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Subject Ol' Pat Robertson establishes a shield of protection against Hurricane Florence!
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Original Message Listen up, North Carolina and South Carolina and Virginia and the rest of y'all: TURN THOSE CARS AROUND. (Do not turn those cars around.) We know you think there is a big hurricane coming your way, but that is Fake News, because Pat Robertson fixed it. (Pat Robertson did not fix it.)

Right Wing Watch reports that Pat Robertson has done his usual "GO 'WAY, BIG BLOWY STORM" prayer in Hurricane Florence's general direction, thus sparing the coast (not sparing):

I don't want that thing to come in," Robertson said. "I don't want it to hurt Regent, I don't wait it to hurt CBN, I don't want it to tear up the beautiful campus, I don't want it to tear these trees down, I don't want to see any damage, I don't want a bunch of glass flowing, and I don't want [damage] all over this area that is counting on us to pray for them."

Robertson then commanded Florence, in the name of Jesus, to change its path away from land and to spin off into the Atlantic ocean.

"We declare in the name of the Lord that you shall go no farther, you shall do no damage in this area," he said. "We declare a shield of protection all over Tidewater and we declare a shield of protection over those innocent people in the path of this hurricane. In Jesus' holy name, be out to sea!"

FIXED IT!

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