my regimen. She has continued and now has a place of her own and is doing great. Now my son has returned and is now on the road to eating properly. He smokes dope, as do I, but more importantly realizes that "What you eat is as important as anything !"
 Quoting: TorontonianGuy 803476


Sorry, one thing I missed, unconditional love. Tell him you love him every single day ! Good luck
cloud4strife

User ID: 757498
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10/28/2009 04:57 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
This thread symbolizes the changing consciousness of the planet.


We clearly can see what the older generation values:
Hard work, domination, materialistic gain, very male and Piscean "make a name for yourself" mentality.

However, the new generation knows its here to shake things up and eradicate these very principles that have led us to the brink of planetary destruction.

We value unity, mastering our own creations, spiritual understanding (weed "zones" you in by the way), fun, and love.

There is no reason life should not be like the latter.



We apologize if working 40 hours a week and killing for cash and "honor" isn't our thing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 757588



Right Fookin on man. Right on!

hugs
Apology in advance for killin your thread.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 784384
United States
10/28/2009 04:58 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
Sounds like a fun person to hang out with, does he want another friend?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 783923
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10/28/2009 04:59 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
WTF would YOU do?
 Quoting: 18E 802891


You weren't strict enough.

Things my parents nagged me about in my 20's sunk in by my 30's, so never give up bitching / nagging. Make sure he knows you love him.
Anonymous Coward
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10/28/2009 05:00 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
Fire him and adopt me as your new and improved son.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 783923
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10/28/2009 05:01 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
This thread symbolizes the changing consciousness of the planet.


We clearly can see what the older generation values:
Hard work, domination, materialistic gain, very male and Piscean "make a name for yourself" mentality.

However, the new generation knows its here to shake things up and eradicate these very principles that have led us to the brink of planetary destruction.

We value unity, mastering our own creations, spiritual understanding (weed "zones" you in by the way), fun, and love.

There is no reason life should not be like the latter.



We apologize if working 40 hours a week and killing for cash and "honor" isn't our thing.



Right Fookin on man. Right on!

hugs
 Quoting: cloud4strife


Bullshit. The fall of the Patriarchy / Family unit = the fall of civilized behavior. You want an example of a matriarchy? Africa.....

People are like puppies. Be firm, strict with your kids and they'll turn out fine. 90% of our criminals today are from single Mother homes - like feril animals with no fear of anything.
CharlaneIn2009
User ID: 797312
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10/28/2009 05:03 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
OP, the sins of the father.....

You, just like your son, are victims of social engineering. Keep the faith. Keep loving him. He is lost, just like you are only in a different way. He will surprise you in the future.

I have seen so many times where parents berate their children and the situation just gets worse. If you want to raise your children, then take the analogy of raising a flower. If it is given loving care, it blooms.

Peace to all. Have faith in love and in each other.
cloud4strife

User ID: 757498
United States
10/28/2009 05:04 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
This thread symbolizes the changing consciousness of the planet.


We clearly can see what the older generation values:
Hard work, domination, materialistic gain, very male and Piscean "make a name for yourself" mentality.

However, the new generation knows its here to shake things up and eradicate these very principles that have led us to the brink of planetary destruction.

We value unity, mastering our own creations, spiritual understanding (weed "zones" you in by the way), fun, and love.

There is no reason life should not be like the latter.



We apologize if working 40 hours a week and killing for cash and "honor" isn't our thing.



Right Fookin on man. Right on!

hugs


Bullshit. The fall of the Patriarchy / Family unit = the fall of civilized behavior. You want an example of a matriarchy? Africa.....

People are like puppies. Be firm, strict with your kids and they'll turn out fine. 90% of our criminals today are from single Mother homes - like feril animals with no fear of anything.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 783923


You and your 'archys are so passe. Look out and see what comes from the rubble.

This so called son (i believe this thread is based on a farce) sees the future. It aint bright. The only thing to do is hunker down and wait for the assholes to kill themselves off.

Last Edited by cloud4strife on 10/28/2009 05:06 PM
Apology in advance for killin your thread.
Anonymous Coward
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10/28/2009 10:45 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
curious as to what others might say
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 791835
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10/28/2009 10:53 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
Bullshit. The fall of the Patriarchy / Family unit = the fall of civilized behavior. You want an example of a matriarchy? Africa.....

People are like puppies. Be firm, strict with your kids and they'll turn out fine. 90% of our criminals today are from single Mother homes - like feril animals with no fear of anything.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 783923


you must mean the single mother homes where the asshole dad didn't bother to stick around and help out?

the self loathing is palpable.

bsflag
Eggs
User ID: 817593
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11/13/2009 01:41 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
Wow, some of you guys here are utter morons.

