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What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 860022
United States
01/08/2010 12:48 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
Called new boyfriend by old boyfriend's name in the middle of sex.

Very clearly.


Everything just sorta stopped...


= (
ILoveLucy
User ID: 808945
United States
01/08/2010 12:55 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
My husband had just introduced me to his boss
at the summer picnick. It was an important new
job for my mate, so I was trying to say all the
right things. Later in the evening there was a
dance and the boss was all dressed up in his cowboy
outfit. He joined us at our table but I didn't
recognize him! My husband was embarrassed and said
to me--"You recognize my boss, don't you honey?"
I quickly realized I had made a social error and
said: "Oh, yes, hello Mr. Smith....I didn't
recognize you with all your clothes on!" Everyone
just stared at me and I excused myself to the
girl's room!
Martian Princess (OP)

User ID: 358376
United States
01/08/2010 01:01 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
My husband had just introduced me to his boss
at the summer picnick. It was an important new
job for my mate, so I was trying to say all the
right things. Later in the evening there was a
dance and the boss was all dressed up in his cowboy
outfit. He joined us at our table but I didn't
recognize him! My husband was embarrassed and said
to me--"You recognize my boss, don't you honey?"
I quickly realized I had made a social error and
said: "Oh, yes, hello Mr. Smith....I didn't
recognize you with all your clothes on!" Everyone
just stared at me and I excused myself to the
girl's room!
 Quoting: ILoveLucy 808945

lol that's too funny


The comment about the retarded animal made me laugh

Well I'm glad to see i'm not the only one who suffers from foot-in-mouth syndrome!

Last Edited by Martian Princess on 01/08/2010 01:01 PM
Martian Princess (OP)

User ID: 358376
United States
01/11/2010 01:12 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
I HAD to come look for this thread once again because of something in an email today. I work for a company which headquarters are in the UK. My boss' boss needed a document from me and he knows I'm very busy so he said something like: "I know you are busy and hate to put pleasure on you but I really need it." Wow, I had to read that twice...
***REALITYMATRIX***

User ID: 764070
United States
01/11/2010 01:17 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
When I was in 3rd grade, I told my teacher that her pussy smells like a dumptruck. Just being honest. That didn't go over so well.

Last Edited by *REALITY MATRIX* on 01/11/2010 01:18 PM
SEADOG

User ID: 662524
Canada
01/11/2010 01:18 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
I do
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

-Robert A. Heinlein
Zerocyber

User ID: 648354
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01/11/2010 01:19 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
"Is that why when I squeeze them they feel empty?" I asked my Friend standing next to me, a little too loud.

In a room full of family members.
For a week, they thought I was gay.
I was actually talking about my truck's tires... One of them had a nail in it and I had missed it and couldn't figure out where the air was going. The friend is not gay either, but is a proclaim-nonbreeder (doesn't want to have sex, because he fears he may have kids, go figure).

I also answered a question from my sister to my nephew:

Nephew (Cameron, 15) was poking my much younger Nephew (Josh, 11). My sister asks him, "What did I say about touching children?"
I answer, "It's pedophilia and it needs to stop."

Best christmas ever.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 838638
Canada
01/11/2010 01:21 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
my friends had a miscarriage last year, and i didn't hear about it. so i called the following week and screamed in the phone " was it a boy or girl!!"


: (
Phallusy

User ID: 729370
United States
01/11/2010 01:23 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
"I love you"
I think EAT is a pretty cool guy, eh predicts earthquakes and doesn't afraid of anything
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 838638
Canada
01/11/2010 01:23 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
I asked a striper for change
 Quoting: bobnightman

you win ! lol
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 739533
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01/11/2010 01:25 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
I made a date with a phone operator I had a nice chat with, and when she came to the door, butt ugly, my first words were, "Oh no!" Didn't mean to say that out loud...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 831992
United States
01/11/2010 01:26 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
When I was in 3rd grade, I told my teacher that her pussy smells like a dumptruck. Just being honest. That didn't go over so well.
 Quoting: ***REALITYMATRIX***


oh wow...chuckle

hf
Nothing Is True

User ID: 862171
United Kingdom
01/11/2010 01:54 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
I was at VERY a posh garden party last year. Stately home job - you know the type. People were milling about, chatting, drinking champagne and eating canapes etc. All sorts of people were there - The great and the good.

I spotted a couple of my associates chatting to some people I didn't know, so I went over to join the conversation. So there I was with my two colleagues and this lady and gentleman - both aged about 70 or so. Like I say, I didn't know them, but it turns out that these were VERY influential people for us at the time.

So...The lady's standing to my right, we're all making small talk and smiling away to each other, when out of the corner of my eye, I see the lady about to take a bite of her canape (smoked salmon on a little square of brown bread with a blob of caviare on the top). I felt compelled to look what she was eating - don't know why, I just did. So I turned to look at her - smiling politely - you know.

This is where the seconds started to stretch into hours..

As she brought the thing to her lips..JUST as she was about to take a bite...I saw a thick, curly grey hair - sitting on top of her canape!!! Pube alert!!!

What to do??!! 'Think boy, think!!'. I couldn't let her eat it!

