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Anyone that could help I'd forever appreciate
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[quote:Anonymous Coward 30737789:MV8yMDkzMTI0XzM1MjM5NDkyXzc3NTQxMTA5] OP, I feel for you and you are not alone – so many young adults are going through this, and it seems more profound in men in their twenties. Based on your posts it sounds like you may be around this age. The despair that is taking hold of this group can be debilitating and medication often does not appear to help. A close member of my family is also struggling with the same loss of hope on a deep level, including suicide attempts, hospitalization and medication, with far less traumatic life experiences than you have had to face. Perhaps it is the pain of being ‘awake’ on a planet that functions much like ‘The Matrix’. Keeping up faith when faced with enormous burdens on every level can be daunting and you are not alone in your frustration: Mother Teresa said, “I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.” From those I’ve seen in this struggle, there is no one answer – and that is no offense to posters who find that their faith in God alone has gotten them through. It comes down to finding a life jacket that fits who a person is at this moment in time. A life jacket, a ladder to climb out of the water, a boat, blankets, warm clothes….sometimes a multi-pronged approach is needed for rescue. Op, you have said you miss your music, and that is indeed a way to stay in touch with the divine. As a musician it is part of you, so if there is any way to get back to playing or writing even if just for yourself, it may be an important anchor for you. Music turned out to be a life jacket for the person in my family struggling as you are. Another thing that helped him was the book (also a movie) called ‘The Secret’. It is focused on the power of the mind and the law of attraction. I have not read it myself, but do know that these are concepts that many different spiritual paths have in common and may be another way for you to be in touch with the divine when your faith is at an ebb. Follow your heart and instincts when it comes to the isolation. There are times it is necessary or even vital. If, however, the lack of connection plugs up who you are, especially as an empathetic person, perhaps volunteering somewhere would be a way to keep that flow open: senior citizens, animals, anywhere that you can experience the exchange of giving that is also so much a part of you. Lastly - and this may not apply to you - many people find that marijuana brings solace, but for those in this kind of despair it can exacerbate the situation. Others here will disagree with this, yet there are studies that show that newer strains, particularly ‘greenhouse pot’, have chemical compositions that cause the opposite effect of the typical well-being marijuana is supposed to induce. There are some excellent BBC documentaries about this online. The thread mysterynomore posted may well be true, and I have always believed we are here on earth at this time to witness something extraordinary happen to mankind. The waiting is brutal for many of us who are ‘awake’ – but I truly think it will be joyfully awesome when it arrives. Hang in there and all the best to you OP. [/quote]
Original Message
Hi, let me start off by saying my life has been one train wreck after another. My whole childhood was shit. Growing up I've always tried to do the best I can to help those around me. Now I've lost everything. I lost the one girl that made me feel human, which is something I never knew before. I lost all of my friends because of immature acts of fools with Peter Pan Syndrome. My family is so fucking twisted I can't even speak of them without flying into an emotional cocktail of rage and sadness. I have no job now. I got thrown out of school over a technicality. I am slowly losing touch with my faith and with hope. Every day I wake up I wish I hadn't. I beg God for help and guidance and nothing ever comes. I've tried to kill myself 5 times in the past six months and for what ever mystical cruel universal prank I can't. I've spoke to doctors they tell me that nothing is wrong with me and no medication in the world can help. They have tried everything from anti-depressants to mood-stabilizers nothing works. I honestly don't know why the hell I'm even bothering to post anything on here seeing as only about 2% of anyone takes anything seriously. But I guess I have no options. Please, does anyone have any advice what so ever?
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