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Mom is dying
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In accordance with industry accepted best practices we ask that users limit their copy / paste of copyrighted material to the relevant portions of the article you wish to discuss and no more than 50% of the source material, provide a link back to the original article and provide your original comments / criticism in your post with the article.
[quote:Only Me:MV8zOTE1NjAyXzcwNjM3MDQ0X0VCRTAxMUM5] [quote:BrianMcFry:MV8zOTE1NjAyXzcwNjM2OTMzXzhEQTg0RTQ3] [quote:Only Me:MV8zOTE1NjAyXzcwNjM2ODc5XzhEMzA4NkE=] [quote:BrianMcFry:MV8zOTE1NjAyXzcwNjM2Njk1Xzk1Nzg0NEM1] Thank 'yall for the support; I hurt with her. It hurts to see her struggling, she doesn't have long to live. The cancer has infected her liver, the kidneys, and her spine. Her breast cancer had a resurgence, and she refused to get help the past few weeks/months. It wasn't until she was seriously ill that she made it to the hospital. Thankfully she did, so that we can have these precious, last few moments to share. The memories hurt, the good and the bad, it all hurts and comes in waves. We only just found out yesterday, and because I am her closest living relative, it was put on me to make the choice. It is the right choice. She has a history of alcohol abuse, and I am sure that it has contributed greatly to the condition she is in now. She has had multiple warnings in the past with hospital visits, and now the time has finally come. I feel a certain amount of guilt, but I shouldn't. It was the choices she made, not mine. I just wish this was all a dream, but its not. [/quote] This is not in any way your fault. Don't allow yourself to go down that road. That said, I know alcohol abuse didn't help her in any way, but when you're dealing with metastatic cancer, she likely would have had this happen whether she was drinking or not. Some things are just unavoidable. Even so, I understand your guilt. I felt it when my dad died. I was constantly asking myself if there was anything I could have done differently. I think it's probably normal to have these thoughts. Just don't let it overwhelm you. [/quote] Thank you. I just wish we would've had more moments with her. Before this was nothing but drama, and confrontation. She moved away from us with a less than reputable man, and it has caused much strife in our already turbulent family. I wish we couldve sat down and had a meal, just us, like we used to have before the divorce, the foreclosure, and the collapse. [/quote] Past is past. What has been done cannot be changed. You have right now. That's where we are. Use right now to show your love to your mom. Use right now to be with her. Use right now to see her for what she is, a beautiful flawed human who loves you, regardless of things she has said or done in the past. I'm a mother, so I know she wouldn't want you to be unhappy, especially if it was because of something she did. You should reassure her, and yourself, that your happiness is your choice and your responsibility, not hers, and that you don't hold her accountable for your happiness. We all have good and bad memories with our families. Choose to dwell on the good. Choose to create as much good as you can right now. [/quote]
Original Message
Cancer has spread to multiple organs. Further treatment is futile. She's being taken to hospice today to make her last days more comfortable than the ICU which would only prolong the inevitable. She's only 52... I'm the only child... Her parents will outlive their second child, their first born son died not long before I was born, 25 years ago. After helping them through that grief, it looks like I am meant to help them through this grief, also. This will be my first experience losing a close relative. Nothing could have prepared us for this day.
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