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Male egos, and strong, independant women...

 
Woodsprite  (OP)

User ID: 1262096
United States
02/11/2011 08:35 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
...

I haven't tried a Cancer....because they are water signs, and I normally don't do very well with them...but I may give it a shot, if they are good with women like me...:)
I'll try not to stomp all over his feelings, unintentionally, like us Rams are famous for ( we really don't mean to!)
LOL..my second husband was a Sag.
It was all good until he found out about the Leukemia....then he went away, and never came back to me, even though he was in remission for a couple of years.
Losing him was heartbreaking...:(

I do get along well with Gems too..but I haven't had a Gem, since my first love when I was 15...LOL...
Maybe I need to find some sort of Astrological dating site, where I can just look for those signs...LOL
 Quoting: Woodsprite


I'm a Cancer! twirl
 Quoting: Jake101

Oh yeah?!
I'll dance with ya...try not to step on your toes too much with my hoofers...LOL..:D
 Quoting: Woodsprite


I'm a fat white guy. That makes me possibly the worst dancer on the face of the Earth.
 Quoting: Jake101

whew..good to know..

LOL..we can just do this then...shiver
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 963720
United Kingdom
02/11/2011 08:38 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
you create your own experience of reality.
Woodsprite  (OP)

User ID: 1262096
United States
02/11/2011 08:39 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
Or they are putting in 40 hr. weeks working at places like Walmart, or Speedway, or a restaurant...because part time work just isn't enough to cover everything.
 Quoting: Woodsprite


It was designed this way. You can only support a false economy so long before it begins to wither away. A great way to bump it back up is to force a 100% increase in the work force. This is why feminism was so well funded ;)
 Quoting: Jake101

...probably right about that.

I can't say I've ever been a huge fan of the whole Feminism movement as I have known it to be.
I can see where women lost a lot with it.
There are women that are happier just being natural Nurturers, caring for their families, and they really don't get to do that much these days.
Yeah, the women that wanted something differant got what they wanted...but others lost their choice..
bhardy307

User ID: 1257227
Canada
02/11/2011 08:42 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
Sick of men that get pissed off and leave because I made more money in 4 days, than they did in a month...

You may be talented, but with this one phrase you prove you are a weakling with a self confidence problem.

Nobody likes to be in a relationship with a person who actively draws attention to their own vulnerabilities.

Your above expression leads me to believe that you aren't just living your success, instead your are jamming it down a guys throat.

I too would dump you!

Last Edited by Forkyew on 02/11/2011 08:43 AM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 963720
United Kingdom
02/11/2011 08:42 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
I'm a fat white guy. That makes me possibly the worst dancer on the face of the Earth.
 Quoting: Jake101

This you ?

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1259808
Canada
02/11/2011 08:59 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
Hey OP, call me. I'll be a househusband. :P
Woodsprite  (OP)

User ID: 1262317
United States
02/11/2011 09:05 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
Hiya OP - you remind me so much of me! lol...having worked in a male dominated environment....building sites...for yrs..earning more pay than my partner and peers...sure they flirt and all that but ya know - men are gems. Sure they have ego issues - who doesn't in this world?!

It's hard to find your place as a woman and a man as the goalposts are always moving sociologically.

I think men - on the whole - prefer women to be more 'get up and go' types and be independent to degrees.
Hell - most men wouldn't mind me earning more...alot find that attractive now - in all age groups.

I'm out of the industry now...i have a life partner so never pursued all the flirtations on the building site i got daily. It became part of the job - a laugh and tickle and everyone is friends. It's important not to take it all too seriously. If i was more 'butch' and not so 'model-like' i would have got less attention. I tried to 'ugly myself up' at the start..to detract attention. I wanted recognition for my work not my face and body. Just being a happy talented woman gets you attention - if you have looks too - then it can be hell or heaven - depending on how you react.
In the end i was 'one of the lads'...i know it to be true as they would 'whoooaaaarr' every woman who walked on site and be nudging me for approval!! LOL!

Through working with men in that industry it really made me realise how it is men that really should be considered the fairer sex. They are more willing to move their own 'preferences' for their partners than women are willing to do for men.

The stories guys would tell me of their home life - wives...their concern...their obvious love and devotion. Let a man provide something for you - never let your partner feel they can't do anything for you.
The love of a good man should never be under-estimated!!

You'll find 'Your Man' OP - but don't go assuming every man is intimidated by you as it'll prove to be true as it's one of your core beliefs currently. Instead believe that most men would find your independence attractive. Know in yourself that earning more than your partner matters not...otherwise it could prevent you from finding your perfect match.

