Male egos, and strong, independant women...

Birdie

Sadly, I am afraid woodsprite is not at all familiar with the natural law and natural order.

Woodsprite does know natural order maybe not what the christian philosophy says but she is deep, has a knowledge of the cosmic order of things, probaly a loner, scares men with her eroticism and so sexy that she makes men weak at the knees. They cant control her and they know it so they run not walk walk away. I would guess shes had a few gf's and is better looking than most.

Woodsprite dont worry sexy there is someone that you will met that is your equal. I would have to say someone who is caribean or a Northern Californian. My guess is you live in the south. To many many baptists down there for you. They have to much deep seated biases.

Tree Nymph have fun you will someone soon that you can dance with.

sevenmrelives

.

Oh, good grief. I just saw this. I'm out.

Just hoping to find a series of meaningless relationships until your looks run out??



Pretty much.

Some 26-y-o handed me her number on a napkin last week.

It happens often enough that I think I can go another ten years or so and then keel over dead and happy.

Oh, good grief. I just saw this. I'm out.



Birdie turned chicken and flew the couple at the thought of two same-sex lovebirds in a cage? With leather!?

I do manage to have fun, sometimes...but it really would be nice to have someone to dance with... :)

Jeez, what about us men that want our egos stroked sincerely and honestly? I mean I'll do the same, sincerely and honestly. Honestly. I detest insincerity and dishonesty when it comes to women stroking my ego!

why do you need it though?


Because it's nice. The opposite is indifference, which is a killer to any relationship. Or dont you think?

I guess I see a difference between paying attention to a lover, and having havng to build up someone's fragile ego. Everyone should be responsible for their own self worth; their own self confidence. Men should not NEED their egos stroked. They should be doing that for themselves. Women can just give them a lover's attention which is extra. LIke gravy on top. Likewise, women should not look to men for validation, but appreciate the time spent with them.

Jeez, what about us men that want our egos stroked sincerely and honestly? I mean I'll do the same, sincerely and honestly. Honestly. I detest insincerity and dishonesty when it comes to women stroking my ego!

why do you need it though?


Because it's nice. The opposite is indifference, which is a killer to any relationship. Or dont you think?

I guess I see a difference between paying attention to a lover, and having havng to build up someone's fragile ego. Everyone should be responsible for their own self worth; their own self confidence. Men should not NEED their egos stroked. They should be doing that for themselves. Women can just give them a lover's attention which is extra. LIke gravy on top. Likewise, women should not look to men for validation, but appreciate the time spent with them.


I see the distinction you're making. Cant relate to it, but I appreciate you have experienced it. For me it's not "stroking the ego" out of some inferior need. But simply attention, love versus indifference and hate. That's my experience, and that's the the only dichotomy I recognize.

Jeez, what about us men that want our egos stroked sincerely and honestly? I mean I'll do the same, sincerely and honestly. Honestly. I detest insincerity and dishonesty when it comes to women stroking my ego!

why do you need it though?


Because it's nice. The opposite is indifference, which is a killer to any relationship. Or dont you think?

I guess I see a difference between paying attention to a lover, and having havng to build up someone's fragile ego. Everyone should be responsible for their own self worth; their own self confidence. Men should not NEED their egos stroked. They should be doing that for themselves. Women can just give them a lover's attention which is extra. LIke gravy on top. Likewise, women should not look to men for validation, but appreciate the time spent with them.


I see the distinction you're making. Cant relate to it, but I appreciate you have experienced it. For me it's not "stroking the ego" out of some inferior need. But simply attention, love versus indifference and hate. That's my experience, and that's the the only dichotomy I recognize.

Do you build yourself up? Ie: stroke your own ego? Not in a self-absorbed way, but as self-appreciation.

Do you build yourself up? Ie: stroke your own ego? Not in a self-absorbed way, but as self-appreciation.