The OP is right. Do you guys realize that on the other side of the planet, hundreds of millions of Chinese are working their butts off to secure a better life for themselves? How will you compete with them? You potheads are living off the spoils of your parents and others, while producing nothing of real value. You laugh at the Chinese now for their cheap labor, but at some point you will found out you have nothing else to offer in exchange.
Anonymous Coward
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Netherlands
11/13/2009 03:42 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?

What dad says such stuff over his son. shame on u its not 1945 anymore. try to reach him on a positive way. not militairy way.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 17061
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11/13/2009 03:47 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
WTF would YOU do?
 Quoting: 18E 802891


I would order a pizza.
Hit his pipe with him, and go questing together.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 168100
United States
11/13/2009 04:52 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
I've (DH was against it) let 2 of our daughter's friends (male) 21 and 22 stay as they had no where to go. They have made no effort to DO anything. I've asked one of them since July to take down a small 12 x 12 deck. There's only 13 boards. Just take them nails out and stack them. Still sitting there, 3 boards only done. Take the kudzu off the fence, mow the grass... nuttin... There isn't a nano bit of GUMPTION in either one of them. One of them had a job but lost it due to dating the boss's niece. But he hasn't tried to get anything else. He let the insurance lapse on his truck and has the excuse of not going far as he will get the car impounded for no insurance.

Our daughter is in college, going to school, working and having a life. So is her friend, (who we took in due to her parents chucking her out; and no good reason for that, good girl, honors, works her job) both girls are ex's of the guys.

Told them both last week, after finding out one of them missed the deadline for school, that they are on notice to either a) enroll in school or find a job. One kid's folks are done with him as he stole a bunch of $$$ from them for, get this, freaking video games; and the other's folks are kinda unable to help emotionally or financially. We have not asked them to contribute to the household $$ and we feed them. But I've never seen such unwillingness or inability to figure out how to feed themselves.

I grew up in the 50's and 60's. We mowed grass, shoveled snow, babysat; whatever it took to make some $$. My folks didn't give us an allowance. My DH grew up hungry and poor with an alky dad who didn't really keep jobs for a long time. Year here, 2 there etc. At 16 he left home and join MM and then went to Nam in 67-68 in Army. Got out, learned welding, hvac, cars, whatever. He can fix anything; doesn't matter what it is. Good with his hands, lol.

Kids these days don't know the business end of a hammer. Some are gear heads but most are puter geeks and are addicted to these games. Why? CUZ THEY FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES IN THE GAMES.. an alter ego; they can be ANYBODY... real life is too scary...

OP, perhaps you son could open a bmx repair/custom business or he could go to school to make his own evercrack game or whatever. Lead to him with that. These are his joys. If you can make your joy your job, life is sweet... I feel for you OP. But you've not done anything wrong. It is true society has a lot to do with it. Kids lean more toward their "tribe" than their family at this age. Sry rant is so long... ;-)
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
11/13/2009 04:54 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
He WAS an Olympic class/candidate swimmer (multiple national reportable times, some USA records in 15-18 boys class)
 Quoting: 18E 802891


Get Michael Phelps to start bonging on with your son. Maybe he'll end up only winning eight gold medals like that lazy slacker Michael Phelps, who should have won at least 12 gold medals if he wasn't such a lazy slacker stoner.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 726147
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11/13/2009 05:08 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
Easy! He got it from your wife. Good for nothingness is an inherited trait. If it didn't come from you, it came from her. Just learn to enjoy taking care of him and he can be a stay at home son.
Anonymous Coward
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Finland
11/13/2009 05:12 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
For such a well-disciplined guy it sounds like you didn't pass it on to him too well. Part of it may be you, part of it may be the fact that this culture encourages young people to be shiftless, worthless, entitled little parasites.

Tell him you'll kick him out into the street if he does not get a grip and become a responsible human being who can carry his own weight in life without someone to wipe his ass for him.

Then if he does not get it together, follow up on it and make him fend for himself. He will sink or swim. If he lives long enough, he may thank you for it. If he does not, or becomes a homeless drug addict, that will be one of the sad vagaries of life that you will have to live with.

