Male egos, and strong, independant women...

You sound like your on a great track -do not let a man take the things away from you -your creativity, that makes you -you. Some men seem to think they own you once you are a couple, that they can dress you however they want. If you are a successful woman and want a man who wants to be with you, then it would probably be wise to keep your money separate and thus out of the relationship. This way your making more is no matter to him and he cannot use you, he cannot make your work "his" and you can give out of your generosity without him owning you.

Ummm....I didn't see partying mentioned in this...
But I can comment from a personal point of view...
I don't bar hop....I gave that up years ago, after the birth of my son.
He came before anything else in my life.
So, I don't go to bars looking to meet people.
Actually, I hate alcohol, it's destroyed so many people I love, it's gotten to where I get very angry around someone that's blitzed.

I don't think men that don't bar hop are boring....to me, if they can have a good deep conversation with me, it's more attractive to me than anything!
Engage my mind...and it will win you my heart!
LOL...I guess that's why here lately I've been crushin' on Dr La Violette.
He really isn't such a 'stunningly handsome man'....but I find his intelligence, and caring for Humanity at large, putting his work out there for real people, the bravery to not not 'sell out' for the money....hugely attractive.
I wonder if he likes strong, talented, independant, attractive women... LOL

Thanks for your support...:)
It is very much like you described....they are attracted by my creativity, and free Spirit...but then they try and kill those things off once they 'have me'...why my marriages haven't worked.
Sometimes I think they get jealous of the time I spend doing it...like they should have that time spent on them.
I can never get them to understand that my needing to create, does not mean I don't love them, or want to spend time with them....it's just that sometimes, I have no choice, it's hammering at my Soul, and it has to come out...and I have to be alone, undisturbed to be able to set it free.

After having been on this awful Merry-go-round for so long, I've come to the conclusion that I'll probably never Marry again.
I'll date someone, if I ever meet anyone that interests me again...but the marriage thing seems to be a relationship killer.
I figure just having someone walk with me for a while, and then leave when it starts looking like the whole marriage issue raises it's head...will be alright.
That way, the things that have created so many problems, won't happen.
It's kinda sad that things are more than likely going to end up this way.....but I guess it's better than being married to someone that is always trying to change the basic 'who you are', and are trying to make you conform to them being your 'everything'.

Nothing wrong with either of those things....I think it's sound thinking.

Come visit me in Canada, Woodsprite.
-EAT nli

I like strong independent women. I detest it if they are involved in New Age self empowerment therapy bullshit...

My boyfriend sure doesn't mind the idea of being a house husband, but of course I want to be the one that stays home. I make about twice as much money as he does. It does cause a lot of problems.

There was a perfume ad many years ago that went something like:

'If you want him to be more of a man, be more of a woman' lol

Oh I know it's the theme of 1000s of self-help girlie articles, etc etc. but it also hits square the incessantly, undeniable nail on the head.

ps
works both ways, of course.

And you've been divorsed. What the fuck.

Welcome to america land of the poor poor poor women, the poor poor poor homos and the poor poor poor blacks and us white men will be leaveing ASAP.
Don't follow us.

Maybe it will...maybe it won't.
But really, what is 'long term' these days?
5 years ( most relationshps fail within the first 5 years)
10 years?.....it's a rare thing today to find a happily married couple that's been together for 10 years or more.

I think that people should follow their hearts for as long as their hearts want to be together...however long that is.
The old 'till death do us part' thing is pretty much a dinosaur, and it rarely ever happens anymore.
People are living longer these days...and most of the time, over the years, people tend to 'grow apart'....no matter what their ages are.
I can see where both people could benefit from this type of relationship....besides just the sexual aspect of it.
The older woman can share the life wisdom she has gathered thru her years, and help her younger partner not get caught up in avoidable mistakes...
The younger partner can bring vitality to the older woman, let her feel like she did when she was a younger woman, bring a youthful spontanaity back into her life, because they haven't been beaten down by life and Society yet..

I've always wanted to go to Canada...I hear y'll have some of the best fishing and hunting around...;)

I don't understand the abreviated stuff there at the end...I'm not into 'texting ', so you need to be a little clearer...LOL..I'm a dinosauer.

I hear ya...I'm not much into that stuff either....
Oprah make me want to puke

I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH "STRONG" WOMEN OR "SUCCESSFUL" ONES, WHAT BOTHERS ME IS TO ENCOUNTER ONE WITH AN EGO SO BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION, WHO REPEATEDLY GOES ON AND ON ABOUT HER "INDEPENDENCE" WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL THE WORD CORRECTLY.

MAYBE THAT MAKES ME A NIT PICKER, BUT MAYBE IT SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT THE WOMAN.

JUST SAYIN'.

These changing dynamics are creating many, unfortunatly.
I think it's great if a guy is happy being a house husband...people should do what they are happiest doing.
I don't see it as making them less of a man....it just means they are blessed with a nurturing side.

