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UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL

 
SPIRALLING DEATH TOLL
User ID: 844121
Australia
12/18/2009 10:21 PM
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UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
WOKKA CHIKKA WOKKA CHIKKA WOKKA CHIKKA NEWSFLASH!!

The official death toll from the Norway Sky Spiral Incident has been updated by the Norwegian Government. We can now report that so far zero people have died of Giant Spiralitis.

The death toll is expected to spiral out of control as the spirals continue to disappear, spiralling mockingly from pictures on the internet. Scientists say that as many as zero people might eventually die from Giant Spiralitis.

Scientists at the brand new 66 squillion dollar Spiralattic Research Unit say that of course more funds, much more funds, are needed to be really sure. But one thing is for sure, more funding will be needed.

Head Scientist of the Spiralattic Research Unit, Professor Richard Head says that if Spiral Activity reaches a "Tipping Point", which he estimates at 2 spirals, the whole thing might spiral out of control in a Runaway Spiral Effect.

"The only way to be sure to avoid a Runaway Spiral Effect is to give us more funding so that we can make sure we don't reach a Tipping Point! Also, tax everything in the world with a so-called SPIRAL TAX to reduce Spiral Activity. That will help a lot, guaranteed," said Professor Head.

Professor Richard Head explained, "A lot of Spiral Deniers have been using Bad Science to try to mislead people into thinking that Spirals are natural and not caused by lack of Spiral Tax. Our computer models conclusively show that unless we fully implement a Spiral Tax of 30% of everything, we'll be destroyed by Spirals in a slow and painful process."

"Let me tell you more about what that will be like," Dr Head said. "We have sophisticated equipment set up which shows that a huge lack of Spiral Tax is causing a destabilizatoin of the Spiral Research Funding Field Generators. That sounds pretty serious wouldnt you say? Let me put it in a way even a child could understand: Spirals are bad, mmmkay? Spirals will kill all the puppies and kitties!! And mommy and daddy too will drown in Rising Spiral Levels".

PLEASE DONATE THIRTY PERCENT OF EVERYTHING FOR SPIRAL RESEARCH. OR ELSE WE TAKE IT ANYWAY. UR CHOICE>
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 842683
United States
12/18/2009 10:26 PM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
i think they should make mandatory vaccines.
CRYSTAL in MATRIX

User ID: 501458
United States
12/18/2009 10:28 PM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
Fails to report how many may have been saved!

Just saying!!
"No guts, no glory!"
Fhirinne

User ID: 623339
United Kingdom
12/18/2009 10:30 PM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
i think they should make mandatory vaccines.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 842683


anyone who saw it now has spiralitus and we are running out of time, like the OP says this could spiral out of control
You are the CEO of your own wellness. You need to take back your health from the disease-care system
PerpLexedededed

User ID: 837938
United States
12/18/2009 10:30 PM

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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
66 squillion, lol
My nickname is Eileen Toodaleft.
nanuke

User ID: 815174
United States
12/18/2009 10:37 PM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
nice.

:fibspinat:
~you are love
~the key...it's almost time.

!poke the bulge!

~here is my hand...it can be closed like a fist...or open to hold...yet it is still my hand.
~Today is cancelled...due to lack of interest.
~Without order nothing exists. Without chaos nothing evolves.

ac 618285:
~"without both order and chaos, the illusion would not be able to continue.
one day in the far away future, order will submit to chaos and the entire illusion will vanish."
--------------------------------
:nan1:
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 844121
Australia
12/18/2009 10:43 PM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
Fails to report how many may have been saved!

Just saying!!
 Quoting: CRYSTAL in MATRIX

If even one life is saved, IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 824579
United States
12/18/2009 10:45 PM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
LONG
LIVE
TEH SPIRALLLLL
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 844290
United States
12/18/2009 10:57 PM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
this just in, new dance move dubbed "the spiral" has teens spinning for hours

leaving them in a pool of their own vomit as they fall
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 844121
Australia
12/18/2009 11:01 PM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
This is Jane Doe reporting for the BBC from outside the Spirallatic Research Unit. The Spiral Research Scientists are arriving to work in their flying cars for a normal work day. Teams of people are spreading fresh rose petals for the cars to land on.

I'll be going inside later for a 10 minute meeting with the Multimedia Human Interactions Officer. The agenda says "SPIRALS ARE BAD!!!" and then follows a detailed... well I'd have to call it a menu of the food to be served at the meeting. It seems to be rather a lot of food for a ten minute meeting, and in my 14 years as a journalist I've never been served fresh sturgeon caviar. Still, it's a hard job but somebody's got to do it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 844350
Australia
12/19/2009 12:27 AM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
Jane Doe for the BBC. (munch munch munch slurp) That's pretty good caviar Igor! And the champagne is excellent!

Well listeners as I said I'd keep you updated on the death toll from the Spiral. Good news I've been offered a job at the SRU. I get my own flying car, all the caviar I can eat... sorry BBC you just can't compete.

So keep watching the skiiiiiieeess!! Spirals are out there folks and they are DEADLY!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 844350
Australia
12/19/2009 04:21 AM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
Four hundred people in hospital in Norway today did not die from Spiralitis. They are being added to the list of people SAVED probably by the fast action of the Spirallatic Research Unit.

