Godlike Productions - News: Doomsday "Black-Hole" Believer Thrown Out of Court

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Sunday, November 23, 2008

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Doomsday "Black-Hole" Believer Thrown Out of Court

The Daily Galaxy

2008-10-03

Daily Galaxy favorite Walter Wagner has finally been thrown out of court! For those of you who don't subscribe to Nutjob Monthly, Mr Wagner has been filing lawsuits to prevent the activation of the Large Hadron Collider - mainly based on the assumption that his time working in a hospital with nuclear medicine and a Hawaiian botanical garden gives him a better understanding of particle physics than almost every scientist on the planet. It turns out this wasn't a great assumption.

US District Court Judge Helen Gillmor dismissed the case on the grounds that while Mr Wagner claims a preternatural knowledge of eleven-dimensional black hole threats to reality, he can't seem to read a two-dimensional map. It turns out that Geneva isn't actually under US jurisdiction (and due to a significant lack of oil is likely to remain so), making the entire lawsuit slightly more retarded than bringing your best running to take part in the Indy 500.

What does this mean for the rest of us? Well, even at the height of his noble battle to defend all of mankind from the evils of science Walter somehow found time to comment on every single site that talked about him (often while pretending to be several different people!) so we can look forward to more of that before. Someone who identifies himself in actual legal documentation as "A wikipedia science editor" is certainly an internet force to be reckoned with, so we definitely won't do anything like call him an decerebrate media-whore attention-junkie time wasting parasite on the legal system, media and scientific community. Nope. Why, if we did he might write nasty things about us!

Besides, it's not as if "actually being told to go away by a judge" will cause him to cease legal action. The entire particle physics academic community telling him he's wrong didn't make him change his mind about particle physics. With the LHC shut down for repairs and the winter, we can look forward to another few months of comically under-informed legal prancing before the LHC fires, the Earth remains intact, and Mr Wagner awkwardly shuffles off stage to find something else to be demented about.

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