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I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day

 
uber tasty and delicious
User ID: 864570
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01/14/2010 02:59 AM
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I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day. Personally, I have a brightly colored tissue box stuffed full of Valentines. I'm also in several, meaningful relationships, as well as a few purely sexual ones; not
to mention one fairly abusive one with the 14 year old runaway chained up in the basement.

OK, feel bad is probably too strong a term. I could really care less about you. But my job is spreading joy so that's what I'd like to do.

Valentines Day always reminds me what a stupid place full of suckers the world really is. I don't understand why they have a holiday dedicated to love. They should have a holiday dedicated to hate. Hate is so much better
than love. Love is bullshit. Most people go their whole life without being loved by anyone, and without loving anyone back. But hate is just the opposite. Everyone is hated, and everyone has tons of people that they
hate.

Everyone is always confused about love. Do I love him? Is it puppy love or true love? I love you, but I'm just not in love with you. Who do I blame for this? I blame Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. I think they should be
drawn and quartered in the town square. But then they should sew them back together but scramble up the parts so they would be these two crazy patchwork one breasted/half dicked/half pussied Julia Roberts/ Hugh Grant creatures. That would be awesome. And while they're at it they should hack up Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. Just hack them up and feed them to the kids.

But back to the hate. Hate is so beautiful and so pure. There's no confusion, there's no question. Do I really hate him? Yes, you do. Is it puppy hate or true hate? It's true, true, deep hate. I hate you, but I'm not in hate with you? Oh you're in hate with me alright you stupid mother
fucker. If ever something deserved to be celebrated, it's an International Day of Hate.

I propose Yadsenit N'elav, the anti-Valentine's Day. I think we should make Barack Obamas' birthday, August 4th, an international holiday to celebrate hate. A day dedicated to telling everyone you hate to fuck off. On Yadsenit N'elav you do not send people cards. Fuck you Hallmark, you're
not getting a dime.

Do I have to teach you people how to hate? On Yadsenit N'elav you don't give people anything. Instead, you take something nice from the people you hate. It doesn't have to be expensive; perhaps you take something of sentimental value. Is there anything better than seeing someone you hate
unhappy?

What about the flowers and candy you say? Valentine's Day has flowers and candy. Fine. Go to the yard of someone you hate and dig up all of their flowers. Happy? Eat a box of expensive chocolates and then stick your finger down your throat and Mary-Kate that chocolate right back into the
box. Give that to somebody you hate. Pour it out in their car.

The best thing about making a holiday about hate is it's a great way to avoid getting in trouble for being the miserable cunt you truly are. When your boss, or your teacher, or the police start to give you problems, you
just tell them, "I'm celebrating my holiday you fuckbag! What are you the fucking Taliban?" Nobody wants to be compared to the Taliban and they will let you go on your way.

So go find Cupid and shove his quiver full of arrows up his ass. If you can't find Cupid, any winged baby will do. Just be sure and go out and spread the hate. You know you have plenty to go around, so don't be stingy about it.
EpicFail

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01/14/2010 02:59 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
y_sad
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"Hold to forgiveness, command what is right; but turn away from the ignorant." ~[7:199]
:palestine1::occupation::quran1::hamas1::israel1::​ahmadineja:
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Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2010 03:01 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
Hate is easy, love is hard.
You must be very weak.
Winningjob

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01/14/2010 03:01 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
Isn't valentines day just like any other day that is considered a "marketing holiday" OP?

I mean sure birthdays, VD, Mother's day ect are nice, but isn't it about moving products or services?

That being said, I hope you and everyone reading has a wonderful day EVERYDAY and continues to learn, teach and find love amongst friends, family and always strive to make TODAY your best as there is no tomorrow and you are NOT getting back yesterday!
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2010 03:05 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
you all got aids anyways
Hillcrest

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01/14/2010 03:12 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
you are NOT getting back yesterday!
 Quoting: Winningjob


and that's FINAL
Water always wins. :sun:
uber tasty and delicious (OP)
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01/14/2010 03:14 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
I hope you and everyone reading has a wonderful day EVERYDAY and continues to learn, teach and find love amongst friends, family and always strive to make TODAY your best as there is no tomorrow and you are NOT getting back yesterday!
 Quoting: Winningjob


People will often tell you to live for today and follow your dreams. This is terrible advice . You will never achieve your dreams. Yes, it's true that I did. But let's face it; you're not me are you?

Setting your mind on something is not going to make it happen. You can do anything if you set your mind to it? This is one of the biggest lies since, "I won't cum in your mouth.", "I have that other kind of AIDS." or "I was just standing here stroking my dick, minding my own business but your sister won't stop backing into it".

