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Why men are never depressed

 
Cy Kotic
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User ID: 871441
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01/22/2010 11:54 PM
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Why men are never depressed
My daughter sent me this today, thought y'all might like it..

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:


Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures. Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier..
I'm just another freak in this never-ending cosmic freak show
Vesper

User ID: 860438
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01/22/2010 11:55 PM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
women are happier.

Last Edited by >esper on 01/22/2010 11:55 PM
"I am searching for the bones of your father but cannot distinguish them from those of a slave." Diogenes

"Some have little power to do good, and have likewise little strength to resist evil" (Samuel Johnson).



"The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or as a curse."--Don Juan
Anonymous Coward
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01/22/2010 11:56 PM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
Cute cut and paste joke but the reality is much different.
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
01/22/2010 11:57 PM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
lol periods...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 513596
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01/22/2010 11:59 PM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
Very funny!
antaun

User ID: 801232
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01/23/2010 12:00 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
I think that men are happier people because we have all the rights. We have higher pay, beauty standards, etc. I feel bad for women.
Prepubescent God

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01/23/2010 12:12 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
And i thought id be happier as a woman. Meh, guess ill just go futanari then.


Anyone know a good plastic surgeon?
Anonymous Coward
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India
01/23/2010 12:20 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
My daughter sent me this today, thought y'all might like it..

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:


Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures. Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier..
 Quoting: Cy Kotic

so true
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
01/23/2010 12:55 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
That "Story" can be easily reversed.
Hillcrest

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01/23/2010 12:58 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
women survive longer and spend all your money after ur dead

hf
Water always wins. :sun:
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2010 01:00 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
That "Story" can be easily reversed.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 841829

How? Women age like old crones and guys look distinguished.
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2010 01:01 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
Funny! My sister is always complaining about clothes and the fashion stuff girls go through. And every time I tell her that no one is making her wear high heels and destroy her feet.

Also, just because guys don't have boobs doesn't they don't get ogled. I catch girls checking me out constantly, they just dont focus on the chest as much as guys would lol.
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2010 01:03 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
I seem to be depressed because I care too much (mostly about my children's future)...

And I'm a guy.

Maybe I should consider the satanic ritual and cremate my care... (Google: Bohemian Grove)

Seriously. It seems to be the trend, these days... Nobody I talk to seems to care.


Paranoid Reality
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2010 01:04 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
The grass is greener on this side.

Probably because I know how to work the damn mower.
Hillcrest

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01/23/2010 01:10 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
That "Story" can be easily reversed.

How? Women age like old crones and guys look distinguished.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 859394


you look like aging bags of putrid flesh... yellowed teeth, hair growing out of your ears... trembling hands that can barely clench the TP you wipe ur wrinkly behinds... yellowed nails on hands with blue veins the size of caterpillars and dime-sized brown liver spots as you clutch the computer mouse and pathetically navigate to AskMen.Com for the latest "Top 100 Women" of the year.... you can't digest anything anymore and leave smoking trails of intestinal gas trailing behind you @ every step, delighting all in attendance.

yak
Water always wins. :sun:
Eschatology

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01/23/2010 01:16 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
That "Story" can be easily reversed.

How? Women age like old crones and guys look distinguished.


you look like aging bags of putrid flesh... yellowed teeth, hair growing out of your ears... trembling hands that can barely clench the TP you wipe ur wrinkly behinds... yellowed nails on hands with blue veins the size of caterpillars and dime-sized brown liver spots as you clutch the computer mouse and pathetically navigate to AskMen.Com for the latest "Top 100 Women" of the year.... you can't digest anything anymore and leave smoking trails of intestinal gas trailing behind you @ every step, delighting all in attendance.

yak
 Quoting: Hillcrest


And yet, we're still happy! Why, you may ask?

Because we understand we'll get old, we don't go trying to fight a lost cause.
As a man begins to live more seriously within: He begins to live more seriously without.
Theteck

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01/23/2010 01:20 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
girl have this symptom because the take anti baby pills or depo provera


check secondary effects

[link to www.alternet.org]
one exemple google it

hormones change a life not always in the good way
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2010 01:22 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
I like the way men do the pursuing and I as a female get to set the pace. I do the rejecting. Woman power!!!
Bluebird

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01/23/2010 01:29 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
That "Story" can be easily reversed.

How? Women age like old crones and guys look distinguished.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 859394



Hilarious!

No, men only THINK they age better. Failing eyesight I suppose.
One of the most important aspects of conspiracy theories is being able to discern when there isn't one.

Oh yeah, like you'd understand anyway.

Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?. . .J. Handy
antaun

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01/23/2010 01:32 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
That "Story" can be easily reversed.

How? Women age like old crones and guys look distinguished.



Hilarious!

No, men only THINK they age better. Failing eyesight I suppose.
 Quoting: Bluebird


I agree with you.
Hillcrest

User ID: 392015
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01/23/2010 01:46 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
That "Story" can be easily reversed.

How? Women age like old crones and guys look distinguished.


you look like aging bags of putrid flesh... yellowed teeth, hair growing out of your ears... trembling hands that can barely clench the TP you wipe ur wrinkly behinds... yellowed nails on hands with blue veins the size of caterpillars and dime-sized brown liver spots as you clutch the computer mouse and pathetically navigate to AskMen.Com for the latest "Top 100 Women" of the year.... you can't digest anything anymore and leave smoking trails of intestinal gas trailing behind you @ every step, delighting all in attendance.

yak


And yet, we're still happy! Why, you may ask?

