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ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?

 
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 11:58 AM
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ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
Just READ some these absurd verses starting with the book of Genesis.


The first day God creates light and separates light from darkness, and day from night.

Yet he didn't make the light producing objects (the sun and the stars) until the fourth day (1:14-19). 1:3-5

God spends one-sixth of his entire creative effort (the second day) working on a solid firmament. This strange structure, which God calls heaven, is intended to separate the higher waters from the lower waters. 1:6-8

Plants are made on the third day before there was a sun to drive their photosynthetic processes (1:14-19). 1:11

In an apparent endorsement of astrology, God places the sun, moon, and stars in the firmament so that they can be used "for signs".

"He made the stars also." God spends a day making light (before making the stars) and separating light from darkness; then, and almost as an afterthought, he makes the trillions of stars. 1:16

"And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth." 1:17

"I have given you every herb ... and every tree ... for meat." 1:29

"He rested."
2:2
God gets tired?

"The tree of life ... and the tree of knowledge of good and evil."

God created two magic trees: the tree of life and the tree of knowledge. Eat from the the first, and you live forever (3:22); eat from the second and you'll die the same day (2:17).

That's what God said, but......

Adam ate from the tree of knowledge and lived for another 930 years or so (5:5).

But he never got a change to eat from the tree of life. God prevented him from eating from the tree of life before Adam could eat from the tree, become a god, and live forever.) 2:9

God makes the animals and parades them before Adam to see if any would strike his fancy. But none seem to have what it takes to please him. After making the animals, God has Adam name them all. The naming of several million species must have kept Adam busy for a while. 2:18-20

God's clever, talking serpent. 3:1

God walks and talks (to himself?) in the garden, and plays a little hide and seek with Adam and Eve. 3:8-11

God curses the serpent. From now on the serpent will crawl on his belly and eat dust. 3:14

God curses the ground and causes thorns and thistles to grow. 3:17-18

God kills some animals and makes some skin coats for Adam and Eve. 3:21

God expels Adam and Eve from the garden before they get a chance to eat from that other tree -- the tree of life.

God knows that if they do that, they well become "like one of us" and live forever. 3:22-24

Cain is worried after killing Abel and says, "Every one who finds me shall slay me." 4:14

"And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD." 4:16

"And Cain knew his wife." 4:17

Lamech kills a man and claims that since Cain's murderer would be punished sevenfold, whoever murders him will be punished seventy-seven fold. 4:23-24

"And to Seth ... was born a son." 4:26

God created a man and a woman, and he "called their name Adam." too! 5:2

The first men had incredibly long life spans. 5:5, 5:8, 5:11, 5:14, 5:17, 5:20, 5:23, 5:27, 5:31, 9:29

Enoch doesn't die he just ascends into heaven. 5:21-24

When Lamech was born, nine generations were alive at once. Adam, Seth, Enos, Cainan, Mahalaleel, Jared, Enoch, Methuselah, and Lamech were all alive at the time of Lamech's birth. Adam lived to see his great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson. 5:25

When Noah was 500 years old, he had three sons.
[Three sons in one year? Was that with one (nameless) wife or several?] 5:32

The "sons of God" copulated with the "daughters of men," and had sons who became "the mighty men of old, men of renown." 6:2-4

"The LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh."

God shortened the human lifespan to 120 years because humans are "flesh" and he was tired of fighting with them. 6:3

"There were giants in the earth in those days." 6:4

God decides to kill all living things because the human imagination is evil. Later (8:21), after he kills everything, he promises never to do it again because the human imagination is evil. 6:5

-
More to come.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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01/19/2010 12:11 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
Come on now. I know all christers enjoy bible verses.


-
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:14 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
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More to come.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 851901


More cut and paste to come? You promise??

WOO HOO!!!

Give me a....C.....cheer

Give me a....U.....cheer

Give me a....T.....cheer



..........tp
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:15 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
Sorry, but NO ONE cares. Honestly, you might as well post some Mickey Mouse drama on here because the Christians who might read this are not going to give one damn. In fact, if they had been taught that Mickey Mouse was a REAL mouse and he lived in the kingdom called Disneyland and God was Walt Disney and he created Mickey from dust, they would believe it, just so long as it was included in their book of magic called the Bible. So they don't care if the stories in the Bible make no sense. They have been trained to ignore the basic premise of the book and they just listen to their gurus, like Pat Robertson. If he says that the earthquake in Haiti was caused by God because some 60 years ago the Haitian people made a pact with the devil, the brainwashed crowd in here will fall for it; hook, line and sinker. They don't actually read the Bible, they just look up to the idiots that make the money in the Christian religion by fooling the foolish. And that's why people like Pat Robertson are millionaires. And that is also why Christians are instructed to NEVER, under any circumstance, ask questions.