If you try to have a wonderful day EVERYDAY and continue to learn, teach and find love amongst friends, family and always strive to make TODAY your best as there is no tomorrow you're going to waste a lot of time. I suggest that instead you do something every day that makes you happy, or at least distracts you from your miserable existence, like posting on GLP for instance.
Winningjob

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01/14/2010 03:19 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
you are NOT getting back yesterday!


and that's FINAL
 Quoting: Hillcrest

lol
Winningjob

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01/14/2010 03:25 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
People will often tell you to live for today and follow your dreams. This is terrible advice . You will never achieve your dreams. Yes, it's true that I did. But let's face it; you're not me are you?

Setting your mind on something is not going to make it happen. You can do anything if you set your mind to it? This is one of the biggest lies since, "I won't cum in your mouth.", "I have that other kind of AIDS." or "I was just standing here stroking my dick, minding my own business but your sister won't stop backing into it".

If you try to have a wonderful day EVERYDAY and continue to learn, teach and find love amongst friends, family and always strive to make TODAY your best as there is no tomorrow you're going to waste a lot of time. I suggest that instead you do something every day that makes you happy, or at least distracts you from your miserable existence, like posting on GLP for instance.
 Quoting: uber tasty and delicious 864570

I certainly respect your thoughts and opinions OP and I am not going to tell you that you are right or that you are wrong..that is not the point.

If someone reads between the line of what you and what I both posted, they will hopefully find what works for them.

Maybe if I said be HAPPY today and do what makes YOU happy (in general) you would see where I am coming from. Dreams change and SHOULD as we as humans change. I think one thing I didn't make clear about living today is that I believe in no regrets...say what you have to say and do what you want and try even if you fail as REGRET is worse than not trying for many. I mean in personal or interpersonal relationships, hobbies, careers ect.

Maybe we can not have a horrible or terrific day everyday, but it is after all ours and ours alone to experience and maybe learn from, grow and share!

Many of my dreams have come true, but it wasn't easy and like many I have learned that it is important to have a realistic approach to what it is that makes us happy; be it getting a degree, becoming an expert in a field or finding love...it will be different for all!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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01/14/2010 04:02 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
And so it begins...damned
Winningjob

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01/14/2010 04:02 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
And so it begins...damned
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 864570

Bwahahaha
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2010 04:03 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
I feel bad for you when you eventually realize life is not all about you revolving around another person.
And you will waste all that time......
Damn!
Winningjob

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01/14/2010 04:10 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
I feel bad for you when you eventually realize life is not all about you revolving around another person.
And you will waste all that time......
Damn!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 839198



[link to www.youtube.com]
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2010 04:16 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
chuckle
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2010 08:54 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
that is a start....
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2010 08:55 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
Wasn´t Valentine´s day Feb. 14th?
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2010 08:56 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
dude alexs birthday is next month!
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2010 09:01 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
Hate is easy, love is hard.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 792499

Thats a HUGE crock of shit. It takes A LOT of energy to hate someone or people. You have to constantly feed into it and pay attention to the hate or it subsides. You have to constantly work at being hateful. Love is the exact opposite.
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2010 09:12 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
I feel bad for you when you eventually realize life is not all about you revolving around another person.
And you will waste all that time......
Damn!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 839198

Exactly!
I`m alone and i`m proud of it woo
Kashodi

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01/14/2010 09:23 AM

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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
Hate is easy, love is hard.
You must be very weak.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 792499


+1
Anonymous Coward
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01/14/2010 09:29 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
rofl

This is clearly satire folks, and decent satire at that!

OP, apply to work for The Onion!
Zephyr333

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01/14/2010 09:32 AM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
Holiday based on Adultery. Interesting.

Last Edited by >esper on 01/14/2010 09:34 AM
"I am searching for the bones of your father but cannot distinguish them from those of a slave." Diogenes

"Some have little power to do good, and have likewise little strength to resist evil" (Samuel Johnson).



"The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or as a curse."--Don Juan
Anonymous Coward
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02/13/2013 10:58 PM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
rofl

This is clearly satire folks, and decent satire at that!

OP, apply to work for The Onion!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 538386


Anonymous Coward
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02/13/2013 11:04 PM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
Hate is easy, love is hard.
You must be very weak.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 792499


Eh well said xD
ZeHammer

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02/13/2013 11:07 PM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
People will often tell you to live for today and follow your dreams. This is terrible advice . You will never achieve your dreams. Yes, it's true that I did. But let's face it; you're not me are you?

Setting your mind on something is not going to make it happen. You can do anything if you set your mind to it? This is one of the biggest lies since, "I won't cum in your mouth.", "I have that other kind of AIDS." or "I was just standing here stroking my dick, minding my own business but your sister won't stop backing into it".