I figured the best thing to do ....There wasn't time to say 'stop!' or anything.

'The best thing to do'...lol ....The VERY best thing to do was to swoop in and grab the hair!

Like James Bond. I planned - in this split-second to raise my right hand, swoop onto the canape, grab the hair with a deft move of my finger and thumb and then off and down to the left. She'd hardly ever know!! I could even tell her there was a wasp! One swift move..

So I did it.

My right hand swooped over the canape. My finger and thumb deftly grabbed the offending hair and off they went, down and to the left! Only trouble was....








Her lip came along too!

Yes. It was attached.

We never did get that funding..


True.
Everything is permitted..
Fletch

User ID: 824929
United States
01/11/2010 01:59 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
my old manager (a woman) to another coworker woman: "I don't know, i've never faught a girl before"

Me: *walks in to throw out some trash* "it's really not that hard" *walks away*


stunned.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 832190
United States
01/11/2010 02:11 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
Great thread!

I have said more stupid stuff in my lifetime....but one that stands out:

I am at a conference for the gambling industry and get to the breakfast buffet at 8:45. Breakfast goes from 8-9 so they say...but at 8:45 there are empty pans and very little selection. This is a pretty posh place so I wasn't afraid to let it be known that the selection was lacking.

As I am sitting down at a table where a coworker is and a waiter asks if he could get me something....I say, "Yeah, some breakfast would be nice. Who would have known I would have to SCALP to get some scrambled eggs and bacon."

Well....along with my coworker, on the OTHER side of the table who I had failed to take notice of in my rage of hunger, were the leaders of a Native American tribe from Oklahoma who were there representing their interests.

Whoops!
Zerocyber

User ID: 648354
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01/11/2010 02:25 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
Oh yeah, I have another one, but it wasn't what I said, but what I didn't do-

Me and some buddies went out to eat at a high priced restaraunt. They were happy about moving and wanted to celebrate and I happened to be there (after helping them move a whole house... GAH!!) so they dragged me along. Well, I had never eaten at any place other than a Golden Corral (Buffet, not high priced). So, we order our food, and I'm not that hungry (after working, I'm not like other people. My hunger disappears) so I order a small chicken italian thing with some other food. I didn't think anything of it and just ate the chicken and didn't touch the rest.


My buddies are laughing and carrying on and all of a sudden this MASSIVE like 6 foot 7 guy dressed all in black with an apron walks over to us with a blank stare directly at my plate (still covered in food).

I'm thinking, "Oh crap, are we about to be thrown out? WTF is going on?"

The big dude gets this almost scared look on his face and starts asking me all sorts of questions about the food, if it's good and if I wasn't satisfied... I'm stunned. Just shocked by what is going on... I'm sitting there with this massive man bent over me, asking (almost terrified) if the food was alright. As it turned out, the high priced place had NEVER had ANYONE hate their food, and thought they have screwed up big time when I wasn't eating and mistook me (somehow) for some news reporter or something that reports on how good food is at places like this.

Well, I cleared it up, they didn't charge me for anything of the food (which was awesome) and even offered my buddies extra dessert. I did not expect any of that, to be honest. Again, my first time ever eating at a place that high priced.

One last thing. Best freaking Chicken I have ever eaten. Too bad I don't live near any major cities...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 643077
United States
01/11/2010 02:29 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
"I should be wearing velcro strapped shoes"

I said this after making a stupid mistake implying that I can do simple tasks such as tying my shoes.

Little did I realize at the time but the person I said it to, was ACTUALLY WEARING VELCRO STRAPPED SHOES!!!

Plus he was kind of my boss.
Babe in a Bunker

User ID: 847423
United States
01/11/2010 02:32 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
Won a stuffed animal at a county fair... came home, my mother asked me what I got and I said "a stuffed beaver"...

awkward silence, snickering began and I quickly locked myself in my room.
Well it seems so real I can see it
And it seems so real I can feel it
And it seems so real I can taste it
And it seems so real I can hear it
So why can't I touch it?
So why can't I touch it?


Twatter: [link to twitter.com]
Lil Miss Trouble

User ID: 599008
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01/11/2010 02:34 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
I asked a blind man what color hangers he wanted.
My shop~ [link to www.artfire.com]

There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 858553
United States
01/11/2010 02:41 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
I asked a striper for change
 Quoting: bobnightman

Was it a candy striper?
ZTE

User ID: 779511
United States
01/11/2010 02:42 PM

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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
I asked a blind man what color hangers he wanted.
 Quoting: Lil Miss Trouble



Back in high school, I had a dispute with a friend over what the specific color of my tie I was wearing at a party, so I went to her dad and asked him what color my tie was to settle the dispute. He stared at me for a few seconds, then my friend leaned over and whispers to me, "My dad's color blind."

It wasn't the most-awkward thing I've said, but it was pretty bad at the time.
If you can justify killing one man, you can justify killing every man.

The Greatest Lie is the one never told, but assumed.

History isn't a measure of our successes, but the compilation of our mistakes.
SunDawnn

User ID: 835300
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01/11/2010 02:43 PM
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Re: What's the most awkward thing you've ever said?
Obama won!
Facilitating The Flow

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