lol, ahhh, you sound so much like me. That sense of uncomfortableness, a distancing really even with friends though they get drawn to us. I'll reveal bits and pieces personally but never the sum total because that defies the normative expectation of human variation. It's easier to do so here because of that sense of anonymity (the ones most likely to know who we actually are probably already know who we are lol) and commonality. Here, we gain understanding and acceptance without worry of condemnation, fear, panic, or blind ignorance. My own flesh and blood has looked at me fearfully because of who I am--not due to any threat of violence or insanity.

I still give my $.02 anyways though, even when I am certain that they cannot comprehend. I think that our ancient world equivalent would have been oracles or sages. Others instinctively have flocked to us for guidance because they sense that difference (and perhaps another reason why we, instinctively, tend to be reclusive). I do agree that they were trying to figure out the how of things. What I described in response to the image of the E8 is the what of things. The totality of life is interconnected. Another way of looking at it is like phone lines. We just happen to have a way to pick up the phone.

Like you, I could never do this unless I was utterly behind the cause nor would I be capable of doing it for money. Part of this is simply the inconsistency of it. For me, I have to have my entire will behind it and there has to be a pressing need. Someone said earlier in the thread that, post the program, their ESP (hate that word) needed glasses. I can kind of commiserate but I'm not so sure that it was the program that diminished or if I just learned to not do it for fear of being further isolated from others. Using it and seeing that look of fear is not pleasant, especially when my deepest desire has been normalcy and a sense of belonging.