I have a big dog
it's ears are floppy
when it wags it's tail
it's butt goes all hoppy

His name is Edgar,
you know, like Allen Poe
his hair is real bushy
I once put him in a show.

He ended up humping
all the dogs in the line
Many people laughed
and said oh that's just fine

But when he ate the judges flowers
and chewed the winning poodle's ears,
I couldn't believe all the entrants
faces were covered with tears.

At the end of the show
they took Edgar to the dog pound
and locked him in there for weeks
-all he did was lay on the ground.

Then he got sick
because he ate bad meat
Why oh why did Edgar die?
He was the best dog you could ever meet!