In a way i think you like that you are so independent and don't need a man to provide for you (hell i am!) but remember in a partnership, if you push that fact - you will make any man feel 'unwanted, not needed'.
Make love and your similarities of character build the relationship - instead of making income an issue.

Good luck sweetie....you're a gem about to be discovered!!

afro
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 711787

Thanks for your wonderfull reply..:)
It does sound very much like we have walked in the same shoes, and you understand much of what I've been talking about.
...about me thinking about me beig intimidating..
You know, I never really thought of myself in that way, but the past several years, I've had like 3 people in my life come out and say those exact words to me 'You are intimidating'.
When the 3rd person said it to me...I had to think about it.
Looking at my life...I can see where I could be considered that way, even though it has never been a conscious effort on my part to try to be that way.
I've never been a 'power seeker'.....but others have always 'put me in charge'..
I've never really sought any glory or gain from anything I've created...it was created for the sheer joy of creating...but it has brought me material gain, and glory of sorts( being in the newspaper, my work shown and talked about on TV, winning shows and having to go 'accept awards')

Not just lovers have told me this...co-workers have told me this( because of my ability to create. I once had another artist tell me I made him feel like his work was meaningless, because I talk about stuff in my paintings, and he didn't)
Friends have told me this..because of my physical presence, and accomplishments, independant spirit, intelligence..

I guess I've just come to accept that I am this way...atleast to a certain degree, because I keep hearing it... :(
The old 'forrest and the trees ' thing...maybe?

If I ever meet anyone that interests me seriously again, I'll try and not project it onto them, like you said...
I really don't want to doom something before it starts.. :P

I hope you're right, and I do get discovered...:)
Would be nice to have a companion on this last part of the Earthwalk...:)
But, I can walk it alone if I have to...altho, I'd rather not.. ;)
Woodsprite  (OP)

User ID: 1262317
United States
02/11/2011 09:16 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
O.P this is what I reckon....

There are two groups of people...

Kings and Queens
Princesses and Consorts.

You have to make up your mind which one you are Queen or Princess so you know which type of personality to go for.

You sound like a Queen to me (being a fire sign Aries would also lead me to say that too)
So you therefore need a Queens Consort.
Someone who won't mind you shining ........as you put it.

The answer to this is go for an unafflicted Cancerian Male.
Or a Gemini or Sagittarius.
These guys are the only ones who can handle a strong independent woman for long periods of time...and it is genuine.

But they have personality traits that could get on your nerves, so the trade off is to be patient, non judgemental and go with the flow. ...

that is all......good luck
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 660494

I haven't tried a Cancer....because they are water signs, and I normally don't do very well with them...but I may give it a shot, if they are good with women like me...:)
I'll try not to stomp all over his feelings, unintentionally, like us Rams are famous for ( we really don't mean to!)
LOL..my second husband was a Sag.
It was all good until he found out about the Leukemia....then he went away, and never came back to me, even though he was in remission for a couple of years.
Losing him was heartbreaking...:(

I do get along well with Gems too..but I haven't had a Gem, since my first love when I was 15...LOL...
Maybe I need to find some sort of Astrological dating site, where I can just look for those signs...LOL
 Quoting: Woodsprite



The Gemini was when you were 15 before your potential was fully realised and the Sag ex husband sounds like things were great until he got sick.
typical Sag male though. they are just as strong and emotionally independent as you and Aries people are!
Good reason to give another one a go, if you 2 had a good relationship....also give a Gemini another try.
You might be pleasantly surprised as an adult.
And yeah, Cancerians ....they get a bad rap for being moody and negative but it's just that because they give out so much of themselves it's their way of making space for themselves. They need the alone time every now and again...
If you give them that, they are keepers.

No guarantees here but who knows what you'll find...;)

[link to www.plentyoffish.com]

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 660494

Thanks for the well wishes..:)
Yeah you are right about the first love being there too soon..

I was surprised by Sag. husband.....he wasn't nearly as strong as I thought he would be, being a fire sign.
He pretty much gave up on life, and withdrew into himself in a drug and alcohol haze.
There was nothing I could do to reach him...to get his fire for life back.
I felt like I kept picking him up, and he just kept falling back down again, didn't even want to try to live. Just accept Death, and tune everyone else out of his life.
It really was heartbreaking to see him not only not try to fight the Leukemia, but hasten his Death, drowning his emotions in alcohol and drugs that made the Cancer medicine ineffective... :(

I can give a Cancer space...:)
I need 'space ' myself, so I can create...so I totally get it!...:)
Woodsprite  (OP)

User ID: 1262317
United States
02/11/2011 09:18 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
you create your own experience of reality.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 963720

True to a certain extent...
Woodsprite  (OP)

User ID: 1262317
United States
02/11/2011 09:20 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
Sick of men that get pissed off and leave because I made more money in 4 days, than they did in a month...