If you are writing about the ridiculous stories in the Bible and the horrible stories about the inhumane God for the atheists, then okay. We are already fully aware of this stuff so we agree. But trying to get through to the brainwashed crowd is like talking to the wall. In fact, you might as well just go into your kitchen, turn on the light, and start preaching to the cupboards. They have more of a chance of hearing and listening than the Christians in here would. Their brains are basically wired wrong. They would believe that a pile of shit could become a rose if their Bible told them so. You can print the stuff for the atheists because it IS interesting that people can be so darned stupid and naive and brainwashed that they would believe ANYTHING, (just so long as it was in THEIR book, of course) but if you think you'll change one of them, forget about it.
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:17 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
No...but the stupid people to claim to speak for God - YES.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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01/19/2010 12:17 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
More bible verses from the Book of Genesis


Lot (2 Pet.2:7-8)] offers his daughters to a crowd of angel rapers. 19:8

Lot lied about his daughters being "virgins" in 19:8. But it was a "just and righteous" lie, intended to make them more attractive to the sex-crazed mob. 19:14

Lot's nameless wife looks back, and God turns her into a pillar of salt. 19:26

Lot and his daughters camp out in a cave for a while. The daughters get their "just and righteous" father drunk, and have sexual intercourse with him, and each conceives and bears a son (wouldn't you know it!). Just another wholesome family values Bible story. 19:30-38

Honest Abe does the same "she's my sister" routine again, for the same cowardly reason. And once again, the king just couldn't resist Sarah -- even though by now she is over 90 years old. (See Gen.12:13-20 for the first, nearly identical, episode.) 20:2

"The Lord visited Sarah" and he "did unto Sarah as he had spoken." And "Sarah conceived and bare Abraham a son." (God-assisted conceptions never result in daughters.) 21:1-2

These verses suggest that Ishmael was an infant when his father abandoned him, yet according to Gen.17:25 and Gen.21:5-8 he must have been about 16 years old. It must have been tough for poor Hagar to carry Ishmael on her shoulder and to then "cast him under one of the shrubs." 21:14-18

Abraham names the place where he nearly kills Isaac after Jehovah. But according to Exodus 6:3, Abraham couldn't have known that God's name was Jehovah. 22:14

God swears to himself. 22:16

Abraham needed God's help to father Isaac when he was 100 years old (Gen.21:1-2, Rom.4:19, Heb.11:12). But here, when he is even older, he manages to have six more children without any help from God. 25:2

Abraham lived to be 175 years old. 25:7

Ishmael lived 137 years. 25:17

"She was barren."
In the Bible it's always the woman that are "barren", never the men. And when God "opens their womb," the resulting babies are always little boys. 25:21-26

Esau and Jacob were already fighting each other in the womb. 25:22

Esau sold his birthright to Jacob for a bit of bread and a bowl of lentil soup. 25:33-34

Isaac uses the same "she's my sister" lie that his father used so effectively on the same king Abimelech. (see Gen.12:13, 20:2). 26:7

Jacob names Bethel for the first time, before meeting Rachel. Later in 35:15, just before Rachel dies, he names Bethel again. (And it was called Bethel long before it was named Bethel in 12:8 and 13:3.) 28:19

Jacob is tricked by Laban, the father of Rachel and Leah. Jacob asks for Rachel so that he can "go in unto her." But Laban gives him Leah instead, and Jacob "went in unto her [Leah]" by mistake. Jacob was fooled until morning -- apparently he didn't know who he was going in unto. Finally they worked things out and Jacob got to "go in unto" Rachel, too. 29:21-30

Jacob goes in unto Leah by mistake. 29:23, 25

"And Jacob went in unto her. And Bilhah conceived, and bare Jacob a son." (These arrangements never seem to produce daughters.) 30:4

Leah, not to be outdone, gives Jacob her maid (Zilpah) "to wife." And Zilpah "bare Jacob a son." 30:9

Rachel trades her husband's favors for some mandrakes. And so, when Jacob cam home, Leah said: "Thou must come in unto me, for surely I have hired thee with my son's mandrakes. And he lay with her that night." Presumably God, by telling us this edifying story, is teaching us something about sexual ethics. 30:15-16

And finally, "God remembered Rachel ... and opened her womb. And she conceived and bare a son [surprise, surprise]." 30:22

Laban learns "by experience" that God has blessed him for Jacob's sake. "By experience" means "by divination", at least that is how most other versions translate this verse. 30:27
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:20 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
So true, nobody cares about your opinion.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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01/19/2010 12:21 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
-
More to come.


