An idea that pops up in my logical inquiries with myself

I often have an idea pop into my head, that idea being that hey, this life is just a blank canvas: write what you want. I have read a lot of literature, and in this case, I will include "do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law" as a main focal point. To me, this only means exactly what it says, which is: do what you want, there is no cosmic power stopping you. I often think of life as a huge playground, in fact all of reality is a huge playground as well. People talk of ascension often here... and I have to wonder- to what? What great purpose does being kind to others serve? I am sure I will get insulted in all kinds of ways, as that is what happens in this existence whenever some profound thought is professed to the people.

This isn't to say that an idea containing only the thought that if we, as souls, do indeed incarnate endlessly, then what message is to be learned besides, "yeah, it's pretty much the same story over and over again, but this time you've got GREEN eyes." What's the purpose of all beings getting together and having a great mushy I-love-you session?

All the spirituality ends up being a big pyramid scheme, much like everything else in life. Of course, if you are in any way religious you pretty much are unavailable to have such musings, as simply thinking about the possibilities provided by infinity are demonic and sacrilegious. Religions are like conspiracy theories: they work entirely well within their own created contexts, i.e. in religion's sake, Christianity here as the example, if you find something that goes against what is said in the bible, then satan put it there to confuse you. In the case of conspiracies, it goes along the lines of: the government denies this because it's true, this is the real document and the one they show is doctored, etc. etc.

In essence, as I have jumped from one thought to another, this is the pervading idea that I cannot shake: hey, it's all just for kicks man, just enjoy yourself. There is no truth, so either everyone is lying or telling the truth, whichever way makes you feel better. Life has meaning or it doesn't, whatever makes it easier for you to continue making up some story.

In the end, I have to think, "fuck it, what else would I be doing anyway?"