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Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister
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Ex-Minister
User ID: 534348
10/30/2009 11:58 PM
Report abusive post | Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister
| Quote |
I was a senior in high school at the time and making decisions about career and college. I was "led" into the full-time Christian ministry shortly after my conversion, so I chose to attend a rather well-known Bible college in South Carolina.
After four years there, I sensed that I'd most likely eventually become an overseas missionary, the which I did. But before accepting a missionary assignment in Italy, I graduated, got married, was a youth pastor, a Bible teacher in a Christian school, put in a year towards my Master of Divinity degree, and finally pastored a church in Philadelphia for three years. Six years after graduation from college, my wife, two children, and I moved to Europe to evangelize and start evangelical churches.
This was my life and ministry for over 28 years, but all during this time I was struggling to maintain my faith. I had so many questions about the Bible and its teachings. I kept suspecting that Christianity really didn't "work." I mean, prayer didn't really work. Faith didn't make me a new person. My old "sins" were still plaguing me. I rarely sensed any "presence of God" in my life. I looked for God's guidance, but rarely was sure I got it. And even then it often turned out to be patently erroneous. I experienced church and missions from the inside and became very disillusioned with it. For an enterprise headed by the God of the universe, it sure was awfully human, and terribly fallible. I really saw precious little that could be called "evidence of God" in it all.
My questions about the Bible and its teachings just multiplied over the years, until I had to intentionally close my eyes to them in order to maintain anything like enough faith to continue my ministry without feeling like a total hypocrite. But the struggle only got worse...along with depression and very real self-loathing (for my feelings of hypocrisy.)
Finally, after 28 years overseas, I came to that place where I just could no longer consider myself a believer. I could no longer represent Jesus and the Bible, as my missions agency called on me to do. Honesty demanded that I quit the ministry and return Stateside.
It is now almost five years that I've been back in the "secular" world. I no longer attend church. I have come to peace with my unbelief. In fact, I am happier and enjoy greater contentment now than at any other time in my adult life. The dust has slowly settled in my mind and I have come to realize that I actually do not believe in God at all anymore. I haven't looked to become an atheist, but I guess that's what I am... and I'm very happy in my unbelief, thank you very much!
That's my story in a nutshell. If anyone wants to comment on it or jot me line, feel free (rjtrueman AT gmail DOT com). I'm not crusading for atheism, but neither am I ashamed of it. Quite the contrary.
Be well! |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 534348 (OP)
10/30/2009 11:59 PM | |
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 703510
10/31/2009 12:00 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
I was a senior in high school at the time and making decisions about career and college. I was "led" into the full-time Christian ministry shortly after my conversion, so I chose to attend a rather well-known Bible college in South Carolina.
After four years there, I sensed that I'd most likely eventually become an overseas missionary, the which I did. But before accepting a missionary assignment in Italy, I graduated, got married, was a youth pastor, a Bible teacher in a Christian school, put in a year towards my Master of Divinity degree, and finally pastored a church in Philadelphia for three years. Six years after graduation from college, my wife, two children, and I moved to Europe to evangelize and start evangelical churches.
This was my life and ministry for over 28 years, but all during this time I was struggling to maintain my faith. I had so many questions about the Bible and its teachings. I kept suspecting that Christianity really didn't "work." I mean, prayer didn't really work. Faith didn't make me a new person. My old "sins" were still plaguing me. I rarely sensed any "presence of God" in my life. I looked for God's guidance, but rarely was sure I got it. And even then it often turned out to be patently erroneous. I experienced church and missions from the inside and became very disillusioned with it. For an enterprise headed by the God of the universe, it sure was awfully human, and terribly fallible. I really saw precious little that could be called "evidence of God" in it all.
My questions about the Bible and its teachings just multiplied over the years, until I had to intentionally close my eyes to them in order to maintain anything like enough faith to continue my ministry without feeling like a total hypocrite. But the struggle only got worse...along with depression and very real self-loathing (for my feelings of hypocrisy.)
Finally, after 28 years overseas, I came to that place where I just could no longer consider myself a believer. I could no longer represent Jesus and the Bible, as my missions agency called on me to do. Honesty demanded that I quit the ministry and return Stateside.
It is now almost five years that I've been back in the "secular" world. I no longer attend church. I have come to peace with my unbelief. In fact, I am happier and enjoy greater contentment now than at any other time in my adult life. The dust has slowly settled in my mind and I have come to realize that I actually do not believe in God at all anymore. I haven't looked to become an atheist, but I guess that's what I am... and I'm very happy in my unbelief, thank you very much!