More cut and paste to come? You promise??

WOO HOO!!!

Give me a....C.....cheer

Give me a....U.....cheer

Give me a....T.....cheer



..........tp
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 868989







Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat..... You don't like verses from your own bible???????????

You christers are constantly pasteing bible verses here on GLP.

Just not these verses.

more to come.


-
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:23 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
"Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit atrocities." Voltaire

Explains a lot, doesn't it!
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:23 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
Mickey and Minnie got married and they bore Mickey, Jr. Pluto had a problem with the Dumbo ride at Disneyland (favoritism) and he caused a revolt among many Disney characters. Walt looked down from heaven and caused an earthquake which devastated most of Florida and Pluto was killed. Minney and Mickey and their sons and daughters spread out across the land. They created Disneyland parks in far away countries like China, Australia and the West Indies. Therefore, the word spread and God (I mean, Walt) was happy.
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:24 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
...Their brains are basically wired wrong...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 478522



Good rant.

Rather than their brains being basically wired wrong, I would redefine that glitch to their "brains being basically wired differently". In actuality, they're from a different stream of consciousness.

They've been described by some as "organic portals".

[link to www.cassiopaea.org]
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:24 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
-
More to come.


More cut and paste to come? You promise??

WOO HOO!!!

Give me a....C.....cheer

Give me a....U.....cheer

Give me a....T.....cheer



..........tp







Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat..... You don't like verses from your own bible???????????

You christers are constantly pasteing bible verses here on GLP.

Just not these verses.

more to come.


-
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 851901


Admit it. You thought my post was funny. neener
Anonymous Coward
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Netherlands
01/19/2010 12:25 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
The Bible is in itself a very silly book.

Too bad so many people take it so serious.
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:25 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
So true, nobody cares about your opinion.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 869007

No, idiot, no CHRISTER cares about my opinion because they have been trained to believe absurdities and untruths. You don't questions anything because you are sooooo afraid. So, like a little child, you will believe in Santa/God forever. AMEN.
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:25 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
God didn't write this pile of shit.. just a load of 'ole senseless bollox written by thick, stupid, ignorant aliens & humans together, which most aliens & humans believe in cos most aliens & humans are thick, stupid & ignorant. That's it!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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01/19/2010 12:31 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
Sorry, but NO ONE cares. Honestly, you might as well post some Mickey Mouse drama on here because the Christians who might read this are not going to give one damn. In fact, if they had been taught that Mickey Mouse was a REAL mouse and he lived in the kingdom called Disneyland and God was Walt Disney and he created Mickey from dust, they would believe it, just so long as it was included in their book of magic called the Bible. So they don't care if the stories in the Bible make no sense. They have been trained to ignore the basic premise of the book and they just listen to their gurus, like Pat Robertson. If he says that the earthquake in Haiti was caused by God because some 60 years ago the Haitian people made a pact with the devil, the brainwashed crowd in here will fall for it; hook, line and sinker. They don't actually read the Bible, they just look up to the idiots that make the money in the Christian religion by fooling the foolish. And that's why people like Pat Robertson are millionaires. And that is also why Christians are instructed to NEVER, under any circumstance, ask questions.

If you are writing about the ridiculous stories in the Bible and the horrible stories about the inhumane God for the atheists, then okay. We are already fully aware of this stuff so we agree. But trying to get through to the brainwashed crowd is like talking to the wall. In fact, you might as well just go into your kitchen, turn on the light, and start preaching to the cupboards. They have more of a chance of hearing and listening than the Christians in here would. Their brains are basically wired wrong. They would believe that a pile of shit could become a rose if their Bible told them so. You can print the stuff for the atheists because it IS interesting that people can be so darned stupid and naive and brainwashed that they would believe ANYTHING, (just so long as it was in THEIR book, of course) but if you think you'll change one of them, forget about it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 478522





Excellent post.

Your're 100 per cent accurate.

