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Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 831349
United States
12/01/2009 02:29 PM
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Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Here's a real problem in need of a solution.

Attack of the Asian Carp
[link to www.youtube.com]

They were just talking about these things on the business channel, CNBC.

These fish have infested all the rivers in the midwest, and they're about to invade the Great Lakes, which would destroy a multi billion dollar commercial and sport fishery.

If you can figure out a cheap way of getting rid of these critters, you will be a real hero. And if you can find a market for these things somewhere, you'll probably get rich while you're doing it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 831316
United States
12/01/2009 02:37 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Never sorry, a commercial solution to anything before the complete and utter collapse for the economy of bullshit is, well, fuck it...

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 831358
United States
12/01/2009 02:37 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
two words: CAT FOOD


byekitty
JADR

User ID: 389430
Australia
12/01/2009 02:39 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Here's a real problem in need of a solution.

Attack of the Asian Carp
[link to www.youtube.com]

They were just talking about these things on the business channel, CNBC.

These fish have infested all the rivers in the midwest, and they're about to invade the Great Lakes, which would destroy a multi billion dollar commercial and sport fishery.

If you can figure out a cheap way of getting rid of these critters, you will be a real hero. And if you can find a market for these things somewhere, you'll probably get rich while you're doing it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 831349


Nets that only catch the bastards - and leave honest fish alone...
Dear sir, poor sir, brave sir: You are an experiment by the Creator of the Universe. You are the only creature in the entire Universe who has free will. You are the only one who has to figure out what to do next--and why. Everybody else is a robot, a machine.

"MANE – THECEL – PHARES."
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 831349
United States
12/01/2009 02:40 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
two words: CAT FOOD


byekitty
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 831358


Hmmmmm...

Nice.

You could feed every cat on the planet with these things.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 831349
United States
12/01/2009 02:42 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Here's a real problem in need of a solution.

Attack of the Asian Carp
[link to www.youtube.com]

They were just talking about these things on the business channel, CNBC.

These fish have infested all the rivers in the midwest, and they're about to invade the Great Lakes, which would destroy a multi billion dollar commercial and sport fishery.

If you can figure out a cheap way of getting rid of these critters, you will be a real hero. And if you can find a market for these things somewhere, you'll probably get rich while you're doing it.


Nets that only catch the bastards - and leave honest fish alone...
 Quoting: JADR


The problem with nets is that the fish tear them up. That, and they can jump right over them.

These are not your usual fish.
BRIEF AND TO THE POINT

User ID: 381742
United States
12/01/2009 02:44 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Who the fuck complains about fish jumping into your boat! That would be awesome, and if I got tired of it I would not go in the water.
Poor people do poor people things, and rich people do rich people things.

You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

when you rob Paul to give to Peter ... ... ... you will always get Peters support!

:Brieffromnativea:
TS
User ID: 683425
United States
12/01/2009 02:44 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Here's a real problem in need of a solution.

Attack of the Asian Carp
[link to www.youtube.com]

They were just talking about these things on the business channel, CNBC.

These fish have infested all the rivers in the midwest, and they're about to invade the Great Lakes, which would destroy a multi billion dollar commercial and sport fishery.

If you can figure out a cheap way of getting rid of these critters, you will be a real hero. And if you can find a market for these things somewhere, you'll probably get rich while you're doing it.


Nets that only catch the bastards - and leave honest fish alone...


The problem with nets is that the fish tear them up. That, and they can jump right over them.

These are not your usual fish.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 831349


coat the nets with time release tranquilizer solution when the fish nod off then haul em up.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 830704
United States
12/01/2009 02:44 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Simple. Get bigger, more agressive fish to eat them.

Then let the bigger fish be your children's problem.

That's the way it's done.

Problem solved.