If you try to have a wonderful day EVERYDAY and continue to learn, teach and find love amongst friends, family and always strive to make TODAY your best as there is no tomorrow you're going to waste a lot of time. I suggest that instead you do something every day that makes you happy, or at least distracts you from your miserable existence, like posting on GLP for instance.
 Quoting: uber tasty and delicious 864570


man you have quite a way with words lmao. you have me dying over right now
Live, Love and forgive
Anonymous Coward
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02/13/2013 11:11 PM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
valentines day originally is when women have the right to have sex with men other than their husbands.

no shit.
Mordier L'eft

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02/13/2013 11:19 PM

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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
as well as a few purely sexual ones
 Quoting: uber tasty and delicious 864570


pics, or GTFO
--"In this era of great big brains anything that can happen will. So hunker down." -- Kurt Vonnegut, JR. -- Galapagos.
Anonymous Coward
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02/13/2013 11:20 PM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
haha right on OP
Anonymous Coward
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02/13/2013 11:29 PM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
Hate is easy, love is hard.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 792499

Thats a HUGE crock of shit. It takes A LOT of energy to hate someone or people. You have to constantly feed into it and pay attention to the hate or it subsides. You have to constantly work at being hateful. Love is the exact opposite.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 822427


yep this ^^

hate happens when you analyze, think of all the ways you're getting fucked over, realize you live in a world that is 90% lies, and decide you aren't going to keep burying your head the sandbox anymore

love is when your told to ignore facts, statistics, and never ever think for yourself or about anything against what they (TPTB) want you to think about. Why do you think they came up with "hate crimes"?
Anonymous Coward
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02/13/2013 11:32 PM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
as well as a few purely sexual ones
 Quoting: uber tasty and delicious 864570


pics, or GTFO
 Quoting: Mordier L'eft


thought you were bragging about how you were marrying some uber fine chic a few months back...something about she loved you for your cock or something

she already dump you for a real black man?
Anonymous Coward
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02/13/2013 11:46 PM
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Re: I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day
I feel bad for you lonely GLP losers on Valentines Day. Personally, I have a brightly colored tissue box stuffed full of Valentines. I'm also in several, meaningful relationships, as well as a few purely sexual ones; not
to mention one fairly abusive one with the 14 year old runaway chained up in the basement.

OK, feel bad is probably too strong a term. I could really care less about you. But my job is spreading joy so that's what I'd like to do.

Valentines Day always reminds me what a stupid place full of suckers the world really is. I don't understand why they have a holiday dedicated to love. They should have a holiday dedicated to hate. Hate is so much better
than love. Love is bullshit. Most people go their whole life without being loved by anyone, and without loving anyone back. But hate is just the opposite. Everyone is hated, and everyone has tons of people that they
hate.

Everyone is always confused about love. Do I love him? Is it puppy love or true love? I love you, but I'm just not in love with you. Who do I blame for this? I blame Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. I think they should be
drawn and quartered in the town square. But then they should sew them back together but scramble up the parts so they would be these two crazy patchwork one breasted/half dicked/half pussied Julia Roberts/ Hugh Grant creatures. That would be awesome. And while they're at it they should hack up Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. Just hack them up and feed them to the kids.

But back to the hate. Hate is so beautiful and so pure. There's no confusion, there's no question. Do I really hate him? Yes, you do. Is it puppy hate or true hate? It's true, true, deep hate. I hate you, but I'm not in hate with you? Oh you're in hate with me alright you stupid mother
fucker. If ever something deserved to be celebrated, it's an International Day of Hate.

I propose Yadsenit N'elav, the anti-Valentine's Day. I think we should make Barack Obamas' birthday, August 4th, an international holiday to celebrate hate. A day dedicated to telling everyone you hate to fuck off. On Yadsenit N'elav you do not send people cards. Fuck you Hallmark, you're
not getting a dime.

Do I have to teach you people how to hate? On Yadsenit N'elav you don't give people anything. Instead, you take something nice from the people you hate. It doesn't have to be expensive; perhaps you take something of sentimental value. Is there anything better than seeing someone you hate
unhappy?

What about the flowers and candy you say? Valentine's Day has flowers and candy. Fine. Go to the yard of someone you hate and dig up all of their flowers. Happy? Eat a box of expensive chocolates and then stick your finger down your throat and Mary-Kate that chocolate right back into the
box. Give that to somebody you hate. Pour it out in their car.

The best thing about making a holiday about hate is it's a great way to avoid getting in trouble for being the miserable cunt you truly are. When your boss, or your teacher, or the police start to give you problems, you
just tell them, "I'm celebrating my holiday you fuckbag! What are you the fucking Taliban?" Nobody wants to be compared to the Taliban and they will let you go on your way.

So go find Cupid and shove his quiver full of arrows up his ass. If you can't find Cupid, any winged baby will do. Just be sure and go out and spread the hate. You know you have plenty to go around, so don't be stingy about it.
 Quoting: uber tasty and delicious 864570


Because people need gifts to be reminded they are loved.
Ok.

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