I just enjoy pointing out how stupid christurds are myself.
Some of them get mad too!!!!!1
It's Very scary when they threaten me with a horrible future.

Nevertheless, It's shits, and grins, and laughter, reading these silly bible verses. A soap opera for the lame and halt.

More to come,
-
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:33 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
And that is also why Christians are instructed to NEVER, under any circumstance, ask questions.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 478522


Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:37 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
it IS interesting that people can be so darned stupid and naive and brainwashed that they would believe ANYTHING, (just so long as it was in THEIR book, of course) but if you think you'll change one of them, forget about it.


Excellent post.

Your're 100 per cent accurate.

I just enjoy pointing out how stupid christurds are myself.
Some of them get mad too!!!!!1
It's Very scary when they threaten me with a horrible future.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 851901


OP....guess what ???!!!!


You may have just found your soul mate.

478522 is a woman!


Do I hear wedding bells?

snogging skulburn snogging skulburn snogging
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 851901
United States
01/19/2010 12:39 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
"Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit atrocities." Voltaire

Explains a lot, doesn't it!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 848712




Yes it does. That sentence hits the nail on the head.

More verses to come.

-
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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01/19/2010 12:42 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
Mickey and Minnie got married and they bore Mickey, Jr. Pluto had a problem with the Dumbo ride at Disneyland (favoritism) and he caused a revolt among many Disney characters. Walt looked down from heaven and caused an earthquake which devastated most of Florida and Pluto was killed. Minney and Mickey and their sons and daughters spread out across the land. They created Disneyland parks in far away countries like China, Australia and the West Indies. Therefore, the word spread and God (I mean, Walt) was happy.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 478522




Thats a perfect fit for the bible!

=
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:43 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
have fun with your circle jerk.
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:43 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
Imagine the fun you could have.

When you move in together.... sideways


.....You could set up your computers next to one another!!! shitstir2

......this way you could bounce ideas off each other about what to post about all those silly Christians.

They have husband and wife writer teams, why not a husband and wife Anti-Christurd team?

You could really put those Christians in their place then!!!


Two heads are better than one!!! afro
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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01/19/2010 12:47 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
God didn't write this pile of shit.. just a load of 'ole senseless bollox written by thick, stupid, ignorant aliens & humans together, which most aliens & humans believe in cos most aliens & humans are thick, stupid & ignorant. That's it!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 825807





Without the bible's make believe god character, the "pile of shit" bible would never have been written.


=
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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United States
01/19/2010 12:49 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
it IS interesting that people can be so darned stupid and naive and brainwashed that they would believe ANYTHING, (just so long as it was in THEIR book, of course) but if you think you'll change one of them, forget about it.


Excellent post.

Your're 100 per cent accurate.

I just enjoy pointing out how stupid christurds are myself.
Some of them get mad too!!!!!1
It's Very scary when they threaten me with a horrible future.



OP....guess what ???!!!!


You may have just found your soul mate.

478522 is a woman!


Do I hear wedding bells?

snogging skulburn snogging skulburn snogging
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 868989




If she will put out, yes!


-
Little Star

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01/19/2010 12:49 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
Just READ some these absurd verses starting with the book of Genesis.


The first day God creates light and separates light from darkness, and day from night.

Yet he didn't make the light producing objects (the sun and the stars) until the fourth day (1:14-19). 1:3-5

God spends one-sixth of his entire creative effort (the second day) working on a solid firmament. This strange structure, which God calls heaven, is intended to separate the higher waters from the lower waters. 1:6-8

Plants are made on the third day before there was a sun to drive their photosynthetic processes (1:14-19). 1:11

In an apparent endorsement of astrology, God places the sun, moon, and stars in the firmament so that they can be used "for signs".

"He made the stars also." God spends a day making light (before making the stars) and separating light from darkness; then, and almost as an afterthought, he makes the trillions of stars. 1:16

"And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth." 1:17

"I have given you every herb ... and every tree ... for meat." 1:29

"He rested."
2:2
God gets tired?

"The tree of life ... and the tree of knowledge of good and evil."

God created two magic trees: the tree of life and the tree of knowledge. Eat from the the first, and you live forever (3:22); eat from the second and you'll die the same day (2:17).

That's what God said, but......

Adam ate from the tree of knowledge and lived for another 930 years or so (5:5).

