I've (DH was against it) let 2 of our daughter's friends (male) 21 and 22 stay as they had no where to go. They have made no effort to DO anything. I've asked one of them since July to take down a small 12 x 12 deck. There's only 13 boards. Just take them nails out and stack them. Still sitting there, 3 boards only done. Take the kudzu off the fence, mow the grass... nuttin... There isn't a nano bit of GUMPTION in either one of them. One of them had a job but lost it due to dating the boss's niece. But he hasn't tried to get anything else. He let the insurance lapse on his truck and has the excuse of not going far as he will get the car impounded for no insurance.
Our daughter is in college, going to school, working and having a life. So is her friend, (who we took in due to her parents chucking her out; and no good reason for that, good girl, honors, works her job) both girls are ex's of the guys.
Told them both last week, after finding out one of them missed the deadline for school, that they are on notice to either a) enroll in school or find a job. One kid's folks are done with him as he stole a bunch of $$$ from them for, get this, freaking video games; and the other's folks are kinda unable to help emotionally or financially. We have not asked them to contribute to the household $$ and we feed them. But I've never seen such unwillingness or inability to figure out how to feed themselves.
I grew up in the 50's and 60's. We mowed grass, shoveled snow, babysat; whatever it took to make some $$. My folks didn't give us an allowance. My DH grew up hungry and poor with an alky dad who didn't really keep jobs for a long time. Year here, 2 there etc. At 16 he left home and join MM and then went to Nam in 67-68 in Army. Got out, learned welding, hvac, cars, whatever. He can fix anything; doesn't matter what it is. Good with his hands, lol.
Kids these days don't know the business end of a hammer. Some are gear heads but most are puter geeks and are addicted to these games. Why? CUZ THEY FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES IN THE GAMES.. an alter ego; they can be ANYBODY... real life is too scary...
OP, perhaps you son could open a bmx repair/custom business or he could go to school to make his own evercrack game or whatever. Lead to him with that. These are his joys. If you can make your joy your job, life is sweet... I feel for you OP. But you've not done anything wrong. It is true society has a lot to do with it. Kids lean more toward their "tribe" than their family at this age. Sry rant is so long... ;-)
Quoting: Anonymous Coward 168100from what i have seen over the last 10years is that once you get a job, any job, and they put down on what ever file the company uses that other comanys pay them for the info on said person, and if it shows you just work and arn't working to going to collage or are saving up for collage,
or going to collage partime and working to cover the cost,
[ i have met no one who can aford collage wile working unless they have a big grant or some one gave them cash],
that you become just a "worker",
over the last 10 years it mean nothing, if you are not able to show to the companys that you are goping to "become more",
then you arn't wanted and most people are told your a loser slacker and it dose not matter how many jobs or work your rez shows, if you are not part of what the "corp world" thinks is right you fucked.
worse thing that can happen to young people in todays wolrd is tp get the label of worker, the country only want colage grads and people in collage, even though there have never been enuff jobs, and now there are no jobs.
the only thing worse then being a "worker", is joining the army.
though at this point you'd get more out of joining the army,
and if you look any of the middle class and lower class kids can normal only become workers and or join the army , so this has become a new class,
never let your self be labeled a worker,
you'll never go any where, this is the reasone these kids do nothing, why should they, the country dose not want them,
you go to jail ,the army, mc'ds and that it.
the country an't what it once was people.