I hope you all can get things straightened out between you all..
Personally, I'll be happy when we switch fom this material/money dominated World, to something that isn't like what we have now.

nli= not logged in

Last Edited by ºEATº on 09/20/2010 07:49 AM

A poet once said:

"love is a form of discrimination, there's a thousand other people in the world you would love more if you ever met them, but you won't"

I'll be married 23 years in November, I just got lucky.

Gemini?

Why so angry, typing all in caps?
Are you yelling at me?

Just because someone makes a typo dosen't make them less intelligent...just means most of the time, they have fat fingers, or are thinking faster than their fingers can keep up with....or they don't have 'spell checker' turned on.

Sounds to me like you are being a nit-picker, over something so trivial...because you have no other contribution to make to the discussion on this thread.

Everyone alive, has an EGO to some degree...to deny it, you'd be a liar.
My own personal ego...well, it isn't all that huge.
But I find no shame is talking about what I do well in.
Should I go around denying the fact that I was picked out as a child as someone'born with a gift', and sent to a private art school by the State?
Should I deny that I was given an award and recognized in my Junior year of High School, by the Art College in town?
Should I deny that I had work in a major gallery when I was merely 18 years old?!
I could go on, as there have been many times , awards I've won thru the years, not even trying to compete.
Would it make you feel better if I just didn't believe in myself?
I don't go around talking constantly about my accomplishments....but i see no need to try and hide them just to make some man feel better about himself.
I have a right to be proud of what I've done...just like everyone else does.
If you have 0 ego, then you have no self confidence, and you will never succeed in anything.
I guess according to your thought process...the next time I am given an award for my work...I should just 'keep that to myself', and not even tell my significant other, or want them to be there with me to recieve it.
What an oppresive way to have to live.....not being able to share my joy with someone that says that they LOVE me.

LOL..thanks for clueing me in...:)

Will ya go fishing with me if I come and visit?

I like that quote...mind if I keep it?... :)

Yep, you sure did!
Congratulations for hitting the jackpot!
You are one of the lucky few that have.... :)

Aries....thru and thru... :)
I have managed to tame the temper and impulsiveness thru the years somewhat, but it's still a struggle sometimes.

;-)

best,

O.K...I have to go get ready to take my Dad to the Dr....
I'll be back later today to see what's transpired in my absence... :)
Hope everyone's day is a pleasent one...even if it is a Monday! ;)

OP I think men prefer a woman that makes a decent income, it is not about that. Men want women to stroke their egos and make them feel important, to which shows they have insecurity issues.

Women have no time to stroke male egos, we know you have them that is extremely obvious but it is not our jobs to do that for you. If women are interested in you so be it but do not ask them to kiss butt 24-7 for you so your mind can feel good. You are responsible for your own ego needs inside of yourself do not look outside for those issues. Your egos are not that important to any of us either, it is a waste of time to appease a males ego needs.

Believe me if a woman is interested and adores you she will tell you but otherwise it is not her job to make any of you feel like a man. You are men, act as such.

nailed it

Hi,

I have a different take on this and this comes from personal experience..

I am male. Some years ago, I met this most amazing woman. I was late 30's, she in her early 50's

She was "successful" and I was a slacker. After a half a century of constant disappointment, she did not like males, and I did not particularly like alpha females..

But anyway, our eyes met, instant powerful love, and i fell under her spell.

She changed me in an instant. As I say, i fell under her spell, and became much like a puppet, or a remote control robot

Now she could have got into the male female dominance thing. but the love was so complete....she believed in me..

And powered me up. Go get em tiger. And I did. I achieved, and she made it possible.

There was part of me that did not like the idea of being a female puppet. But the greater part of me loved the empowerment this brought. A small part of her did not like the fact that I became so successful in relation to her so quickly. But the greater part of her liked the idea of having a young energetic male at her fingertips. Make her money, make love to her, and mow the lawn :)

That is the way it is meant to be. Just look at nature, and expand that. The female is meant to inspire the male to deliver for her. If she is good enough, inspires him, he will deliver her everything she wants. A baby, material wealth whatever.

My suggestion to any woman out there. Find a man, believe in him, and he will deliver for you. Every time. Get caught up in the "I am woman" thing, you might end up mildly successful in your own right. But you will be much happier with a motivated male by your side.

To any man. Forget about any of the fluff - looks, status ect - and find a woman who adores you and believes in you...If you find one of those good women, your whole world will change, endless possibilities..

And happiness.

I think when the time is right it will happen.
IF it was meant to happen.

Maybe you were not meant to have a steady mate in this life.

Once you come to accept that - your energy will change. You will be perceived differently.

Relax.
Accept sincerely.
Smile.
Laugh.
Enjoy.

Do not accept less.

Believe you? Why? You think telling is all there is? You need to hang out with your sisters in a relationship and teach more than a few of them other forms of communication. I know for fact that some women are clueless that their body language, looks and behavior betray an obvious contradiction in what they say and what they feel...