But he never got a change to eat from the tree of life. God prevented him from eating from the tree of life before Adam could eat from the tree, become a god, and live forever.) 2:9

God makes the animals and parades them before Adam to see if any would strike his fancy. But none seem to have what it takes to please him. After making the animals, God has Adam name them all. The naming of several million species must have kept Adam busy for a while. 2:18-20

God's clever, talking serpent. 3:1

God walks and talks (to himself?) in the garden, and plays a little hide and seek with Adam and Eve. 3:8-11

God curses the serpent. From now on the serpent will crawl on his belly and eat dust. 3:14

God curses the ground and causes thorns and thistles to grow. 3:17-18

God kills some animals and makes some skin coats for Adam and Eve. 3:21

God expels Adam and Eve from the garden before they get a chance to eat from that other tree -- the tree of life.

God knows that if they do that, they well become "like one of us" and live forever. 3:22-24

Cain is worried after killing Abel and says, "Every one who finds me shall slay me." 4:14

"And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD." 4:16

"And Cain knew his wife." 4:17

Lamech kills a man and claims that since Cain's murderer would be punished sevenfold, whoever murders him will be punished seventy-seven fold. 4:23-24

"And to Seth ... was born a son." 4:26

God created a man and a woman, and he "called their name Adam." too! 5:2

The first men had incredibly long life spans. 5:5, 5:8, 5:11, 5:14, 5:17, 5:20, 5:23, 5:27, 5:31, 9:29

Enoch doesn't die he just ascends into heaven. 5:21-24

When Lamech was born, nine generations were alive at once. Adam, Seth, Enos, Cainan, Mahalaleel, Jared, Enoch, Methuselah, and Lamech were all alive at the time of Lamech's birth. Adam lived to see his great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson. 5:25

When Noah was 500 years old, he had three sons.
[Three sons in one year? Was that with one (nameless) wife or several?] 5:32

The "sons of God" copulated with the "daughters of men," and had sons who became "the mighty men of old, men of renown." 6:2-4

"The LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh."

God shortened the human lifespan to 120 years because humans are "flesh" and he was tired of fighting with them. 6:3

"There were giants in the earth in those days." 6:4

God decides to kill all living things because the human imagination is evil. Later (8:21), after he kills everything, he promises never to do it again because the human imagination is evil. 6:5

-
More to come.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 851901

Spiritually dead is spiritually dead. What do I mean by that?
Here I want to show you something.. just for you... and in hopes that you can see beyond your flesh eyes.
I doubt that you will understand what I am about to show you, it is small pearl, and I don't like giving them out, but in your case, I will give you a small pearl.

Gen. 1:2 "The word void in that verse means " tohu va bohu" which means "totally destoyed."

Gen. 1:2 the "waters there is not real waters, but "PEOPLE" in the "spiritual sense". Read. Rev. 17:15 and see those "waters"...

Gen. 1:4 is talking about the real light, which is Christ and the real dark which is Satan. (Again spiritually speaking.)
Gen. 1:5 Defines how to decipher "prophecies" in the bible.
All prophecies about Christ are written with the word "Day, or Days".
All prophecies about Satan are written in "night, moon, and or months.".
There are more for Christ also.
So, you can read the bible with your flesh eyes and see the world being put back together, but for those which have eyes to see, will see some "hidden manna".

I don't expect too many Christians to see what I have shown, little lone you OP>>> But hey, I tried to open your spiritual eyes.

Christ is the "light" of the World , and many Christians will see that word and may make the connection to what I have presented.
The Word or Bible is deeper than most think and or realize. But hey OP, fire away at the bible, tare it apart, and show us your wisdom as to what you think you are reading.
And while your at it, decipher this verse for us all..
Isaiah 24:23 "Then the "moon" shall be confounded, and the "sun" ashamed, when the Lord of hosts shall reign in mount Zion, and in Jerusalem, and before His ancients gloriously."

Question for you OP to help you a bit here.
Does the "moon" and the "Sun" have a brain or feelings?
If your answer is NO, then you would be correct.
But, what does the verse mean then?

Are you of the "moon" or of the "sun" ?
Neither, you will say>>> lol lol lol...
I could go on and give you some more "hidden manna" on all of the scriptures that you have presented, but I don't cast my pearls to those that will stomp on them.

Last Edited by Little Star on 01/19/2010 12:51 PM
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:52 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
OP....guess what ???!!!!


You may have just found your soul mate.

478522 is a woman!


Do I hear wedding bells?

snogging skulburn snogging skulburn snogging




If she will put out, yes!