Your description of your wife, sounds very much like myself.
In all honesty, the men I've married, or dated...98% of them are not 'professional types", or 'financially wealthy'
I have nothing in common with them, because they are so wrapped up in 'aquireing things"...and that's really unimportant to me.
It's really difficult for a professional type to be in a relationship with a free Spirited person.
I don't go out with materially wealthy men, because I'm not a material person.
I'm not out there succeeding , doing what I do for money...it's just out of the sheer love of it, something inside me I was born with, and I'm just not happy doing anything else....the money it brings, is just a side effect/result of that .
The wealthy men I've gone out with over the years, have all had 'control' issues...or they think they can 'buy your love and loyalty with 'stuff'.
I prefer ordinary guys.....my first husband was a Glazer, put giant tempered glass windows in skyscrapers...
My wife worked in the sign industry with me....
My second husband is the only 'office worker' I've ever seriously dated, and he worked as a fraud Investigator for Bank of America.
The last guy I've dated for the past 5 years, off and on again, was a "greenskeeper' at some of the major golf courses around town, and he also did groundskeeping work for Cemetaries....worked for the Public Parks system.

It's more than just the money thing that intimidates men, about me.
It's also my strength.
I'm not talking physical strength, ( although, because of my work, I have been stronger than some of the men I've gone out with)...it's an inner strength, the kind where if I get knocked down, I don't sit and cry about it...I get back up, and keep going.
If there is some huge emotional crisis happening...I don't fall to pieces...I deal with the situation in a calm manner, until the crisis passes.
If I know I'm right, I will not give in, give up, or can't be broken.
Even if I'm hurt, you'll never see it the majority of the time.
You may see my anger at someone acting like an asshole, but I won't crumble, and cry about it.
If times are hard, and bills need to be paid, or the plumbing needs to be fixed....I don't freak out, I just go hustle up some more work to cover it..
This inner strength to 'not give up in the face of adversity...is very intimidating to a lot of people.
But it is this inner strength that has kept me plugging away at this art thing in the face of so many people that have said, 'you'll never be able to make a living with your art'...my entire life.
In my heart, I know it's what I was born to do...so I refuse to 'give up'

Strength dosen't mean 'domination of others'...it really dosen't even figure into what I've been talking about on here.
I know there was another poster that spoke of being a 'puppet'....to me, that's not a 'strong woman', that's a controling person...whole differant animal .
The strength I'm talking about, has nothing to do with how I treat other people, it is part of my 'character', the basic makeup of who I am.
I have no desire to control anyone, I have my hands full enough just trying to handle my own affairs/business/life...without having to try and keep track of, and make sure another person is doing "what I told them to do".
Their lives are their own, and I don't interfere with theirs...they know their hearts, what they want to do, what they enjoy doing.
The only time what they are doing comes into consideration in my life...is if it directly affects me, and our relationship.

Ooops, the quote/unquote turned out backwards! lol

A woman's life does not have to revolve around a man, and I'm sick and tired of having to tip-toe around their so easily bruised egos.
Partnerships should be an equal exchange of love,respect, and support for one another...not some competition, or some deadly game of having to constantly prop up your partner's ego, or it all comes crashing down.


Hate to break it to ya bebe, but it just doesn't work the way *you* want it to work because it just wasn't designed to.

God made man and woman different - not equal. And woman was designed to be a man's helpmate, support, and heart of his household. A man doesn't want to be with another "man" which is essentially what you are. If you haven't been able to figure that out, you will forever be chasing your tail in circles and will end up in a really unhappy marriage that ends in a divorce.

You live in the wrong state. Im sorry. I did time in Ocoee Tenn. We were a bunch of riverguides and went out dancing. One of our friends danced with a rastafarian and it turned into a major brawl with a rednecks versus hippies. Hippies won and then went to jail.

Oh well the rastafarian smoked us out the next day. Cool times were had by all.

My one regret was this strange lookin albino blond woman who lived on what seemed like golden pond. What a sweetie. Natalie I screwed up. Yes there are some true suthern belles in the south.