What do I win?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 757124
United States
12/01/2009 02:45 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Sharks, with fricken laser beams attached to its head!!!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 831363
New Zealand
12/01/2009 02:46 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Who the fuck complains about fish jumping into your boat! That would be awesome, and if I got tired of it I would not go in the water.
 Quoting: BRIEF AND TO THE POINT


Ditto
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 757124
United States
12/01/2009 02:48 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Seriously though. Need to get the gator population up. Which means we need some real old fashioned global warming with some home grown genetic modification!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 519048
Netherlands
12/01/2009 02:49 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Kamikaze fish! That is nuts!! Would think this is a joke, if I did not see this on Discovery or something a year ago.

Absolutely crazy. Those are no large mouth bass I tell ya. (Where is that cool dude with the Bass on his car??)

The solution?

Not sure. Research question:

* What do they eat?
(If you can single out something that only they prefer, that may be a solution.)

* How and where do they breed?
(Do they prefer shallow places or what for breeding? Do they make nests or carve out areas like bass or sun fish?)

* Are there any know parasites that effect them?

etc
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 831358
United States
12/01/2009 02:50 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
popcorn

get them hooked on pop corn - they love that stuff

once hooked you can have them will follow you to a corral type set up area where you can just pick them our of water, then


two words: CAT FOOD




byekitty
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 830381
United States
12/01/2009 02:54 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
popcorn

get them hooked on pop corn - they love that stuff

once hooked you can have them will follow you to a corral type set up area where you can just pick them our of water, then


two words: CAT FOOD




byekitty
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 831358



Right! And Fuck Up the stomachs of every fish in the Eco-System . . .
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 807883
United States
12/01/2009 02:55 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
pace maker or old type crank telephone. shock them scoop them up. get a law passed for that fish only. won't stop them. but better than giving up. Creat a Market for them. Fed funds?? lot of people out of work. bounty on their heads?
BRIEF AND TO THE POINT

User ID: 381742
United States
12/01/2009 02:59 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
pace maker or old type crank telephone. shock them scoop them up. get a law passed for that fish only. won't stop them. but better than giving up. Creat a Market for them. Fed funds?? lot of people out of work. bounty on their heads?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 807883


Feed 'em to the hungry. Remember free cheese and butter?
Poor people do poor people things, and rich people do rich people things.

You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

when you rob Paul to give to Peter ... ... ... you will always get Peters support!

:Brieffromnativea:
ShadowDancer

User ID: 287857
United States
12/01/2009 03:02 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Maybe the Chinese like to eat this fish...


they were too busy figuring out germ warfare for the people instead of these parasitic like fish-


typical
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fortitudo et spes
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When Japan happened I responded: "The Excrement Has Impacted the Rotary Oscillator." and clearly it has.
Thread: The Excrement Is Striking the Rotary Oscillator
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"Ego et Dominus sumus amici"
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Ego et mea umbra
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'Man does not have the right to develop his own mind. This kind of liberal orientation has great appeal. We must electrically control the brain. Some day armies and generals will be controlled by electric stimulation of the brain.’
- U.S. government mind manipulator, Dr. Jose Delgado, Congressional Record, No. 262E, Vol. 118, 1974
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Realeyesrealizereal​lies. C.

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Anonymous Coward
User ID: 807883
United States
12/01/2009 03:03 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
pace maker or old type crank telephone. shock them scoop them up. get a law passed for that fish only. won't stop them. but better than giving up. Creat a Market for them. Fed funds?? lot of people out of work. bounty on their heads?


Feed 'em to the hungry. Remember free cheese and butter?
 Quoting: BRIEF AND TO THE POINT

that was my next thought. Drop lic. requirement for that fish. Who eats that fish normally?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 830974
United States
12/01/2009 03:04 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
I fish Lake Michigan and am afraid in a few years it will go down the tubes.

Have fishing contests on the rivers and have prizes for the biggest caught and for getting the biggest wounds from them.