That's my story in a nutshell. If anyone wants to comment on it or jot me line, feel free (rjtrueman AT gmail DOT com). I'm not crusading for atheism, but neither am I ashamed of it. Quite the contrary.
Be well! Quoting: Ex-Minister 534348
you followed christians.
the command is to follow The Christ Jesus.
to walk in truth is it.
you live a lie now. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 804398
10/31/2009 12:01 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
Bob Jones Graduate. For whatever reason Fundamentalist who go bad are made twice the child of hell than any evangelical and I don't get that.
Run as fast and as hard away from God Jonah. You know down deep in your heart the outcome. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 806579
10/31/2009 12:04 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
Something about this story stinks. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 800472
10/31/2009 12:09 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
Bob Jones Graduate. For whatever reason Fundamentalist who go bad are made twice the child of hell than any evangelical and I don't get that.
Run as fast and as hard away from God Jonah. You know down deep in your heart the outcome. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 804398
Just to throw this out too - 98% of people who attend those Billy Graham crusades end up falling away - NO JOKE! I'm not surprised b/c Graham rarely ever preaches sin and repentence(i.e. he always says, "My job is to preach the love of God, which is the cross", and he'll leave it AT THAT). He's also a 33rd Degreer to boot!
I believe Bob Jones is a Council for National Policy member - you ain't gonna get sound doctrine from this guy.
Pt being that you better be listening to someone who KNOWS the word, and NOT be attending any of those 501c3 churches.
If you really want to hear someone preach the word PROPERLY, then listen to these men...
Scott Johnson - Current Events and Bible Study
[link to sermonaudio.com]
Edward Watson - Lighthouse Baptist Chapel
[link to sermonaudio.com] |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 797089
10/31/2009 12:50 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
Wow. I have only been reading GLP for about two weeks but this has got to be one of the best posts I've seen. I would give you five stars if I knew how.
This universe is to big and complex to be defined as a battle between God and Lucifer with us poor helpless humans stuck in the middle and the destiny of your sole being based on what you chose to believe.
Think about what the Christian say that God says:
"I'm going to give you an average of 70 years to figure out who Jesus was and of you get it wrong I am going to torture you for eternity.
P.S. Since I am omnipotent I knew before you were born what your destiny would be and I decided to create you anyway."
I think you made the right decision. |
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Sir.Kalin
User ID: 806632
10/31/2009 12:56 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
After about 30 years myself of being brainwashed into believing the holey-babble, and after much study I too came to the realization that it is not true.
And to think that I once was so convinced that I would have died for it!
Yet, I was totally wrong!
Last Edited by Sir.Kalin on 10/31/2009 at 12:56 AM
- Jesus paid for our sins, now let's get our money's worth.
- The only hot-dog that needs a warning label is the 'Barney Frank'.
- You can’t argue with reason against a position that isn’t based on reason.
- Those who just want 'free-will' and don't exercise it, would not be capable of keeping it if they had it.
- Isaiah 45:7 - "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things." |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 800472
10/31/2009 12:59 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
After about 30 years myself of being brainwashed into believing the holey-babble, and after much study I too came to the realization that it is not true.
And to think that I once was so convinced that I would have died for it!
Yet, I was totally wrong! Quoting: Sir.Kalin
I'm just the COMPLETE opposite - after so many years of REBELLING against God's word, b/c I thought the whole thing was utter garbage, I've come to the realization in recent years that it IS TRUELY the WORD OF GOD, and we need to walk in obedience which is faith through Jesus Christ.
BTW - if Christianity were so phony, then why are masons and wolves in sheeps clothing like Billy Graham, Rick Warren, and John Hagee masquerading as Christians, only to do all they can to dilute the gospel? |
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Bugeater
User ID: 797338
10/31/2009 12:59 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
You were never a Christian. |
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Bugeater
User ID: 797338
10/31/2009 1:00 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
After about 30 years myself of being brainwashed into believing the holey-babble, and after much study I too came to the realization that it is not true.
And to think that I once was so convinced that I would have died for it!
