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How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 816756
United States
11/23/2009 03:54 AM
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How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
Hyperventilate.

That's it,just hyperventilate. If you hyperventilate before you blow, you will temporarily evaporate enough of the alky from the lung tissue that subsequent breaths will have much lower alky content. This works (that's why mythbusters NEVER mentioned this method, they knew about it, and they knew it would work, but the suits would not allow them to publicize this)

Copppers may try to force you to take blood test, when you pass the breath if they do YOU WIN! You will have to go to trial though, just tell judge you passed breath and were then FORCED to give blood. Illegal, and judge will have to dismiss.

Also another tip: If you think yer about to be arrested and it's for something that the cop has leeway on weather or not to book you... Well, SHIT YER pants. That's right shit and piss yer pants. Cops are by nature lazy creatures who're not used to being physically uncomfortable. (who would want a poopy pants in they car if they didnthave to?

PLease send me a couple bucks if you beat yer $2,000+ case with my advice!!! dance
NeoFistOfTheGolgoNinj​a

User ID: 824627
United States
11/23/2009 03:58 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
Better yet, DON'T DRINK AND FUCKING DRIVE!!!
[link to www.youtube.com]
A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor and bread it has earned - this is the sum of good government.-- Thomas Jefferson
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 816756
United States
11/23/2009 04:02 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
Hyper venting WORKS! ratdance ratdance cheers cheers
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 819519
New Zealand
11/23/2009 04:03 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
Hyper venting WORKS! ratdance ratdance cheers cheers
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 816756

idiot
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 825077
Canada
11/23/2009 04:03 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
stfu
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 816756
United States
11/23/2009 04:06 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
But it WORKS!! bump cheers
The Commentator

User ID: 587619
United States
11/23/2009 04:20 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
But it WORKS!! bump cheers
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 816756



Care to show some evidence it works?
non sufficit Orbis

Being a zetatard means never having to make sense.

"Nancy pays me to post on Her threads"

Free Store admits to being a paid zetadrool shill

NO max/bridget EVER!!!!!
NO luser EVER!!!
NO clunker EVER!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 821718
United States
11/23/2009 04:22 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
Bullshit !
I was caught driving a mere 3 houses from my neighbors house to my house after downing about 6 Heinekens one night.

I was drunk but hell I parked in my driveway perfectly and very much cognizant and had my motor skills and functions in tact.
The cop asked had I been drinking and the only reason why he even asked was because earlier they were called out because of the music and knew we were drinking.
We complied and lowered the music.
Well obviously they hung around from a distance to arrest us as we left, i just happened to leave first a few hours later.

Anyway I said you already know we had been drinking and I'm home now, I wasnt swerving, I didnt wreck,and I'm not a danger to myself or anyone else, so end of story.

His partner said twice, OK wellyou have a nice night, but this rookie asshole cop insisted I blow into a breathalyzer.

The legal limit is a .08
Heres how I beat it.

I simply held my breath and strained and made it APPEAR as if I was actually blowing.

The entire time the asshole rookie cop kept saying..keep blowing, keep blowing.....I kept faking it.

When the handheld machine beeped and he took the reading, it was a .07

The cop was pissed and arrested me anyway and took me to Parker Center and made me blow into the big breathalyzer at the station.

I did the same exact thing.
FAKED IT and beat it again.

They couldnt issue me a citation because LEGALLY according to the machine I was under the legal limit.

So, they kept me in the drunk tank for 6 hours instead.

