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I'm in shock from the sudden death of my beloved husband...
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[quote:ZeroGravity:MV8zMzAzNTUxXzU5MDU5OTIwXzZDNjZFQ0Y1] My thoughts and prayers are with you! My daughter passed away 2 years ago from an ATV accident, she was 13. At 5 months out from the accident our lives were still a mess, trying to adjust to what our new "normal" was without our daughter brightening our lives. Nobody knows what God's plan is, but there is a plan....and it's not our place to question it. You know in your heart that he is in a better place....and what you're feeling now is what you've lost rather than what he has gained. Live your life, find your new normal and allow yourself the time to heal. I still miss my daughter terribly, and still have my bad days. But more and more when I think of her it's in the context of her laugh, or something funny that she did to make us smile, and I dwell less on the fact that she's no longer here. Respect your husband's memory by becoming a stronger woman from your pain....you know that he wouldn't want to watch you waste away. My wife has found comfort in an emotional support group of other parents who have lost their children. I tried, but it just wasn't for me. We all grieve in different ways, and heal at different speeds. Smile through the pain, remember the love you shared, and continue to live your life knowing that you'll be together again someday. God Bless You. [/quote]
Original Message
It was five months ago. He was murdered at the age of 61. I've since sold my home and am living in a small rental. Most of my world possessions are in storage. I don't have the heart to sort through them.
My memory is extremely poor. I can tell that I am not right. I've lost 30 pounds and look 20 years older.
I was praying for my husband when he was shot. I loved him so very much and he loved me.
Where was God? How am I to ever pray again? How am I to ever trust God again?
I have a roomate in my home now who helps me get through the days. Without this roomate, I'd be in a psyche ward.
And yes, I'm seeking medical, psychiatric, spiritual help. The drugs just cloud my mind. The doctors says I'm in shock (Acute Stress Disorder) and will soon move into PTSD. The psychiatrist says I'm doing well. The psychologist may be outt of her depth on this one.
Every day of my life, I thanked God for my wonderful husband. I never ever took him for granted. Ever. I loved every thing about him.
Where is God? And how do I face the days?
Please, no flippant answers. I'm in deep pain, in a small rental home filled with boxes. I don't know where I'm going. I can't even think 10 minutes ahead without weeping.
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