Because we understand we'll get old, we don't go trying to fight a lost cause.
 Quoting: Eschatology


oh, give me a break.. I've worked in medical offices... you old men are some of the most bad-tempered, unhappy little creatures on earth... they start to get that way after they pass 50, and try to reassure themselves by going to the gym and trying to "keep up" with the 25-yoo guys there -- then blow out a tendon, ligament or lumbar disk and must face the fact that they are not young anymore.. it hits men JUST AS HARD with regard to diminishing strength and endurance, as it does women in the area of their looks.

don't lie.

Last Edited by Hillcrest on 01/23/2010 01:48 AM
Water always wins. :sun:
Eschatology

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01/23/2010 02:15 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
That "Story" can be easily reversed.

How? Women age like old crones and guys look distinguished.


you look like aging bags of putrid flesh... yellowed teeth, hair growing out of your ears... trembling hands that can barely clench the TP you wipe ur wrinkly behinds... yellowed nails on hands with blue veins the size of caterpillars and dime-sized brown liver spots as you clutch the computer mouse and pathetically navigate to AskMen.Com for the latest "Top 100 Women" of the year.... you can't digest anything anymore and leave smoking trails of intestinal gas trailing behind you @ every step, delighting all in attendance.

yak


And yet, we're still happy! Why, you may ask?

Because we understand we'll get old, we don't go trying to fight a lost cause.


oh, give me a break.. I've worked in medical offices... you old men are some of the most bad-tempered, unhappy little creatures on earth... they start to get that way after they pass 50, and try to reassure themselves by going to the gym and trying to "keep up" with the 25-yoo guys there -- then blow out a tendon, ligament or lumbar disk and must face the fact that they are not young anymore.. it hits men JUST AS HARD with regard to diminishing strength and endurance, as it does women in the area of their looks.

don't lie.
 Quoting: Hillcrest


50 year old men trying to do anything a 25 year old can do is stupid. There is nothing wrong with maintenance. But, the old guys that "hit the gym", use Viagra, dress like college douchebags, are pathetic. They should be duct taped to a pole and flogged with a mackerel.

Maybe it hasn't hit me as hard, because I understand my mortality.
As a man begins to live more seriously within: He begins to live more seriously without.
Hillcrest

User ID: 392015
United States
01/23/2010 02:17 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
Because we understand we'll get old, we don't go trying to fight a lost cause.


oh, give me a break.. I've worked in medical offices... you old men are some of the most bad-tempered, unhappy little creatures on earth... they start to get that way after they pass 50, and try to reassure themselves by going to the gym and trying to "keep up" with the 25-yoo guys there -- then blow out a tendon, ligament or lumbar disk and must face the fact that they are not young anymore.. it hits men JUST AS HARD with regard to diminishing strength and endurance, as it does women in the area of their looks.

don't lie.


50 year old men trying to do anything a 25 year old can do is stupid. There is nothing wrong with maintenance. But, the old guys that "hit the gym", use Viagra, dress like college douchebags, are pathetic. They should be duct taped to a pole and flogged with a mackerel.

Maybe it hasn't hit me as hard, because I understand my mortality.
 Quoting: Eschatology


then I congratulate you on your common sense hf


and LOL @ "flogged with a mackerel."
Water always wins. :sun:
Free Store

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01/23/2010 02:50 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
Well from what I have seen, it seems to be pretty even steven


We all get depressed & We all get happy, over the same things
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2010 03:41 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
Generally our testosterone levels (if normal) save us from depression. Men can fall prey to depression but it's far more rare for a man to be clinically depressed than it is for a woman to be. The bad news is that men are much harder to treat for clinical depression because most men will deny being depressed and refuse to tak the medication that would save them from that miserable malady.
freeone

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01/23/2010 03:44 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
women survive longer and spend all your money after ur dead

hf
 Quoting: Hillcrest

She did that and I'm still kickin. lolsign
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2010 03:58 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
That "Story" can be easily reversed.

How? Women age like old crones and guys look distinguished.


you look like aging bags of putrid flesh... yellowed teeth, hair growing out of your ears... trembling hands that can barely clench the TP you wipe ur wrinkly behinds... yellowed nails on hands with blue veins the size of caterpillars and dime-sized brown liver spots as you clutch the computer mouse and pathetically navigate to AskMen.Com for the latest "Top 100 Women" of the year.... you can't digest anything anymore and leave smoking trails of intestinal gas trailing behind you @ every step, delighting all in attendance.

yak
 Quoting: Hillcrest

MMMMM!
I was looking forward to aging gracefully.

Was.
Hillcrest

User ID: 392015
United States
01/23/2010 04:02 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
That "Story" can be easily reversed.

How? Women age like old crones and guys look distinguished.


you look like aging bags of putrid flesh... yellowed teeth, hair growing out of your ears... trembling hands that can barely clench the TP you wipe ur wrinkly behinds... yellowed nails on hands with blue veins the size of caterpillars and dime-sized brown liver spots as you clutch the computer mouse and pathetically navigate to AskMen.Com for the latest "Top 100 Women" of the year.... you can't digest anything anymore and leave smoking trails of intestinal gas trailing behind you @ every step, delighting all in attendance.

yak

MMMMM!
I was looking forward to aging gracefully.

Was.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 862192


lol

you're a good sport

I was only kidding
Water always wins. :sun:
Anonymous Coward
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01/23/2010 04:13 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Ignorance is Bliss. That's why.

hiding
barnowl

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01/23/2010 04:24 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Ignorance is Bliss. That's why.

hiding
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 859716


That's true.
Where ever you go, there you are.
neteru<>

User ID: 863311
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01/23/2010 04:27 AM
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Re: Why men are never depressed
women are happier.
 Quoting: Vesper

yeah. the girl that typed or wrote this is pretty pessimistic herself.
We have finally come back to the pre-Socratic philosopher Heraclitus, who said everything is flow, flux, process. There are no "things." Bruce Lee





GLP