My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?

RELAX!!

If you try to CONTROL or RUN his life he will rebel ... Whoops, looks like that is what he is doing.

Drugs? If it is just "soft" drugs then he is the norm, including the norm of Ivy League College Kids!! You may not like it, but that is the norm today, AND was the norm as far back as the early 1970's! Chill if he isn't doing hard stuff. Most kids grow out of that phase of their lives when they hit their mid 20's. (my own dad who was older saw the same kind of behavior of "kids" back during prohibition ... but then it was ILLEGAL alcohol, so he was never uptight about it when I was in college long ago)

College? YOU didn't go right away at 18 so why did/do YOU expect HIM to go? The word "Hypocrite" comes to mind. Some kids don't go right away but end up getting college degrees later. Remember, Bill Gates DROPPED OUT of college during his FIRST YEAR, and has NEVER gone back!! (and his family was ALL college educated going back several generations) Me thinketh that you are a bit too uptight on fulfilling society's "expectations" on this matter, versus what is good for the individual (thank God for Bill Gates that HIS family was supportive of him NOT going to college, though it was the family history for everyone to go ... unlike YOU).

Military? Many people don't want to be part of that "killing machine". I know I didn't back during the Vietnam era even though my family had a strong military background and my own uncle was one of the top Pentagon "ring knockers" who was running that small show. (btw, NONE of his kids served in the military either). Different values for different people is how you should approach this. I was never criticized for not wanting to go into the military nor go to Vietnam ... and my uncle NEVER criticized his kids for not wanting to do that either.

Money? Sheesh, at 20 why is it important? Other things ARE much more important at that age. Money may be important later in life, but when one is young like that one needs to find out what they want to do with life. Some will end up doing "nothing", but most who have a brain end up A-OK in the long run as they find something that interests them and drives them to WANT to work. You need to really step away from your attitude about money when it comes to 20 something kids. Money is NOT the be all to end all of life, other things are MUCH more important in this world.

Time for DAD to Chill Out and to STOP TRYING TO RUN HIS KID'S LIFE!!

Do you really "Love" him? Or are you just trying to USE HIM for your own selfish ends?

If you "Love" him then you want him to #1 be happy, which may mean him living a lifestyle that you yourself would not want to lead.

(now if he is into hard drugs then you may need to intervene in that aspect of his life ... but otherwise he sounds like a normal 20 something who has a domineering parent who is trying to run his life)

Sorry, one thing I missed, unconditional love. Tell him you love him every single day ! Good luck

Right Fookin on man. Right on!

Sounds like a fun person to hang out with, does he want another friend?

You weren't strict enough.

Things my parents nagged me about in my 20's sunk in by my 30's, so never give up bitching / nagging. Make sure he knows you love him.

Fire him and adopt me as your new and improved son.

Bullshit. The fall of the Patriarchy / Family unit = the fall of civilized behavior. You want an example of a matriarchy? Africa.....

People are like puppies. Be firm, strict with your kids and they'll turn out fine. 90% of our criminals today are from single Mother homes - like feril animals with no fear of anything.

OP, the sins of the father.....

You, just like your son, are victims of social engineering. Keep the faith. Keep loving him. He is lost, just like you are only in a different way. He will surprise you in the future.

I have seen so many times where parents berate their children and the situation just gets worse. If you want to raise your children, then take the analogy of raising a flower. If it is given loving care, it blooms.

Peace to all. Have faith in love and in each other.

You and your 'archys are so passe. Look out and see what comes from the rubble.

This so called son (i believe this thread is based on a farce) sees the future. It aint bright. The only thing to do is hunker down and wait for the assholes to kill themselves off.

Last Edited by cloud4strife on 10/28/2009 05:06 PM

curious as to what others might say

you must mean the single mother homes where the asshole dad didn't bother to stick around and help out?

the self loathing is palpable.

Wow, some of you guys here are utter morons.

The OP is right. Do you guys realize that on the other side of the planet, hundreds of millions of Chinese are working their butts off to secure a better life for themselves? How will you compete with them? You potheads are living off the spoils of your parents and others, while producing nothing of real value. You laugh at the Chinese now for their cheap labor, but at some point you will found out you have nothing else to offer in exchange.

