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Subject WARNING: Demons in search of an orgasm stalk lone self-pleasurers for quickie possession

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Original Message They never tell you this at school.

If you are an onanist, beware of inappropriate fantasies. They attract the souls of the dead who crave an orgasm. Yes, they will 'jump in' just prior to ejaculation to share the pleasure. You will know it if you pay attention.

The possession is over quickly. They don't hang around, but slope off looking for a smoker.

REMEDY: Never masturbate without a priest in the room. Failing that, make sure you eat plenty of garlic before getting down to it.

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