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Message Subject Were You Part Of The "Mentally Gifted Minds" Program In California Scools back in the 70's?
Poster Handle Anonymous Coward
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hey...i am the person who posted about my partner killing himself recently. this was attempt #4, starting in may, i went through 3 attempts with him. i really want to understand, and i know this thread was important to him...so if ANYONE can give me real leads to info on the mind control, etc., i'd really appreciate it. i'd like to write an article.

also i am only on page 7 of this thread BUT, everything you guys are talking about are things i do/know/etc....what's that? lots of resonation going on. the books, the reading...i grew up in california, off grid, in the redwoods, i did all of the things you guys were asked to do but i did it on my own because i had no media or anything else...the prolonged dreaming, training myself to hypnotise myself, lots of it...i am sure i will find more as i go.

i have a very high IQ as well.

please help me find the info to put together to understand what he went through so i can do something positive. if i don't, i'm going to implode. he was so kind, gentle, good, talented, and amazing. he was everything good, and he couldn't live with what they did to him. here is his letter to his mom after attempt #2:

Mom,

Why is it I cannot get any acknowledgment on what I went through in that MGM/GATE program in elementary school? Why did you not want to talk about it on the phone before? Did it seem like something was strange about it at the time I was in it? I only ask these questions because I cannot stop seeking more answers as to why they did what they did to me. I was a different child, a different person before they did what they did. It is only within the last few years that I have recovered so many memories and have discovered who I was before. However, the mental trauma and sexual abuse they performed on me still leaves me shattered because as much as I want to recover fully who I was, the damage has been done. I am trying to heal, but they do not want me to heal. They fear me (and others like me who went through this) recovering all of these memories and recovering ourselves and working towards exposing their “programs” and seeking justice.

I didn’t ask to be part of all this, but it happened. And, I am sorry to have to tell you about the sexual abuse. It explains so much about why I thought that J was sexually abused and why I thought M was sexually abused by that older neighbor guy he used to hang out with when he was a kid and we lived on M St. I was projecting the fact that I was abused and I didn’t know it because I had compartmentalized it deep within my mind. It also explains why I have always protected kids (especially my own) because I know what these sick people are capable of. I have opened this compartmentalization of these memories as much as I can. It has been devastating.

Again, I am sorry to have to tell you all this. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I just need you to know what has been going on. I have tried to deal with all this, not talk about it, keep it to myself, and the last six months have been even more trying than it was last year. As for Intel and all of that, I experienced there what I experienced. I do not know why the CIA watches me and why they brought me there. I feel it was to shatter my mind further, make me go insane, scare me with death threats, because, again, they do not want people coming forward about the MGM/GATE programs which they were behind from the beginning. I refused to allow them to torture me further or to make me bow down before them as be a part of their sick plans for the future. I was able to let go of fear of death and become closer to God through all the crap they put me through. God was there for me and gave me solace through it all. I know that God is there and I will only walk with him, towards the light and the truth.

I know this all sounds “crazy” and doubt if anyone would believe it. It is sort of like the thing I went through with T’s regressive autism. No one around me believed that the diet would work, but it did because I also asked God at the time for guidance (while holding T in the park and crying out to God). God led me along the path to the answers and the diet. It is the same with this situation, except I do not have answers on how to make myself better and escape from this “prison” the CIA has constructed around me and around everyone in the U.S. That is what is most devastating is realizing you are up against these sick people who control so much about our lives, who monitor our communications, who are within police departments, who are within the justice system, who control the main stream media. I guess my only hope is continued faith that God will do something. If not, my place is in heaven because I cannot take it anymore.

This is where I have been and am at. I tried to kill myself last Friday by eating over 30 woody nightshade berries and they did nothing to me, not a single thing. I do not know why that happened. I should have had some symptoms, yet I did not. I know killing myself will be devastating to those around me, those that love me. However, I cannot continue suffering. Yes, it may be selfish, I understand that, but I am doing it because I cannot take the suffering anymore. I wish I was stronger, I wish I could ignore what they did to me. It is like being trapped and having no way out. I cannot find joy in anything. I cannot connect with my body anymore because I feel God call me and want to be at peace and be with God. I am sorry to have to say this, but it needed to be said, all of it.

Please forgive me for saying all of this. I just wanted you and dad to know, so you can let S, T, and F know how much I love them, how much I wanted for a different life for them with me in it, how I wanted to see them grow up and become adults, how I wanted to be a dad for them always. I have to take solace that I had the time I did with them. They will hopefully always remember that and remember how much their father loves them. I love you and dad too. You have done so much for me, and I am sorry to let you down so much. I tried not to, tried to battle through.

Gus
 
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