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Subject Working on some jokes for amateur stand up night! Need feedback.

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Original Message Hey everyone. I'm doing some amateur stand up soon here and working on some material. Can you give me some feedback? I want to avoid anything too cliche or played out. Here's some material I'm working on...

One time I had to pee really bad and I just peed in my hands and held it. My teacher asked "what's in your hands?" so I told her "a little leprechaun!" She didn't believe me and told me to open my hands. I did and the pee went everywhere so I went "oh no! You killed him!"

Once there was a store haunted by a ghost named Bloody Fingers. A man went into the back of the store and the ghost went "I'm the ghost of Bloody Fingers!!" and the man ran out screaming. Then a woman went back there and the ghost went "I'm the ghost of Bloody Fingers!!" and she ran out screaming. Finally a little baby went back there and the ghost went "I'm the ghost of Bloody Fingers!!" but the baby just screamed "give me some milk!!!" and the ghost went "ok. I'll get you some".

One day I was driving with a bunch of pies in the passenger seat and got pulled over. When the cop asked why I had so many pies I turned and told him "Are you sure you don't want to know about the custard in the trunk?"

Two ice cream men are talking and the one says "I have ice cream bars and Popsicles and ice cream sandwiches" the other says "I have a hernia but at least I'm insured!"

What do you get when you cross Roman Polanski with a snow leopard? A typical night in Eugene, Oregon.

Why was the snow man green? Because the other snowman sneezed on him and covered him in boogers.

What's the best game to put in a Nintendo Entertainment System? A jacket.

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