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Subject Anti-Wall Extremist The Kool-Aid Man Leads Campaign Against Trump
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Original Message WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Donald Trump’s campaign to put a wall on the southern border of the U.S. has long been opposed by a number of different groups, but it’s now gained an extremely vocal new opponent: noted anti-wall extremist the Kool-Aid Man.

The large red entity known as the Kool-Aid Man is long known for his hostility to walls, smashing through even brick walls to deliver his concoctions of water, food coloring, and sugar. Estimates put the property damage he’s caused in the tens of millions, and he shows no signs of slowing down.

“Walls are nothing but obstacles between me and kids in need of refreshment,” the Kool-Aid Man told a cheering crowd. “I pretend like they’re not even there.” The Kool-Aid Man then vowed to smash through any wall that would be placed between the U.S. and Mexico, his devotion to rescuing thirsty kids recognizing no borders.

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