ALL HAIL THE SPIRAL!!! SPIRAL POWER!
Doomorrow

User ID: 838774
United States
12/19/2009 04:28 AM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
suck my big, fat spiral
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 844436
Pakistan
12/19/2009 04:32 AM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
LOL AWESOME OP! I couldn't stop laughing :p
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 720829
United States
12/19/2009 04:41 AM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
I heard the death toll is expected to triple.
How unfortunate.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 718510
United States
12/19/2009 04:44 AM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
Very creative... Well done!

This SPIRAL might be some cosmic harbinger of DOOM, but in the meantime, it certainly has been a riot MAOCKING the silly thing!

LOL
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 834001
Canada
12/19/2009 04:46 AM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
LOL! That's so funny and I'm glad no one was injured brother ;P I especially like the scientific name "Spiralitus"; it's very original!

Peace and blessings,

Tony
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 810049
United States
12/19/2009 05:12 AM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
Look for Al Whore's new movie, "An Inconvenient Spiral".
9teen.47™

User ID: 844422
United Kingdom
12/19/2009 05:28 AM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
...................................doom
.............................................................​.......spiral2009

Last Edited by 9teen.47™ on 12/19/2009 05:30 AM
Zec 12:3 And in that day will I make Jerusalem a burdensome stone for all people: all that burden themselves with it shall be cut in pieces, though all the people of the earth be gathered together against it.
Psa 9:17 The wicked shall be turned into hell, [and] all the nations that forget God.
Jer 6:2 I have likened the daughter of Zion to a comely and delicate [woman].
STOCK UP NOW. You should have at least 6 months worth of basics for every member of your household. Stay away from crowds when trouble starts, do not forget water storage, tobacco is worth more than gold or silver, and be kind to hungry children.
Galaxy

User ID: 842566
Netherlands
12/19/2009 05:35 AM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
We are in big trouble when the spiral mutates..
Luctor et Emergo.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 844350
Australia
12/19/2009 06:21 AM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
LOL! That's so funny and I'm glad no one was injured brother ;P I especially like the scientific name "Spiralitus"; it's very original!

Peace and blessings,

Tony
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 834001


Oh yes ha ha ha Tony. You just relax and go to sleep. NO WAIT TONY WAKE UP. SPIRALS ARE STALKING YOu> YOU CAN"T AFFORD TO SLEEP NOW OR SPIRALS WILL GET YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!!!


ALready in Norway, it is possible that as many as seven people may have fallen asleep and had weird dreams about the spiral. SURE WHILE THERE IS ONE SPIRAL WE CAN MAKE JOKES!!

HA HA HA SPIRLA!!! But if we get another spiral!!! TIPPING POINT!!!!11 YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE!!!!1

PLASE DONTATE TO SPIRAL RESEARCH!!!! 1800-SPIRAL!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 843663
Australia
12/19/2009 06:33 AM
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Re: UPDATED DEATH TOLL FROM SPIRAL
WOKKA CHIKKA WOKKA CHIKKA WOKKA CHIKKA NEWSFLASH!!

The official death toll from the Norway Sky Spiral Incident has been updated by the Norwegian Government. We can now report that so far zero people have died of Giant Spiralitis.

The death toll is expected to spiral out of control as the spirals continue to disappear, spiralling mockingly from pictures on the internet. Scientists say that as many as zero people might eventually die from Giant Spiralitis.

Scientists at the brand new 66 squillion dollar Spiralattic Research Unit say that of course more funds, much more funds, are needed to be really sure. But one thing is for sure, more funding will be needed.

Head Scientist of the Spiralattic Research Unit, Professor Richard Head says that if Spiral Activity reaches a "Tipping Point", which he estimates at 2 spirals, the whole thing might spiral out of control in a Runaway Spiral Effect.

"The only way to be sure to avoid a Runaway Spiral Effect is to give us more funding so that we can make sure we don't reach a Tipping Point! Also, tax everything in the world with a so-called SPIRAL TAX to reduce Spiral Activity. That will help a lot, guaranteed," said Professor Head.

Professor Richard Head explained, "A lot of Spiral Deniers have been using Bad Science to try to mislead people into thinking that Spirals are natural and not caused by lack of Spiral Tax. Our computer models conclusively show that unless we fully implement a Spiral Tax of 30% of everything, we'll be destroyed by Spirals in a slow and painful process."

"Let me tell you more about what that will be like," Dr Head said. "We have sophisticated equipment set up which shows that a huge lack of Spiral Tax is causing a destabilizatoin of the Spiral Research Funding Field Generators. That sounds pretty serious wouldnt you say? Let me put it in a way even a child could understand: Spirals are bad, mmmkay? Spirals will kill all the puppies and kitties!! And mommy and daddy too will drown in Rising Spiral Levels".

PLEASE DONATE THIRTY PERCENT OF EVERYTHING FOR SPIRAL RESEARCH. OR ELSE WE TAKE IT ANYWAY. UR CHOICE>
 Quoting: SPIRALLING DEATH TOLL 844121

don`t you ever stop what you got, my keyboard swimming in coffee and i pro hart the monitor thanks for the laugh

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