Yet, I was totally wrong! Quoting: Sir.Kalin
You never knew Christ. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 806976
10/31/2009 1:03 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
Something about this story stinks. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 806579
yeah. i bet its typed by a megaphony. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 804278
10/31/2009 1:03 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
The Bible is not the Church ... don't mix up the two. Christianity is all about being alive in Christ, within the Christian Church, and it's not a good idea to subsititute this ecclesial life for a literalist interpretation of Scripture. |
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Sir.Kalin
User ID: 806632
10/31/2009 1:03 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
After about 30 years myself of being brainwashed into believing the holey-babble, and after much study I too came to the realization that it is not true.
And to think that I once was so convinced that I would have died for it!
Yet, I was totally wrong!
You never knew Christ. Quoting: Bugeater
You are correct!
Because, Christ doesn't exist and never did!
You are delusional and a dangerous threat to the rest of us.
- Jesus paid for our sins, now let's get our money's worth.
- The only hot-dog that needs a warning label is the 'Barney Frank'.
- You can’t argue with reason against a position that isn’t based on reason.
- Those who just want 'free-will' and don't exercise it, would not be capable of keeping it if they had it.
- Isaiah 45:7 - "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things." |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 543223
10/31/2009 1:03 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
some things are true whether you believe them or not |
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New Age Messiah
User ID: 782948
10/31/2009 1:05 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
Good job. You fagtard Jesus buttboys can't touch the guy now, the hook is no longer in the fish's mouth.
Fishers of men need HOOKS to catch people......
[link to www.lookyourheartinthemirror.com] |
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9teen.47™ 
Time is short.
User ID: 805813
10/31/2009 1:07 AM
 | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
You were never a Christian. Quoting: Bugeater
 Sadly I am inclined to agree with Bugeater.
You should know darned well that we are right in the middle of the End Times when we should be out spreading the word. And what do you do? You stand on the sidelines throwing sh*t on those who are helping with the harvest. What use are you for anything. Pull yourself togeather while you are still blessed with a little time, I'm sick and tired of hearing from people like you. HERE HE COMES!...
[link to www.chick.com]
Last Edited by 9teen.47™ on 10/31/2009 at 1:08 AM
Zec 12:3 And in that day will I make Jerusalem a burdensome stone for all people: all that burden themselves with it shall be cut in pieces, though all the people of the earth be gathered together against it.
Psa 9:17 The wicked shall be turned into hell, [and] all the nations that forget God.
STOCK UP NOW. You should have at least 6 months worth of basics for every member of your household. Stay away from crowds when trouble starts, do not forget water storage, tobaccos worth more than gold or silver, and be kind to hungry children. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 806981
10/31/2009 1:07 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
I was a senior in high school at the time and making decisions about career and college. I was "led" into the full-time Christian ministry shortly after my conversion, so I chose to attend a rather well-known Bible college in South Carolina.
After four years there, I sensed that I'd most likely eventually become an overseas missionary, the which I did. But before accepting a missionary assignment in Italy, I graduated, got married, was a youth pastor, a Bible teacher in a Christian school, put in a year towards my Master of Divinity degree, and finally pastored a church in Philadelphia for three years. Six years after graduation from college, my wife, two children, and I moved to Europe to evangelize and start evangelical churches.
This was my life and ministry for over 28 years, but all during this time I was struggling to maintain my faith. I had so many questions about the Bible and its teachings. I kept suspecting that Christianity really didn't "work." I mean, prayer didn't really work. Faith didn't make me a new person. My old "sins" were still plaguing me. I rarely sensed any "presence of God" in my life. I looked for God's guidance, but rarely was sure I got it. And even then it often turned out to be patently erroneous. I experienced church and missions from the inside and became very disillusioned with it. For an enterprise headed by the God of the universe, it sure was awfully human, and terribly fallible. I really saw precious little that could be called "evidence of God" in it all.
My questions about the Bible and its teachings just multiplied over the years, until I had to intentionally close my eyes to them in order to maintain anything like enough faith to continue my ministry without feeling like a total hypocrite. But the struggle only got worse...along with depression and very real self-loathing (for my feelings of hypocrisy.)
Finally, after 28 years overseas, I came to that place where I just could no longer consider myself a believer. I could no longer represent Jesus and the Bible, as my missions agency called on me to do. Honesty demanded that I quit the ministry and return Stateside.
It is now almost five years that I've been back in the "secular" world. I no longer attend church. I have come to peace with my unbelief. In fact, I am happier and enjoy greater contentment now than at any other time in my adult life. The dust has slowly settled in my mind and I have come to realize that I actually do not believe in God at all anymore. I haven't looked to become an atheist, but I guess that's what I am... and I'm very happy in my unbelief, thank you very much!
