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I can't stand this world anymore!! :( in my whole life I wasn't that much miserable.. nothing works...
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Original Message
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All my life I was thinking that believing in Jesus, that making Him my Lord would set me free and happy. I don't care when people say about me 'ooo look at him, his going to church! He is wearing cross on his chest!! this is so weak'. I dont care about. Somehow I feel stronger.
But I'm talking about this life.. I know I should pursue new life after death, near God, near Jesus, in Heaven. BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS LIFE??
I wasn't poor, I was happy, I didn't have problems with money, I had so many friends. People respected me.
NOW? I'm broke, soon I will be evicted because I didnt pay 2 last rents.. I can't find job. Months ago I was thinking about proposing to the best girlfriend ever. Now we argue all the time and I can't stand this, I don't know if she isn't thinking about breaking up..
This is my life. Everyone are telling 'hang on!! soon Jesus will come!!.. it is worth to wait!!'.
But I say: HOW???
I hate myself so much right now. I feel so bad and sad. I'm begging Lord Jesus, I'm begging God to help... and big nothing.. :(
Now is the day that I don't know anything and I feel like I wasted my life. I'm not talking about my Faith. I will still believe in Jesus. What's left for me? Nothing. :(
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