Twelve Months of Obama -- Christmas Carol

For his first lie in office, Obama said he'd be
A model of transparency.

On his second day in office, Obama let us see Two brand-new czars
And no sign of that transparency.

For his third lie in office, Obama said, "Trust me,
Three million jobs,"
Dozens of czars,
But no sign of that transparency

For his fourth gaffe in office, he made apology
To all the world,
But no new jobs,
To many czars,
And no hint of that transparency

After five weeks in office, the trend was plain to see:
Five dates with wife,
Insults to the Queen
Wrong gifts to Brown
It's Bush's fault
And a tanking economy

After seating his cohorts, Obama told TV,
"I'll shut down Gitmo!
Dates with Michelle,
Insults to the Brits,
Bowing to scum,
Lost the Olympics,
It's Bush's fault,
And the Jews can take care of themselves."

For his seventh mess in office, Obama said, "Let's see:
How 'bout cash for clunkers,
Release the detainees,
Fly Air Force One,
Bow to a king,
Win a Nobel Prize,
Borrow from the Chinese,
It's all Bush's fault,
And the answer is still Kumbaya."

After eight weeks of hope, change, and bold audacity,
Dems attacked the right wing,
People and tea parties,
Czars would not pay taxes,
I Am The One,
Pardons to Islam,
Beer summit,
Cap and Trade,
It's STILL Bush's fault,
"And we need single payer health care."

On the ninth tier of hell did Obama next decree:
"Universal Health Care!
Let's shut down Rush Limbaugh!
More Latino judges!
Damn the Constitution!
Help me, Karl Marx!
Screw Afghanistan!
Polls don't count!
Biden is O.K.
Bush is still to blame,
And we don't need those Republicans."

At the tenth grade of learning, Obama's state party,
Crashers hit the spotlight,
There was egg on faces,
Desiree's not guilty,
Bush is not the villain,
Late night shows are cruel,
Gibbs is tongue-tied,
This ain't fun no more,
Ratings stink,
Health Care's down the tubes,
Unemployment's at ten per cent.

In his eleventh hour of tenure, Obama takes a B
For his performance
Achieving nothing,
Smiling at the cameras,
Bowing to the tyrants,
Snubbing loyal allies,
Mortgaging the future,
Discouraging soldiers,
Faux Nobel Prize,
Global Warming's shamed,
Mike Moore's pissed,
Stimulus struck out,
And Iran gave us the raspberry.

At the twelfth hour of year one, now spending is a spree
Twelve trillion debit
Laws made in secret,
Nobody's read them,
"Just give me something!
We can fix it later.
Legacy's at stake here,
SOTU's coming,
Soros, call me!!!"
This is hope and change,
In full stride,
At Christmas time,
In a f*cked up economy.