Problem Solvers Wanted ASAP

Never sorry, a commercial solution to anything before the complete and utter collapse for the economy of bullshit is, well, fuck it...

two words: CAT FOOD

Nets that only catch the bastards - and leave honest fish alone...

Hmmmmm...

Nice.

You could feed every cat on the planet with these things.

The problem with nets is that the fish tear them up. That, and they can jump right over them.

These are not your usual fish.

Who the fuck complains about fish jumping into your boat! That would be awesome, and if I got tired of it I would not go in the water.

coat the nets with time release tranquilizer solution when the fish nod off then haul em up.

Simple. Get bigger, more agressive fish to eat them.

Then let the bigger fish be your children's problem.

That's the way it's done.

Problem solved.

What do I win?

Sharks, with fricken laser beams attached to its head!!!!!

Ditto

Seriously though. Need to get the gator population up. Which means we need some real old fashioned global warming with some home grown genetic modification!

Kamikaze fish! That is nuts!! Would think this is a joke, if I did not see this on Discovery or something a year ago.

Absolutely crazy. Those are no large mouth bass I tell ya. (Where is that cool dude with the Bass on his car??)

The solution?

Not sure. Research question:

* What do they eat?
(If you can single out something that only they prefer, that may be a solution.)

* How and where do they breed?
(Do they prefer shallow places or what for breeding? Do they make nests or carve out areas like bass or sun fish?)

* Are there any know parasites that effect them?

etc

get them hooked on pop corn - they love that stuff

once hooked you can have them will follow you to a corral type set up area where you can just pick them our of water, then


two words: CAT FOOD

Right! And Fuck Up the stomachs of every fish in the Eco-System . . .

pace maker or old type crank telephone. shock them scoop them up. get a law passed for that fish only. won't stop them. but better than giving up. Creat a Market for them. Fed funds?? lot of people out of work. bounty on their heads?

Feed 'em to the hungry. Remember free cheese and butter?

Maybe the Chinese like to eat this fish...


they were too busy figuring out germ warfare for the people instead of these parasitic like fish-


typical

that was my next thought. Drop lic. requirement for that fish. Who eats that fish normally?

I fish Lake Michigan and am afraid in a few years it will go down the tubes.

Have fishing contests on the rivers and have prizes for the biggest caught and for getting the biggest wounds from them.

The bowfisherman have been doing a great job.

Make Fertilizer out of them.

measure the resonance frequencies of the carp bones/skull/membranes/tissues

broadcast intensely over those frequencies (with under/overtones) using SONAR in affected areas. Find the frequenc(ies) that drive the fish away, or better kill/beach it.

sorry about collateral damage.

I hear it works wonders on whales.

Make Sat. Carp day. Give prizes paid for by fishing lic. funds in that area. $1.00 from each lic. you would sell more lic. so people could compeat.??

THAT'S GOTTA BE THE WINNING IDEA!!! RIGHT ON!!!!

Do it county by county and a state wide largest prize monthly?

There is a barrier in place, but not working. Poor design.

If you google carp barrier it should come up.

Hint: The same as those that like catfish. See also Chitterlings (chit'lins).

Nukes are always an option.

this one? it's electric, not acoustic

'A $9 million electric Asian carp barrier built to keep these enormous invasive fish out of the Great Lakes was completed in 2006. But it was never turned on because of confusion over what agencies have jurisdiction over the project. I covered this story in 2005, when it looked like a solution was just about finished (see Electrical Barrier To Keep Asian Carp Out Of Great Lakes for more pictures and details). '

but

'High levels of underwater sound create a potential hazard to marine and amphibious animals as well as to human divers.[32][36] Guidelines for exposure of human divers and marine mammals to underwater sound are reported by the SOLMAR project of the NATO Undersea Research Centre[37]. Human divers exposed to SPL above 154 dB re 1 μPa in the frequency range 0.6 to 2.5 kHz are reported to experience changes in their heart rate or breathing frequency. Diver aversion to low frequency sound is dependent upon sound pressure level and center frequency.[38]'

have a best recipe contest for that fish. to build a market for the thing.

I can only help one person a day.

Today isn't your day...

Tomorrow ain't looking good either.