Good luck woodsprite. I see it comin your way. Dont lose hope you just need a more spiritually advanced male than you are acustomed to fining in the south. What I am seeing is someone 37 to 41. Slender and sandy blond long curly hair. Kind of rastaman looking. Not rich in the finacial sense but spirit is strong. Kind of a wiccan

Make the trees moan when you find it.

Sevenmorelives

I do manage to have fun, sometimes...but it really would be nice to have someone to dance with... :)


I like your spirit. Keep on reaching out, there are alot of guys like you say that cringe to beauty. ie the wrapper. Maybe it's because we dont like to compete and there are too many googling goofballs hanging around you, and you seem to enjoy them. It feeds the`prejudice of the "dumb blond" maybe. But an assertive women who makes that extra leap is hot hot hot.... in my books. I hope you find happiness...

Personally, this bums me out to no end.......because when I'm in love with someone, I want to 'shine' for them...so they can be proud to be my partner...be able to tell their friends 'Yeah, that's MY GIRL!"
I know that personally, I'd much rather want to be in someone's life that 'wanted' me there, not because they 'needed" me to be there.

OK. I see my suggestion about what might ail you doesn't apply. Hope you didn't mind the speculation, I was only trying to help.


It's more than just the money thing that intimidates men, about me.
It's also my strength.
I'm not talking physical strength, ( although, because of my work, I have been stronger than some of the men I've gone out with)...it's an inner strength, the kind where if I get knocked down, I don't sit and cry about it...I get back up, and keep going.
If there is some huge emotional crisis happening...I don't fall to pieces...I deal with the situation in a calm manner, until the crisis passes.
If I know I'm right, I will not give in, give up, or can't be broken.
Even if I'm hurt, you'll never see it the majority of the time.
You may see my anger at someone acting like an asshole, but I won't crumble, and cry about it.
If times are hard, and bills need to be paid, or the plumbing needs to be fixed....I don't freak out, I just go hustle up some more work to cover it..
This inner strength to 'not give up in the face of adversity...is very intimidating to a lot of people.
But it is this inner strength that has kept me plugging away at this art thing in the face of so many people that have said, 'you'll never be able to make a living with your art'...my entire life.
In my heart, I know it's what I was born to do...so I refuse to 'give up'


This quality of "rising to the occasion", of finding strength inside when things get rough, and cry about it later, is a typical Leo trait. I know it well, because my wife is a Leo, with a Leo Ascendant as well. If life has taught me anything, it's how to deal with Leos!

Now there's a distinct Leo energy in almost everything you've been saying about yourself. In fact, I'd be extremely surprised if your birth chart doesn't have a prominent planet or two in Leo.

Your passion for art speaks of your boundless creative powers, a characteristic Leo trait.

Your past in modeling doesn't only tell us you are attractive and like to make the most of your physical appearance, more importantly it tells us you enjoy being admired, and love putting up a good show. This is Leo speaking. (It's said when a Leo enters a room and no-one notices, he will quickly find a reason to exit, so he can try again.)

Your "informal" ways, and the way you cannot help but impacting others deeply also tells of strong Leo energy. There is powerful Heart energy in your words and actions, and people react strongly to this, for better or worse.

Whether you're a true Leo or not, your life expression is indeed strongly colored by Leo energy, so I'll speak to you as one would try to advice a Leo. (I say try, because Leos are excellent at giving very good advice to others, but not always as good at taking it themselves.)

OK, here goes:

You wish, nay expect, to be loved by EVERYONE! And why not? You're a pretty admirable person aren't you, overflowing with warm generosity and grandiose splendor! There's just so MUCH of your powerful, expressive, creative and loving personality! Beauty radiates from you like a fragrance, and the whole world around you becomes more beautiful just from being touched by your aura! How could anyone NOT love you? It seems impossible!

