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Subject
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My life is terrible
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Original Message
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Man I'm just as fucked up as an old gorilla pussy would have been. It's been 20 years now and it's not getting any better. I've been patient, but life is just fucking with me, and I'm drowning in this mess. Somehow I accept that I fucked up back in the day (out of my ignorance) but the rest, nature forced upon me..... I lost my faith in god and I'm terribly, terribly suffering so much that it's almost like a joke, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. It's almost like my brain is boiling and it's living hell, it's killing me I can't breathe and there is no way out.
So I ask
Why the fuck do I exist? Why do I have to experience this life?
Then I know, it's the wrong question. There is no why, it's just how things are, unconscious matter shaped itself this way, this is what my intellect tells me. But still, the suffering is unbearable I'm mentally so weak and my life is just horrible. Trust me you wouldn't wanna be me.
Damn. I just had to let it out. Sorry. Living everyday with the feeling of disgust, despair, tears and insanity, it makes you like this. Man there is no god, I am telling you. Not at least in my experience. Or even if there is, it is not human(ish), it doesn't understand the human being, otherwise it would be a sadistic maniac.
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