may dad died in my arms an hour ago.no sympathy needed but perspective wanted

Also I am prompted to address the comment made by "mother"

Old photos will help guide you-as to your age...also birth announcements in paper when and where you were born or hospital records birth records...at the hospital you were born


I am not sure why but if it were important to you you have already stated blood does not make the parent but still you are questioning...he has passed and whatever action in this you take will not hurt him or his feelings...


The fact that she chose to wound you to wound him strikes me as quite vindictive


True it may well be, but consider another point

maybe what she said is false...that also could be possible as her desire was to hurt him imho...so she would focus story on that...

the other consideration-sorry if I am intruding...
to definitively clear that-as he stated he was your father...he may of felt that way and from what you have written he served that role well-you are still alive and able to attempt to reach out in this time-if you desire to test-now IS THE TIME to definitiely do so-However...will it impact the legalities of the will-unpleasant at this time but something to consider...or require a sample or two of genetic material to accomplish test privately at your discretion-in some states this IS a factor-in my state adopted children can inherit and so on or other different cases-have unique characteristics applicable to the law...
something to consider if you are still wondering and would like to know-once he goes much farther this will become a more remote option...if you desire.




even at this place there are those of us who are real and have heart-regardless of our brusque nature sometimes...others are clearly dysfunctional and of limited experience-life occurs and even they have a hope of learning a semblance of compassion


take care
consider

My dad was 75 and blind. He disliked being helpless and he sat around most of the days. He was very unhappy.
when i was 15 my mom attempted suicide and blurted out over a table of regurgitated pills that he was not my bio father. i have or had until then seen him as my real father but my selfish crazy mother threw a wrench into the familial bond. Her story was that i was a bastard child and that the met at an air force function bingo game. they married shortly and if i can believe her i was three.
As a child a never felt particularly close to him but he always took care of me and treated me well. His name is on my birth certificate and he told me when i asked in a drunken stupor "are you me father" he said yes i am. Blood doesn't make a family and he has always been my dad. I love him and uncertain what i must do now. i am executor and totally don't know what that means
yesterday they screamed in from rock river to laramie hospital. he was lucid and joking when a i left him yesterday night, this morning when i went to see him he was in"over flow" i c u. when i came after work he was a alot less lucid, sayin don't drive drunk rick.. i never do and why do you have that gun. the diagnosis was appendicitis and apparently at his age he went septic about 2 hours ago although he wasn't totally lucid we communicated. i went down for a cig and soon was called back up because they said he was failing. i went in an he was pale. being a nurse i reads his monitor , bad and failing. he went flat line, but when i whispered in his ear that he was well loved and the best dad his heart went to thirty five, with no resp i told him i would take care of his cat osama (the terrorist it climbed higher. he soon became paler and perished.
i have guilt for going down to smoke.
i have desire that talking too an atheist that Jesus loves him no matter what time he accepts him matters.
so i fact i am lost without my dad. any perspectives are appreciated. now i have to figure out how to execute his will without my greedy , only caring for money brother wrecking the grieving process. may blessings in this time and wisdom rain down on my poor stupid being.
i know even asking for compassionate reasonable replies are going to vex me, but nonetheless i aswk

I lost my father less than a month ago..i am still dealing with it, though i only cried for a minute when i was alone one night...i should have cried more..i cannot explain why i have not reacted to his death more ...i wish i could have been like the other relatives and cried and wailed and wring their hands and hugged but i wasnt and it worries me...

copy-cat?

Thread: my fater died an hour ago. not looking for sympathy, just perspective

There's no need to feel guilty for going down to smoke. I'm a nurse and I pay attention to certain things: it seems a lot of people wait until their loved ones step out of the room to die.

Death is such a personal experience, and it's kind of hard to surrender to it when the people you love are crowded around you and crying.

My dad was 75 and blind. He disliked being helpless and he sat around most of the days. He was very unhappy.

Do you not love your step kids as a biological father would?

I feel sorry for you and I know how painful it is.

I know you will feel better soon.

There is another side, and it is much better than this,
When my mom was dying I asked her to get back to me
when she crossed over, and she sent me numerous
signs.

I could even hear her voice in my head directing me to
find certain things in our house.

So, don't despair.

Just know that the bond of caring you had with your Dad
will continue for eternity.

Don't feel bad for going down to smoke.
Lots of people's loved ones die when they
walk out of the room just for a few minutes.

Take care, and best wishes...

Sorry wrong post, I do apologise.