My son is a total pothead loser slacker, what should I do?

What dad says such stuff over his son. shame on u its not 1945 anymore. try to reach him on a positive way. not militairy way.

I would order a pizza.
Hit his pipe with him, and go questing together.

I've (DH was against it) let 2 of our daughter's friends (male) 21 and 22 stay as they had no where to go. They have made no effort to DO anything. I've asked one of them since July to take down a small 12 x 12 deck. There's only 13 boards. Just take them nails out and stack them. Still sitting there, 3 boards only done. Take the kudzu off the fence, mow the grass... nuttin... There isn't a nano bit of GUMPTION in either one of them. One of them had a job but lost it due to dating the boss's niece. But he hasn't tried to get anything else. He let the insurance lapse on his truck and has the excuse of not going far as he will get the car impounded for no insurance.

Our daughter is in college, going to school, working and having a life. So is her friend, (who we took in due to her parents chucking her out; and no good reason for that, good girl, honors, works her job) both girls are ex's of the guys.

Told them both last week, after finding out one of them missed the deadline for school, that they are on notice to either a) enroll in school or find a job. One kid's folks are done with him as he stole a bunch of $$$ from them for, get this, freaking video games; and the other's folks are kinda unable to help emotionally or financially. We have not asked them to contribute to the household $$ and we feed them. But I've never seen such unwillingness or inability to figure out how to feed themselves.

I grew up in the 50's and 60's. We mowed grass, shoveled snow, babysat; whatever it took to make some $$. My folks didn't give us an allowance. My DH grew up hungry and poor with an alky dad who didn't really keep jobs for a long time. Year here, 2 there etc. At 16 he left home and join MM and then went to Nam in 67-68 in Army. Got out, learned welding, hvac, cars, whatever. He can fix anything; doesn't matter what it is. Good with his hands, lol.

Kids these days don't know the business end of a hammer. Some are gear heads but most are puter geeks and are addicted to these games. Why? CUZ THEY FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES IN THE GAMES.. an alter ego; they can be ANYBODY... real life is too scary...

OP, perhaps you son could open a bmx repair/custom business or he could go to school to make his own evercrack game or whatever. Lead to him with that. These are his joys. If you can make your joy your job, life is sweet... I feel for you OP. But you've not done anything wrong. It is true society has a lot to do with it. Kids lean more toward their "tribe" than their family at this age. Sry rant is so long... ;-)

Get Michael Phelps to start bonging on with your son. Maybe he'll end up only winning eight gold medals like that lazy slacker Michael Phelps, who should have won at least 12 gold medals if he wasn't such a lazy slacker stoner.

Easy! He got it from your wife. Good for nothingness is an inherited trait. If it didn't come from you, it came from her. Just learn to enjoy taking care of him and he can be a stay at home son.

Why should I serve this fucked up system where elite are scamming billions upon billions our moneys and we are working like slaves. FUCK this unfair system. I rather leech it than be a slave.

Make him pay you rent or kick him out on his ass. My parents would never tolerate this type of behavior at all. Everyone posting otherwise are in the same boat as your son and will never amount to anything until they get their act together.

God Made And I Smoked It.God Bless All 420S

Sounds like a perfect candidate for posting useless crap here on GLP.

So he can keep skating, BMXing, playstationing, smoking pot, etc, as long as he pays rent?

Listen well:

He's a narcissist. Stop caring or worrying about the situation and reflect his own behaviour at him - a kid as smart as him doesn't benefit from direct advice, its gotta be a game.

Pat yourself on the back 4 doing such a great job of being a real father and a man.

Not

He would most likely not be able to afford things like pot if he had rent to pay.

Call you a Liar.

Everyone one of you here giving the OP Dad a hard time are losers destined to work at dead-end jobs. Get off the bong and actually do a day of honest work for once. You guys are pathetic.

Every one of you here giving the OP Dad a hard time are losers destined to work at dead-end jobs. Get off the bong and actually do a day of honest work for once. You guys are pathetic.

is the constant coughing another one of the stomer straits? I heard doctor drew explaining about potheads, the laugh they all have, the attitude, everything, he says he's not using anymore but the still CONSTANTly coughing/clearin throat almost and obses/compuls thing...