NEVER EVER BLOW EVEN A TINY BIT OF AIR FROM YOUR LUNGS INTO THOSE MACHINES !
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 798704
United States
11/23/2009 04:22 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
Better yet, DON'T DRINK AND FUCKING DRIVE!!!
 Quoting: NeoFistOfTheGolgoNinja


indeed!!! dumbass people.
mathetes

User ID: 793782
United States
11/23/2009 04:22 AM

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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
But it WORKS!! bump cheers



Care to show some evidence it works?
 Quoting: The Commentator

Oh good grief...do your really want this tard to poop his pants?















lol
For I would not, brethren, that ye should be ignorant of this mystery, lest ye should be wise in your own conceits; that blindness in part is happened to Israel, until the fulness of the Gentiles be come in.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 816756
United States
11/23/2009 04:37 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
liar, all the beathalyzers will show error if you don't blow a certain air pressure into them. The ONLY way to beat it is if you hyperventilate to temporarily purge the alchohol from the surface of the lungs. You can easily verify this info by trying it on a cheapo DX breathalyzer. If yer gettin bumped by the popo and you have to blow, whaddya got to lose? try it, it works.

Also know yer lyin because in CA if ya blew an .07 you still go down for DUI, they do not just "let you go" for blowin "only" an .07. They will either take you in for "Wet Reckless" or they'll just testify that "in their professional opinion" you were "impaired" even though you were slightly below legal limit..tard

I say AGAIN: HYPERVENTILATING WORKS!
bump
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 821718
United States
11/23/2009 04:42 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
liar, all the beathalyzers will show error if you don't blow a certain air pressure into them. The ONLY way to beat it is if you hyperventilate to temporarily purge the alchohol from the surface of the lungs. You can easily verify this info by trying it on a cheapo DX breathalyzer. If yer gettin bumped by the popo and you have to blow, whaddya got to lose? try it, it works.

Also know yer lyin because in CA if ya blew an .07 you still go down for DUI, they do not just "let you go" for blowin "only" an .07. They will either take you in for "Wet Reckless" or they'll just testify that "in their professional opinion" you were "impaired" even though you were slightly below legal limit..tard

I say AGAIN: HYPERVENTILATING WORKS!
bump
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 816756


I guarantee by not blowing until that machine beeps it will not register above.08 asshole.
I not only did it, I did it twice.

And I told them I had drank and I'm sure they smelled it, and I was neither WET nor RECKLESS.

As far as you calling me a liar go fuck yourself.
And as far as your hyperventilating try that with an L.A cop and watch him give you something to hyperventilate for moron.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 816756
United States
11/23/2009 04:44 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
Theres nothing wrong with drinking and driving. Drunk driving is the problems. The fucking mexicans have fucked it all up for the rest of us. They drive drunk to the point where they're semi-conscious. Hell, many american states have DRIVE UP liquor stores. Whats the BFD if I have 2 or 3 beers on my way home from work? The draconian duece laws are all about REVENUE, they just want money, they dont go after the mexicorns because THEY DONT HAVE ANY MONEY. The mexicans are the real danger on the road.

That reminds me, NEVER, EVER tell the cop that you had "a couple beers". tell them you had 1 (ONE) beer. EVERY drunk they pull over says they only had a "couple beers" every one of'em. Be original! :11:
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 816756
United States
11/23/2009 04:47 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
I guarantee by not blowing until that machine beeps it will not register above.08 asshole.
I not only did it, I did it twice.

And I told them I had drank and I'm sure they smelled it, and I was neither WET nor RECKLESS.

As far as you calling me a liar go fuck yourself.
And as far as your hyperventilating try that with an L.A cop and watch him give you something to hyperventilate for moron.

You're a lying delusional cunt. STFU! You dont know WTF yer saying! Every machine in the bacon inventory requires a certain pressure, now you know this and try to cover for your lying mistake with bombast. Sit you little moron and let yer betters discuss these issues of import, mmm k? peace
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 816756
United States
11/23/2009 04:49 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
why this isnt pinned is beyond me.... unless.. mebbe we can tie this into a muzzie plot??
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 782145
United States
11/23/2009 04:53 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
Better yet, DON'T DRINK AND FUCKING DRIVE!!!
 Quoting: NeoFistOfTheGolgoNinja


+1

Having known two people that have been killed by drink driver - even though one had only had a glass of wine - I would say drink driving is a pretty low practice!

If you drive you are in control of a weapon of mass destruction...