It's a hugely imperfect world.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 797648


Why should I serve this fucked up system where elite are scamming billions upon billions our moneys and we are working like slaves. FUCK this unfair system. I rather leech it than be a slave.
Anonymous Coward
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11/13/2009 05:17 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
Make him pay you rent or kick him out on his ass. My parents would never tolerate this type of behavior at all. Everyone posting otherwise are in the same boat as your son and will never amount to anything until they get their act together.
Anonymous Coward
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11/13/2009 05:28 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
altcdnflagaltcdnflagaltcdnflagaltcdnflagaltcdnflagaltcdnflagaltcdnflagaltcdnflagaltcdnflagaltcdnflagGod Made And I Smoked It.God Blesaltcdnflags All 420Saltcdnflagaltcdnflagaltcdnflagaltcdnflagaltcdnflag
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 627484
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11/13/2009 06:09 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
Sounds like a perfect candidate for posting useless crap here on GLP.
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
11/13/2009 06:09 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
Make him pay you rent or kick him out on his ass. My parents would never tolerate this type of behavior at all. Everyone posting otherwise are in the same boat as your son and will never amount to anything until they get their act together.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 496147


So he can keep skating, BMXing, playstationing, smoking pot, etc, as long as he pays rent?
Anonymous Coward
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11/13/2009 06:12 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
Dad,
I'm 20 years old. I have a job. Do you know how many don't have jobs? I have one. Does that mean anything? It doesn't pay what you think I should make, but I perform an important service, cooking for others, delivering their food.

It gives me money to do what I want. Do you know what I want, Dad? Do you care what I want?

I don't want to join the military. I think it's wrong to kill people because someone tells me to.

So I smoke a little, snort a little. I want to enjoy life and not think about all the problems, the wrongs, the injustice, the hypocrisy.

Sure I've been busted for drugs. I don't think the laws are fair, necessary, or even legal. Should I set out to change that? Would that embarrass a military man?

Do you see what the world is like? How long will it go on? Wouldn't you like to enjoy it while it lasts?

I don't save. Why should I give the bank my money, knowing they may steal it like they've stolen everything else they can get their hands on.

I took a class for you, Dad. Did you know it was for you? I don't want to go to college, don't want to join the military, don't want to have 6 figures in the bank. But I took the class. It was saying, I love you, in a way I can't verbalize.

I don't know yet what I want, but know clearly what I don't want. I'm 20 Dad. Only 20. Maybe some day I'll be as wise as you. Maybe I'll even make some of the choices you made, but until then, help me find myself.

I'm sorry about your cars. You know I'm sorry. I'm sorry you feel the way you do. But know this, Dad. I love you. And would love nothing more than having the love returned.
Love,
Your Son
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 791743


headbang
Anonymous Coward
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11/13/2009 06:15 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
Listen well:

He's a narcissist. Stop caring or worrying about the situation and reflect his own behaviour at him - a kid as smart as him doesn't benefit from direct advice, its gotta be a game.
Anonymous Coward
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11/13/2009 06:20 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
Pat yourself on the back 4 doing such a great job of being a real father and a man.

Not
Anonymous Coward
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11/13/2009 06:23 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
Make him pay you rent or kick him out on his ass. My parents would never tolerate this type of behavior at all. Everyone posting otherwise are in the same boat as your son and will never amount to anything until they get their act together.


So he can keep skating, BMXing, playstationing, smoking pot, etc, as long as he pays rent?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 817731


He would most likely not be able to afford things like pot if he had rent to pay.
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
11/13/2009 07:09 PM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
Totally squared away (NEVER used drugs- ever.)
Left home at 18 joined Army
Served 5 years Panama, El Salvador)as non-com
BS University of California (I paid for it myself)
6 figures in bank, home will be paid for in 5 more years
Working same job for 16 years NEVER MIssed a DAY not one.


WTF would YOU do?
 Quoting: 18E 802891


Call you a Liar.
You all are a bunch of losers
User ID: 818749
United States
11/15/2009 12:27 AM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
Everyone one of you here giving the OP Dad a hard time are losers destined to work at dead-end jobs. Get off the bong and actually do a day of honest work for once. You guys are pathetic.
You all are a bunch of losers
User ID: 818749
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11/15/2009 12:27 AM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
Every one of you here giving the OP Dad a hard time are losers destined to work at dead-end jobs. Get off the bong and actually do a day of honest work for once. You guys are pathetic.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
11/15/2009 01:02 AM
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Re: My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?
is the constant coughing another one of the stomer straits? I heard doctor drew explaining about potheads, the laugh they all have, the attitude, everything, he says he's not using anymore but the still CONSTANTly coughing/clearin throat almost and obses/compuls thing...

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