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Subject Miss Lindsey Graham Was Nice Enough To Make Free Campaign Ad About Abortion, For Democrats
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Original Message As promised, Republican Senator Lindsey Graham held his press conference at noon today, announcing his backwards-ass plan for a national abortion ban after 15 weeks, against the will of the people. He was flanked by a veritable who's who of female Christian Right leaders, because we guess they had enough PR sense to make it seem like the misogynistic events of the day at least didn't look that way, if you had the TV muted.

Of course, it was misogynistic as fuck, as they spewed forth their forked-tongued lies about a medical procedure most Americans really would rather keep between them and their doctors.

In the process, Lindsey Graham, looking like he slept outside and woke up 20 minutes ago when the pavement on the right side of his face started getting hot, accidentally made a campaign ad. For Democrats. For free.

Graham promised that if Republicans take the House and the Senate there will definitely be a vote on his bill to make sure Lindsey Graham gets to be the boss of your privates just like Samuel Alito is boss of your privates. Likewise, he said if Democrats in charge, he doesn't know if Congress will EVER vote to come up with some kind of timeshare system whereby white Republican men take turns bossing around your privates.

But wait, why are we here again? People have been noting today that several months ago, this very same Lindsey Graham who looks today like he slept in a dumpster after a rough night at the club said repealing Roe v. Wade would make abortion a state's rights issue. And now here he is trying to do a national abortion ban. How can Lindsey Graham explain this, outside of saying "Ha ha, what a liar I am"?

He said it's easy to explain, because when Democrats introduced a bill to codify abortion in American law, he "thought it'd be nice to introduce a bill to define who we are."

So that was a meaningless answer, from a meaningless man.

The rest of the presser was just unscientific, non-medical garbage and a breathtaking number of lies per minute.

So, again, this is the campaign ad Lindsey Graham just made for Democrats, free of charge.

We appreciate him for that, what a very southern gentleman thing of him to do!

Onward to November.

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