I fyou are caught drink driving and proved guilty you should have your license revoked and serve jail - Period!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 816756
United States
11/23/2009 04:53 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
821718, WHy do you take the time to make some bullshit on an anon thr3ead? damn you dumb. mebbe you black??
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 782145
United States
11/23/2009 04:54 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
I guarantee by not blowing until that machine beeps it will not register above.08 asshole.
I not only did it, I did it twice.

And I told them I had drank and I'm sure they smelled it, and I was neither WET nor RECKLESS.

As far as you calling me a liar go fuck yourself.
And as far as your hyperventilating try that with an L.A cop and watch him give you something to hyperventilate for moron.

You're a lying delusional cunt. STFU! You dont know WTF yer saying! Every machine in the bacon inventory requires a certain pressure, now you know this and try to cover for your lying mistake with bombast. Sit you little moron and let yer betters discuss these issues of import, mmm k? peace
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 816756


Can I ask the OP does he have kids?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 821718
United States
11/23/2009 04:54 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
why this isnt pinned is beyond me.... unless.. mebbe we can tie this into a muzzie plot??
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 816756


Because you're a full fledged tard.
Do you honestly think a cop is going sit idly by and wait for you to finish hyperventaliting before blowing into a machine ?

You're dumb as a pack of poprocks
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 816756
United States
11/23/2009 04:59 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
you jus got caught pulling sometin outta yer ass! LMAO, even though its an anon board (sort of) you are STILL embarrassed you little twat~!

EVERYONE knows ('cept apparently you!) that you cannot fool a breathalyzer by not blowing, the machine REQUIRES a certain pressure (like 1-2psi) to take a reading... ding dong hellooooo MORaN!!

Oh but mebbe yer experience was back in the 80's "when the machines were, somehow, "different""

tee hee he.

It works folks. I promise. 5a
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 806478
Australia
11/23/2009 05:01 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
It doesn't work.
However you will pass out and get taken to hospital and given a blood test.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 821718
United States
11/23/2009 05:11 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
stupthrd
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 816756
United States
11/23/2009 05:25 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
bump
The Commentator

User ID: 587619
United States
11/23/2009 07:31 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
But it WORKS!! bump cheers



Care to show some evidence it works?

Oh good grief...do your really want this tard to poop his pants?















lol
 Quoting: mathetes


Well, actually.......YES!
non sufficit Orbis

Being a zetatard means never having to make sense.

"Nancy pays me to post on Her threads"

Free Store admits to being a paid zetadrool shill

NO max/bridget EVER!!!!!
NO luser EVER!!!
NO clunker EVER!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 714662
United States
11/23/2009 08:18 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
Anyone want to go out tonight and test this theory and let us know if it works?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 456756
United States
11/23/2009 10:43 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
This might stir some controversy, but I feel there should be 2 levels of DWI.

1.) A DWI you get in a city over X amount of population or on an interstate highway.

2.) A DWI you get out in the sticks on a gravel road.

The one in the sticks would be half as expensive.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 821788
United Kingdom
11/23/2009 10:52 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
The best way I've heard is to keep a bottle of rum in your glove compartment. Then if you get pulled over, take it out, shout "PROVE I WAS DRUNK BEFORE THIS", and down it.

Seems foolproof to me.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 738509
United States
11/23/2009 11:23 AM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
This might stir some controversy, but I feel there should be 2 levels of DWI.

1.) A DWI you get in a city over X amount of population or on an interstate highway.

2.) A DWI you get out in the sticks on a gravel road.

The one in the sticks would be half as expensive.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 456756


add a third one...

Driving your lawn mower drunk while being filmed....
an extra half point if you're driving on the road !
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 893843
United States
02/17/2010 05:14 PM
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Re: How to BEAT the breathalyzer!!!
my friend actually beat the test by fake blowing in the machine...they made him do it 3 times and he blew .000 all three times. I was actually the one driving but we were only 16 and i wasnt drinking at all. So i just wanted to say it works
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