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Subject How to Capture, Kill and Bury Godzilla
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Original Message godzilla

How to capture, kill and bury Godzilla? First, all the great chiefs need to have a pow wow to agree that Godzilla is a bad ass mother killer. It is eating all the food, drinking all our water and it is eventually going to breath and burn all our air. We must stop Godzilla!!! After all the great hunter chiefs agree to work together to kill and bury Godzilla, then we can go about our plan.

Here is the plan: Although Godzilla is fearsome and formidable, he is slow moving. That is good for us and we use that to our advantage but, we must move quickly! We can not get too close to him but, we use that to our advantage. We can stay a mile away and do the job without getting too scorched. We shall dig a horizontal shaft towards him and sneak under him. Not too shallow though because we don't want him falling down on top of us. Plus, all that nasty Godzilla shit and piss we want to keep off of us. Then, when we are directly under Godzilla, we start digging down and that is how we are going to capture him. After we dig a deep pit, one in which he will never climb out, then the digging will be done. Leave the shovels down there men, we are in a hurry!

While the men are digging, we need a distraction for Godzilla. We need to get the unhatched eggs out of danger. We will move them to where it is safe. We must be very, very careful with the eggs because if they break, it'll be a big slippery mess. After we get the unhatched eggs out of the way, and protected, we can then sneak up on Godzilla while he is not looking and drill holes into the ground all around him. Into the holes we shall place high energy explosives. Godzilla won't go down easily and will fight all the way so we need to spray him down with some sticky glue and that will also keeps the fire breathing flames stuck to him.

Then when all is set, the Big Chief will push the switch detonating the high energy explosives buried in the ground all around Godzilla. This will undermine the ground that Godzilla stands upon and send him, his fire breathing flames, and all his shit and piss to the bottom of the pit.

Now, Godzilla will still be alive and shooting flames out of the pit so we must move very, very quickly to finish him off. This is the easy part because gravity will help us now. We put all the dirt from digging the pit back on top of Godzilla. Since we must act fast, we will have a mile long conveyor belt at the ready. To make it even more difficult for Godzilla to fight his way out, we will first dump clay on top of him. We know Godzilla hates clay like superman hates Kryptonite so this will help a lot.

This is the plan men. We must stop this Godzilla and his two siblings now and fast. He is absolutely, assuredly destroying us but, unlike Godzillas financiers, we are smarter than Godzilla. Who's in for pow wow?

godzilla
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