That's my story in a nutshell. If anyone wants to comment on it or jot me line, feel free (rjtrueman AT gmail DOT com). I'm not crusading for atheism, but neither am I ashamed of it. Quite the contrary.
Be well! Quoting: Ex-Minister 534348
>>My questions about the Bible and its teachings just multiplied over the years, <<
WHAT QUESTIONS?? |
|
Sir.Kalin
User ID: 806632
10/31/2009 1:08 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
You were never a Christian.
Sadly I am inclined to agree with Bugeater.
You should know darned well that we are right in the middle of the End Times when we should be out spreading the word. And what do you do? You stand on the sidelines throwing sh*t on those who are helping with the harvest. What use are you for anything. Pull yourself togeather while you are still blessed with a little time. HERE HE COMES?...
[ link to www.chick.com]
All you Christards have been in the middle of the end times for 2000 years!
- Jesus paid for our sins, now let's get our money's worth.
- The only hot-dog that needs a warning label is the 'Barney Frank'.
- You can’t argue with reason against a position that isn’t based on reason.
- Those who just want 'free-will' and don't exercise it, would not be capable of keeping it if they had it.
- Isaiah 45:7 - "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things." |
|
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 806981
10/31/2009 1:09 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
I was a senior in high school at the time and making decisions about career and college. I was "led" into the full-time Christian ministry shortly after my conversion, so I chose to attend a rather well-known Bible college in South Carolina.
After four years there, I sensed that I'd most likely eventually become an overseas missionary, the which I did. But before accepting a missionary assignment in Italy, I graduated, got married, was a youth pastor, a Bible teacher in a Christian school, put in a year towards my Master of Divinity degree, and finally pastored a church in Philadelphia for three years. Six years after graduation from college, my wife, two children, and I moved to Europe to evangelize and start evangelical churches.
This was my life and ministry for over 28 years, but all during this time I was struggling to maintain my faith. I had so many questions about the Bible and its teachings. I kept suspecting that Christianity really didn't "work." I mean, prayer didn't really work. Faith didn't make me a new person. My old "sins" were still plaguing me. I rarely sensed any "presence of God" in my life. I looked for God's guidance, but rarely was sure I got it. And even then it often turned out to be patently erroneous. I experienced church and missions from the inside and became very disillusioned with it. For an enterprise headed by the God of the universe, it sure was awfully human, and terribly fallible. I really saw precious little that could be called "evidence of God" in it all.
My questions about the Bible and its teachings just multiplied over the years, until I had to intentionally close my eyes to them in order to maintain anything like enough faith to continue my ministry without feeling like a total hypocrite. But the struggle only got worse...along with depression and very real self-loathing (for my feelings of hypocrisy.)
Finally, after 28 years overseas, I came to that place where I just could no longer consider myself a believer. I could no longer represent Jesus and the Bible, as my missions agency called on me to do. Honesty demanded that I quit the ministry and return Stateside.
It is now almost five years that I've been back in the "secular" world. I no longer attend church. I have come to peace with my unbelief. In fact, I am happier and enjoy greater contentment now than at any other time in my adult life. The dust has slowly settled in my mind and I have come to realize that I actually do not believe in God at all anymore. I haven't looked to become an atheist, but I guess that's what I am... and I'm very happy in my unbelief, thank you very much!
That's my story in a nutshell. If anyone wants to comment on it or jot me line, feel free (rjtrueman AT gmail DOT com). I'm not crusading for atheism, but neither am I ashamed of it. Quite the contrary.
Be well! Quoting: Ex-Minister 534348
>>My questions about the Bible and its teachings just multiplied over the years, <<
WHAT QUESTIONS? |
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Askin' about Ricky
User ID: 806994
10/31/2009 1:38 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
BTW - if Christianity were so phony, then why are masons and wolves in sheeps clothing like Billy Graham,
Rick Warren,
and John Hagee masquerading as Christians, only to do all they can to dilute the gospel? Quoting: Anonymous Coward 800472
Is Rick Warren a Mason? |
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reptilicus
User ID: 804689
10/31/2009 1:51 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
God loves atheists. They will do things for God that those of religion will not. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 804278
10/31/2009 1:54 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
God loves atheists. They will do things for God that those of religion will not. Quoting: reptilicus 804689
It's true. Sometimes I wish God had made an intelligent apostate, but I am too faithful and low-brow to be anything else. |
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Reality Is B.S
User ID: 799587
10/31/2009 1:56 AM
 | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
BTW - if Christianity were so phony, then why are masons and wolves in sheeps clothing like Billy Graham,
Rick Warren,
and John Hagee masquerading as Christians, only to do all they can to dilute the gospel?