-
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 851901


oooooooooooooh......


.......now, I understand where all this frustration comes from.

Oh dear.

That's not my department.


chuckle
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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01/19/2010 12:55 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
Imagine the fun you could have.

When you move in together.... sideways


.....You could set up your computers next to one another!!! shitstir2

......this way you could bounce ideas off each other about what to post about all those silly Christians.

They have husband and wife writer teams, why not a husband and wife Anti-Christurd team?

You could really put those Christians in their place then!!!


Two heads are better than one!!! afro
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 868989





Three heads are better than two.

-
Anonymous Coward
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01/19/2010 12:56 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
yawn
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01/19/2010 01:00 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
.....day after day after day after day.....
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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01/19/2010 01:01 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
OP....guess what ???!!!!


You may have just found your soul mate.

478522 is a woman!


Do I hear wedding bells?

snogging skulburn snogging skulburn snogging




If she will put out, yes!


-


oooooooooooooh......


.......now, I understand where all this frustration comes from.

Oh dear.

That's not my department.


chuckle
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 868989



Actually, I get some now, when ever I want it.



God repents. 6:6-7

"Noah was a just man and perfect."
Noah is called a "just man and perfect," but he didn't seem so perfect when he was drunk and naked in front of his sons (9:20-21). 6:9, 7:1

"Behold, I will destroy them with the earth."
God was angry because "the earth was filled with violence." So he killed every living thing to make the world less violent. 6:11-13

Noah is told to make an ark that is 450 feet long. 6:14-15

God tells Noah to make one small window (18 inches square) in the 450 foot ark for ventilation. 6:16

"And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten ... for thee, and for them." 6:21

"Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens."
How did Noah know which animals were "clean" and "unclean" to God? (It wasn't defined until Leviticus was written.) 7:2

Whether by twos or by sevens, Noah takes male and female representatives from each species of "every thing that creepeth upon the earth." 7:8

God opens the "windows of heaven." He does this every time it rains. 7:11

All of the animals boarded the ark "in the selfsame day." 7:13-14

"And God remembered Noah."
Yeah. He probably said something like, "Isn't Noah the guy who built the ark?" 8:1

"The windows of heaven were stopped, and the rain from heaven was restrained." This happens whenever it stops raining. 8:2

Noah sends a dove out to see if there was any dry land. But the dove returns without finding any. Then, just seven days later, the dove goes out again and returns with an olive leaf. But how could an olive tree survive the flood? And if any seeds happened to survive, they certainly wouldn't germinate and grow leaves within a seven day period. 8:8-11

"And the Lord smelled a sweet savor."
Noah kills the "clean beasts" and burns their dead bodies for God. According to 7:8 this would have caused the extinction of all "clean" animals since only two of each were taken onto the ark. "And the Lord smelled a sweet savor." After this God "said in his heart" that he'd never do it again because "man's heart is evil from his youth." So God killed all living things (6:5) because humans are evil, and then promises not to do it again (8:21) because humans are evil. The mind of God is a frightening thing. 8:20-21

According to this verse, all animals fear humans. Although it is true that many do, it is also true that some do not. Sharks and grizzly bears, for example, are generally much less afraid of us than we are of them. 9:2

"Into your hand are they (the animals) delivered."
God gave the animals to humans, and they can do whatever they please with them. This verse has been used by bible believers to justify all kinds of cruelty to animals and environmental destruction. 9:2

God is rightly filled with remorse for having killed his creatures. He makes a deal with the animals, promising never to drown them all again. He even puts the rainbow in the sky so that whenever he sees it, it will remind him of his promise so that he won't be tempted to do it again. (Every time God sees the rainbow he says to himself: "Oh, yeah.... That's right. I promised not to drown the animals again. I guess I'll have to find something else to do."). 9:9-13

"Noah ... drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent."
Noah, the drunk and naked. 9:20-21

The entire tenth chapter is the first of many boring genealogies (see 1 Chr.1-9, Mt.1:1-17, Lk.3:23-28 for other examples) that we are told to avoid in 1 Tim.1:4 and Tit.3:9 ("Avoid foolish questions and genealogies.") 10:1-
rachel
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01/19/2010 01:03 PM
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Re: ABSURD BIBLE VERSES.... COULD A REAL GOD BE THIS STUPID?
not a good way to try and justify to yourself the sin your living in. it is perverse and I can feel the guilt you try to hide.

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