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04:46 PM
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I'm building a bullshit machine...
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[quote:CalmShock:MV8zOTQ3NTYyXzcxMzM2NTQzXzQ2OUQ3ODc2] [quote:*Sloane*:MV8zOTQ3NTYyXzcxMzI2MTkwXzUwNTNENkVE] Why are you out? [/quote] It turned out I was nominated to be a torch bearer in the 2026 Winter Olympics being hosted in Bermuda! I immediately packed all my favorite socks as well as some light snacks (anchovy paste, pickled eggs, some "prairie oysters" and a can of mashed peas) for my journey. Upon arrival at the airport to book a flight, I realized I forgot my wallet... OH NOES! It became immediately obvious what my next move should be. 7 and a half hours later, patiently waiting in the corner stall of what I thought to be the mens washroom, a stewardess (who I had hoped to be a pilot)enters and completely unaware of my presence due to my highly evolved stealth abilities I learned from a Jewish monk in Tibet, takes the stall directly next to me... Now, I'm not sure what the hell that lady ate, but all I can tell you is the sound was akin to dumping out a mop bucket and the smell, a mixture of fermented baby diapers and a sac of dead rotten alley cats. It was time. I stealthily peered over the dividing wall, preparing my ether/chloroform cocktail napkin... In between thunderous bowel releases, I pounced! Jumping on her back, I covered her face with the night night juice expecting her to quickly succumb... She did not. With the strength of 10 men and a John Deere tractor, she jumped up spinning round and round trying to loosen my kung fu grip, continuing to spray wet shits all over the place In a moment of clarity and disgust, I decided this plan sucks, quickly apologized claiming I had mistaken her for Joy Behar and made my escape. I'm just using the library wifi, hiding in the bushes waiting for the police to leave. Once I get home I'm going to make other arrangements... TO BE CONTINUED...???? :damned: [/quote]
Original Message
I'm building a machine, which in reality, serves no purpose. Basically though, it's going to run on bullshit.
In order to keep this machine fed, I need everyone to collectively donate whatever bullshit they may have read, seen or heard at any point in their existence. Post the whackiest shit you've ever experienced.
Why create this thread you ask? GLP is the oilfields.
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