Is Rick Warren a Mason? Quoting: Askin' about Ricky 806994
Does a bear shit in the woods? |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 548848
10/31/2009 2:00 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
Interesting post, opie. I'm sympathetic to the goals and questions that religion pursues but think faith is the wrong way to go about it. I was raised in fairly strict religious environment and from the very start, even as a young child, knew it was bogus, and not only a fraud but even deliberately evil. |
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Reality Is B.S
User ID: 799587
10/31/2009 2:12 AM
| | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
It's in threads like this that the truly damaged minds come out. They are very predictable and will attack you by claiming you didn't know your own mind and that you never were a Christian. They are incapable of hearing anything you say because they are so locked into the Christian reality tunnel. |
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Ex-believer
User ID: 807011
10/31/2009 2:16 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
It is my humble view that religion is the greatest hoax ever to have been perpetrated on the human race. Most of the historical information we should have had was deliberately destroyed by those who stood to benefit from the 'new religion', Christianity! And boy ... have they been successful! I too was a believer for many years; a regular church goer, church organist, attending bible studies etc. Anyone willing to do some serious research will find that religion is nothing more than a security blanket to those who fear what may come after we depart this life. Gods in many forms have been around since the earth began. The bible that's revered so much is the history of the Jewish people. One needs to look 'outside the square' and research other cultures.
Get a copy of 'in god's name', 'holy blood, holy grail', 'the woman with the alabaster jar'. There are many more books available for those interested to further their research.
And when you've done reading, listen to 'the theme from Time' read by Sir Laurence Olivier.
I have one simple philosophy by which I try to live these days ... do the right thing by others and oneself. Look after our environment, our patch of earth, our flora and fauna.
The universe is a very big place ..... |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 591484
10/31/2009 2:19 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
It's in threads like this that the truly damaged minds come out. They are very predictable and will attack you by claiming you didn't know your own mind and that you never were a Christian. They are incapable of hearing anything you say because they are so locked into the Christian reality tunnel. Quoting: Reality Is B.S
well said, so true. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 591484
10/31/2009 2:22 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
You were never a Christian.
:blackcat: Sadly I am inclined to agree with Bugeater.
You should know darned well that we are right in the middle of the End Times when we should be out spreading the word. And what do you do? You stand on the sidelines throwing sh*t on those who are helping with the harvest. What use are you for anything. Pull yourself togeather while you are still blessed with a little time, I'm sick and tired of hearing from people like you. HERE HE COMES!...
[ link to www.chick.com]
As are we you. |
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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 750799
10/31/2009 2:24 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
Wow. I have only been reading GLP for about two weeks but this has got to be one of the best posts I've seen. I would give you five stars if I knew how.
This universe is to big and complex to be defined as a battle between God and Lucifer with us poor helpless humans stuck in the middle and the destiny of your sole being based on what you chose to believe.
Think about what the Christian say that God says:
"I'm going to give you an average of 70 years to figure out who Jesus was and of you get it wrong I am going to torture you for eternity.
P.S. Since I am omnipotent I knew before you were born what your destiny would be and I decided to create you anyway."
I think you made the right decision. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 797089
Exactly the reason why I have had a hard time accepting Christianity. |
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simply asheep
User ID: 627666
10/31/2009 2:26 AM | | Re: Atheist after 40 years a Christian Minister | Quote |
Wow. I have only been reading GLP for about two weeks but this has got to be one of the best posts I've seen. I would give you five stars if I knew how.
This universe is to big and complex to be defined as a battle between God and Lucifer with us poor helpless humans stuck in the middle and the destiny of your sole being based on what you chose to believe.
Think about what the Christian say that God says:
"I'm going to give you an average of 70 years to figure out who Jesus was and of you get it wrong I am going to torture you for eternity.
P.S. Since I am omnipotent I knew before you were born what your destiny would be and I decided to create you anyway."
I think you made the right decision. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 797089
Judgement is based on what you know in respect to how long you have lived. Those who were without the law will be Judged according to thier heart bearing witness with thier conscious. Those the knew the law will be Judged according to the law. Natural Law ....mosaic law etc... Those who have heard Christ will be Judged accordingly.None are without excuse! Romans 2 |
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