My kids were left alone by Stepmother

No not at all OP! That was very irresponsible on her part. I would have done the same thing.

Are you?.
In this situation, it is hard to know if this is because of your kids left alone while she walks the dogs, or it is because of her. Only you know.

Good move on your part!

I would have given her knees a solid tap or two with my front bumper before I went back to pick up the kids, but that's just me...

Nine and seven? How long is a dog walk? If this was for 10 mins I think you are over reacting. I mean do they have a yard? If not the dogs have to be walked. She left her own child too so its tough to call here.

9 and 7 maybe. But they are not mature enough to care for a 3 year old should an emergency arrise.

You sound so self righteous but who do you think you are to take HER child out of HER home and plunk her down with a person who is outside with three dogs!!! They were probably all watching tv and playing while their mom was out front. I had six kids and would go out to hang up clothes ( 20 minutes) in the back yard and never a mishap...I waited till sesame st came on and gave them each a plastic cup of cheerios/raisens/bitty marshmallows.
I bet you were thrilled to have a reason to be hatefull.

hmm, she shouldn't have walked so far with the dogs at least if she stayed in the same block would be fine... but a mile away is a bit much.

Your in the right to do what you did

But in her defense if any.... she has to walk the dogs and i don't think she could bring 3 kids with her let alone 3 year old, mind you if she was responsible, the kids should take priority over a walk for the dogs.

I would have just let the dogs in the back yard, till they do there buisness.

She doesn't seem to have her priorities straight

Just takes a second for a kid to see a lighter or something and light a toilet paper roll on fire.

I did it once was smart enough to toss it into the toilet... after it went out the toilet was pretty much black on the inside after some cleaning the black marks came off :P

Depends on how responsible your 9 year old is.

Also depends on the security of the "hood".

I know kids less than 9 who have the ability to defend themselves, if your kid is normal in this day and age, then good call.

youse a bad momma
youse a bad momma

The house does have a yard (about a half-acre).

I am not the type for confrontation. I admit, I don't like the woman and I am still bitter, but I would rather keep the peace and mutter under my breath.

Before I confronted her I went back in the school and told the secretary of my concerns. She told me to go ask her who's with the kids?

You did the right thing. She is just being negligent. If it happens again, talk to your lawyer.

where was dad?

9,7,and 3 are too young to home alone.

Imagine this --


The house caught on fire. Your kids survived (but badly burned) but the three-yr-old died.

Your kids would live with that guilt the entire lives - just because of an irresponsible adult.

They are all children. And should never, ever be left alone. I know I am over-protective of all children. But that is our job as adults. Period.

I was left alone alot as a young child. I was lucky nothing happened.

Agreed. Good thing you spoke to another adult about it. LOG THIS INCIDENT and don't make a big deal of it to her face. But again, this could be a pattern.

You also need to be VIGILANT and interview your children in a gentle way about their interactions with her. I wouldn't trust this woman. A gal who would leave her 3 year old alone with a 9 and 7 year old while she is OUT OF THE HOUSE ENTIRELY is NOT TRUSTWORTHY!

Hell. I would talk to my lawyer and the authorities now. Just to have a report on record.

Speak to him too. Let him know what happened and that you're not trying to be unreasonable, you just want to ensure it doesn't happen again. If a fight starts, walk away. AGAIN, LOG HIS RESPONSE.

I do not need you judgement!!!


If you would read the post correctly, the person I plunked her kid down with is HIS mother!!

Oh I dunno, there's plenty of trouble a 9 and 7 year old can get up to, and that is without the 3yo.

I have a 9 year old and a 3 year old and I would NEVER leave them alone. its those moments when accidents happen. and I don't think you over-reacted because I would have flipped out.

Depends on the neighborhood and how far the stepmom walked the dog, but if all the kids were in the 9 year old range it would be OK. Since there was a toddler involved the stepmom was in the wrong in this instance. Maybe you could come to an arrangement--she watches the kids while you walk the dog?

those kids could have have got into mischief and a tradegy can occur fast . happens all the time in America......never leave little ones unattented . she could have stepped outside with the dog on her front yard ...rather than walking a g ood distance away ....she made a very poor choice....

That was understood...
IF you wanted to help your children to be in a safer environment, you would /could have befriended this person who will influence your children for ten years and nicely advise her that this wasnt a good idea and did she know how others might perceive this and how could you help her out here. That is a smart response to modify her behavior to help your children be safe.
What you chose was not to go to her home and check on your kids but to RUN to the school to tattle tale and then run to her house without talking to her and strong arm her little child probably all mad and yelling at your kids.
What she did was ill advised but what you did was deliberate and confiscating her child possibly just as bad.

CHildren can get into trouble with you sitting right beside them.

This individual knows nothing about responsibility. It may have not been your responsibility to take her child, but it was very compassionate that you just didn't leave the 3 year old at home. This woman had no business leaving the others to do her babysitting for her. If she is not responsible to have children and dogs, get rid of the dogs.
You did nothing wrong and actually were very responsible given her irresponsibility. Daddy has a fool on his hands and I wish him luck in the future, it's only going to get worse.

I would definitely keep an eye on my children especially with the character this person represents. Lack of responsibility on her part has placed you in the position you are now in. I don't like fear driving my life, but I would say that this loser has placed you in a position of fear which you are going to have to gain control of.

Inform dad and whomever necessary that the children are not going to be babysitters ever again, the trust level is gone and you are not willing to place them in a situation where they will be held responsible for the 3 year old as you do not trust the adult judgement. These are your children and thru this wacko's judgement, she not you placed you in this position. So all I can say is take the position of adult and handle the situation without more fear of "did I do the right thing".

Get out of the fear mode and accept the authority as parent to your children. Let it be known that the next time they leave your children alone to babysit without discussing with you BEFORE hand, you will call social services and come and pick up your children. You did the right things as I would have just picked up my kids, told a neighbor and called social services. That was an option.

Dad left for on a business trip last night.

When I told her not to leave them alone she said she has done it before.....(so that makes it okay?)

Let me say again, I DON'T LIKE confrontation!! I become visibly shaken. I have not talk to this woman in years, all communication is with the ex. When it comes to my kids I have to stand up!!

Just adding the ex and his wife are two recovering alcoholics that met in AA.

Dangerous and irresponsible.
3-year-olds are into everything! No matter how mature the 9 year old is

NO WAY

The Stepmother made a bad choice... You did the right thing.

YOU NEED TO TALK TO YOUR LAWYER.

I have always been like you, afraid of confrontation. After my children I learned how to deal with confrontation. The first step is to get rid of fear. Do not fear what the person says to you, remember it is you that incorporates their words into your thoughts. Listen to what they say, listen intently because in the words they use they will tell you their fears. (First you have to get rid of yours). ALL anger is based upon fear and once you really know what their fear is, then you can reshape the words they use and place them back at their feet. One of two things now happen, either you disappate the fear or you blow the whole thing up. Either way you win, now I've become a soul that people really do not want to battle with. I still do not like confrontation but I now know when and how to address it.

FEAR is the thing that puts us in our world of unhappiness.