You may be talented, but with this one phrase you prove you are a weakling with a self confidence problem.

Nobody likes to be in a relationship with a person who actively draws attention to their own vulnerabilities.

Your above expression leads me to believe that you aren't just living your success, instead your are jamming it down a guys throat.

I too would dump you!
 Quoting: bhardy307

I didn't shove anything down his throat..
I didn't even figure out how much I made on the job, until HE brought it up to ME!
He worked for the same place that hired me for the job...
He asked the owner what I was getting paid...I never said a word to him about it.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 300884
Sweden
02/11/2011 09:21 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
My wife makes more money than me. Why would that be a problem? It allows us to live way better than if she made less. What's not to like about that?

I'm just getting confused here...
Woodsprite  (OP)

User ID: 1262317
United States
02/11/2011 09:36 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
I decided to end the discussion about what I look like when I'm working...here are some pics to see, 3 examples.

[link to s959.photobucket.com]

I don't think I look slutty, or like I'm trying to draw attention to myself in any of them.
The only 1 that could possibly even be construed to be that way, would be the one that was used in the guy's book..
But seing how it was going to be in another artist's work, did I relly want to show up looking like Hell?
Would he appreciate that very much?
I tried to dress as tastefully as possible, knowing I was going to have to be working on a floor.
Woodsprite  (OP)

User ID: 1262317
United States
02/11/2011 09:37 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
My wife makes more money than me. Why would that be a problem? It allows us to live way better than if she made less. What's not to like about that?

I'm just getting confused here...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 300884

I hear ya!
That's what 1 would think...
But for some screwed up reason, it's a problem for quite a few, from my experiences..:(
Woodsprite  (OP)

User ID: 1262317
United States
02/11/2011 09:41 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
Hey OP, call me. I'll be a househusband. :P
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1259808

.....LOL...do you have rippling muscles, and a high libedo?

Really, I'm not lookng for a househusband...I just want someone to walk along with me..
I'll let them be them..if they let me be me...:)
I'm actually quite domestic too....we could share doing that together...:)
Woodsprite  (OP)

User ID: 1262317
United States
02/11/2011 09:51 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
I'm a fat white guy. That makes me possibly the worst dancer on the face of the Earth.
 Quoting: Jake101

This you ?


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 963720

gaspahhh
chuckle
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 497893
United States
02/11/2011 10:07 AM
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Re: Male egos, and strong, independant women...
I read a very nice post by a female on here a bit ago, talking about female Egos, and how men today don't 'stroke' it enough, therfore,
men don't ask women out.

I felt the need to add a side bar to her thread, because while she may be speaking for some women, there are others that need to be adressed.

I'm talking about the women that get intimidated/jealous of a strong, independant man.
I've had the problem with pretty much every woman I've ever been with....no matter how much I 'stroke their ego" to make them feel good.
They just can't handle a man that makes more money than they do...or is blessed with a gift that generates income without having to
slave away at a job you hate.
My independance is threatning to them....because I do not 'need' them.

Personally, this bums me out to no end.......because when I'm in love with someone, I want to 'shine' for them...so they can be proud to
be my partner...be able to tell their friends 'Yeah, that's MY MAN!"
I know that personally, I'd much rather want to be in someone's life that 'wanted' me there, not because they 'needed" me to be there.

Are there no women out there that can appreciate a smart, talented , attractive, independant man out there these days?

Why should we have to "pretend' that we 'need' you?
Why isn't it good enough that we love you , and want you in our lives?
Why do you get all threatened when we 'succeed', and are shining for you, so you will be proud to have us on your arm?!
Do you really want some man that depends on you for EVERYTHING?
Emotional fulfilment, financial support, emotional support?
Seems to me it would get old pretty quick having to be EVERYTHING to another person, have them lean on you for it all.

Because of these things, is why I really don't date anymore.
I'm sick of having to fight to be me, to be 'allowed' to create...
Sick of women that get pissed off and leave because I made more money in 4 days, than they did in a month...
Sick of women that get all upset, because I don't need them in my life, I just 'want' them to be in it...

A man's life does not have to revolve around a woman, and I'm sick and tired of having to tip-toe around their so easily bruised egos.
Partnerships should be an equal exchange of love,respect, and support for one another...not some competition, or some deadly game of
having to constantly prop up your partner's ego, or it all comes crashing down.





GLP