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I'm going into rehab to get off Suboxone... a drug they put me on to get off drugs.
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[quote:Jack 66822930:MV8zMDY1MTE3XzU1NDEyOTI5XzlDOTE5QjVB] I love my GLP family. Just wanted everyone to know I have 28 days clean and sober.... Detox was hell. Ended up getting in the local paper writing a letter to the editor (my 2nd day in there...) because I don't have medicaid so the local rehab couldn't take me in their 30 day program... I spent three weeks in the 3-5 day "detox" unit of the rehab... I just refused to leave until I felt right. Had a mini seizure... again. I was coming off of Suboxone, Xanax, Valium, a litre of rum a day... basically, anything. I'm happy. Anxiety is still really high. I get... whew, I get anxiety going to the corner store. Yet every day is getting better.... People look at me and say "You look SO MUCH BETTER -" and I'm glad, but when I look in the mirror it's like "Are my pupils supposed to be this big?" Too many times I've said I'm never doing X Y Z again... My plan? Well, obviously, I have to get back to work.. Feels good to have testosterone running through the body. Feels really good when people say "You're so smart!" No, I'm not, if I was smart I wouldn't of done this to my body... But, there's something rewarding about... just breaking free. Going to bed at 2am, waking up at 6am, wide awake - that's not... normal to me. Yet, life goes on. It's scary... yet I urge everyone who is in chains to break free. Time to turn into a gym rat and fix up my truck... I appreciate everyone who called and emailed me. Now I realize that GLP isn't the real world... it's a damn website... yet when I was whacked out, I hid here... for now? I'm at 80% "mental wise" - happy - and ready to try life this way. :hf: [/quote]
Original Message
With everything in my life right now - It's time I make a choice... and I'm in the prime of my life... and the only thing scaring me - is detox. They put me on Benzos and Suboxone six years ago to keep me off Oxycod0ne - and now I'm addicted to the Suboxone and Benzos! - I can't dream. It's lowering my testosterone levels. It's holding me back. I'm spending a new car payment a month on it...
So I called the local clinic... and I can get it for a 10 day detox, and during that 10 day detox they are going to use my insurance to find a in-patient facility (I have 10/90% co-insurance for inpatient... Thank god for that)
So... just yeah. I'll be going in Monday. Going to spend the weekend with this new girl I met... she supports the decision...
If anyone here has ever 'detoxed' off opiates before... I use to be so embarrassed because I'd never give my self enough clean time.... and I'd (Bearing my fucking heart and soul here) - I ejaculate in like one minute... but on suboxone? I can last and last and last... But now, as I'm getting older.. I can't even finish - just kill me now.
So... I have to go through 10 or so days of hell. Then a couple months of "Okay, this is reality." - also, probably not a lot of sleep. But what is 90 days of my life... if I can just see the end of the rainbow, the 90 days mean nothing in the big picture.
Fuck the pharmaceutical having me held hostage. PLUS, people like ME RIGHT NOW would be the first to go if SHTF -
I want to be 100% pure. Clean. The way God intended me to be.
Like I said... I go in Monday (they have a bed then) - and...
Yeah. Um. Send some prayers or good thoughts over the next month about some guy named Jack in Tampa Bay....
It's worth it. I can do it. What is a a month of hell for a life time of being broken free from the chains?
- Jack
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