The bowfisherman have been doing a great job.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 807883
United States
12/01/2009 03:06 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Make Fertilizer out of them.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 831025
Canada
12/01/2009 03:08 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
measure the resonance frequencies of the carp bones/skull/membranes/tissues

broadcast intensely over those frequencies (with under/overtones) using SONAR in affected areas. Find the frequenc(ies) that drive the fish away, or better kill/beach it.

sorry about collateral damage.

I hear it works wonders on whales.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 807883
United States
12/01/2009 03:15 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Make Sat. Carp day. Give prizes paid for by fishing lic. funds in that area. $1.00 from each lic. you would sell more lic. so people could compeat.??
New Age Messiah

User ID: 782948
United States
12/01/2009 03:17 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Sharks, with fricken laser beams attached to its head!!!!!

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 757124


THAT'S GOTTA BE THE WINNING IDEA!!! RIGHT ON!!!!
"It Took Me A While To Realise, But N.A.M. Is The Greatest Poster On This, Or Any Other Forum."
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 807883
United States
12/01/2009 03:17 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Make Sat. Carp day. Give prizes paid for by fishing lic. funds in that area. $1.00 from each lic. you would sell more lic. so people could compeat.??
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 807883

Do it county by county and a state wide largest prize monthly?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 830974
United States
12/01/2009 03:18 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
measure the resonance frequencies of the carp bones/skull/membranes/tissues

broadcast intensely over those frequencies (with under/overtones) using SONAR in affected areas. Find the frequenc(ies) that drive the fish away, or better kill/beach it.

sorry about collateral damage.

I hear it works wonders on whales.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 831025

There is a barrier in place, but not working. Poor design.

If you google carp barrier it should come up.
BRIEF AND TO THE POINT

User ID: 381742
United States
12/01/2009 03:19 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
pace maker or old type crank telephone. shock them scoop them up. get a law passed for that fish only. won't stop them. but better than giving up. Creat a Market for them. Fed funds?? lot of people out of work. bounty on their heads?


Feed 'em to the hungry. Remember free cheese and butter?

that was my next thought. Drop lic. requirement for that fish. Who eats that fish normally?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 807883


Hint: The same as those that like catfish. See also Chitterlings (chit'lins).
Poor people do poor people things, and rich people do rich people things.

You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

when you rob Paul to give to Peter ... ... ... you will always get Peters support!

:Brieffromnativea:
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 825221
United States
12/01/2009 03:19 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
Nukes are always an option.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 831025
Canada
12/01/2009 03:21 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
measure the resonance frequencies of the carp bones/skull/membranes/tissues

broadcast intensely over those frequencies (with under/overtones) using SONAR in affected areas. Find the frequenc(ies) that drive the fish away, or better kill/beach it.

sorry about collateral damage.

I hear it works wonders on whales.

There is a barrier in place, but not working. Poor design.

If you google carp barrier it should come up.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 830974


this one? it's electric, not acoustic

'A $9 million electric Asian carp barrier built to keep these enormous invasive fish out of the Great Lakes was completed in 2006. But it was never turned on because of confusion over what agencies have jurisdiction over the project. I covered this story in 2005, when it looked like a solution was just about finished (see Electrical Barrier To Keep Asian Carp Out Of Great Lakes for more pictures and details). '

but

'High levels of underwater sound create a potential hazard to marine and amphibious animals as well as to human divers.[32][36] Guidelines for exposure of human divers and marine mammals to underwater sound are reported by the SOLMAR project of the NATO Undersea Research Centre[37]. Human divers exposed to SPL above 154 dB re 1 μPa in the frequency range 0.6 to 2.5 kHz are reported to experience changes in their heart rate or breathing frequency. Diver aversion to low frequency sound is dependent upon sound pressure level and center frequency.[38]'
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 807883
United States
12/01/2009 03:22 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
have a best recipe contest for that fish. to build a market for the thing.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 831263
United States
12/01/2009 03:24 PM
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Re: Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP
I can only help one person a day.

Today isn't your day...

Tomorrow ain't looking good either.

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