And yet many people seem to react negatively to the gift of your presence. If they had an issue with something and stood up and fought for it, you could understand it and fight back, but they just withdraw instead. They seem to deeply FEAR you, as unreasonable as this truly is.

And this HURTS you! For all your overwhelming strength and power, you are much more vulnerable than people will ever understand. Your power comes from having a wide-open Heart, and a wide-open Heart is not protected. In fact, it is always wide-open to getting hurt by anyone, strangers you meet on the street included.

The thing that hurts you most when people fear you, is that you feel they believe you have ill intentions. And such a thing does not exist within you, on any level! It is an unfair and false accusation to suspect you to harbor ill intentions! The power behind your actions is love! That's really all there is to it!

True accusations you can deal with. Sure, you'll throw a horrible tantrum and retreat to lick your wounded self image, but you can deal with it. If you've done something wrong, you want learn from it and avoid doing it in the future. You ABHOR being wrong, so you'd rather grow and learn to be right, just to avoid the humiliation.

But what can you do about people's FALSE impressions of you?
Nothing! And it irks you no end, because you not only wish and expect to be loved by everyone, you actually NEED it! You simply cannot function without being greeted with love at every turn. Being greeted with suspicion punctures your entire being!

If people only knew. If they could only see how you are operating. But they do not. They only see the immense POWER that radiates from you, and they assume it is an ungentle power, an abusive power, a dominating power.

It is not.

It is a gentle power. It is a power that only radiates energy to the environment and senses what is reflected back. The will behind this power has no direction, other than to serve those who reflect it. This power has no designs of it's own, it does not wish to dominate and enforce it's will, because in spite of it's massive strength of will, it merely wishes to serve.

And since this power only wishes to serve, it cannot function if it is greeted with fear! This power exists in the circle of communication between open Hearts, and it's positive expression dies when it is greeted by a closed Heart.

And so people who do not greet you with the love you expect actually kill you a little. You cannot function in their vicinity! That which is truly you cannot even exist there!

In this world, you tend to get this a lot. It's thus not as easy living with the abundant ray of Leo energy as it may seem to the casual observer, who only sees your outward limitless strength and determination. They do not see your inner suffering and your vulnerability.

So what advice to I have to offer you then?

Only this:

Remain soft and open. Do not harden yourself to fend off the blows. Allow yourself to be hurt, over and over, and to feel the sadness and pain it causes. Cry when you are hurt, deeply and openly.

REFLECT BACK THAT WHICH WAS REFLECTED BACK TO YOU!

Not in a vindictive eye-for-an-eye fashion, just according to the natural law of cause and effect. You radiated love, but fear was reflected back, so you must now reflect your pain back in return. This completes the circle!

The strength in you that boils up in hard circumstances can be turned the wrong way. It can make you endure the pain without reflecting it, and then you try to deal with it later in privacy, so that no feedback ever reaches the one who reflected fear to you. This breaks the circle!

And it is YOU who broke the circle! You only did it to protect yourself, true, but you did break it, and this nullified your divine purpose on this planet in that moment.

Your wide-open fragile heart is a detector for what is in error. It is sorely needed at this time. It's suffering must be made visible to all. This is the only thing that can cause true healing on this planet!

(What I just said is also the true meaning of "turn the other cheek".)

Dang. So many relationship problems between men and women nowadays. Beginning to think the womens lib movement was part of tptb plan to depopulate the world.

Personally, this bums me out to no end.......because when I'm in love with someone, I want to 'shine' for them...so they can be proud to be my partner...be able to tell their friends 'Yeah, that's MY GIRL!"
I know that personally, I'd much rather want to be in someone's life that 'wanted' me there, not because they 'needed" me to be there.


Call you "my girl"...

And you are 44 years old?

We, TRUE MAN, know what all this BS you write means:

Woodsprite... you are an artist? Now I am very intrigued. I first noticed you months ago. Yes, something about you made me sit up and take notice. Now that you say you are an artist... well, that really has me interested. Hot damn I would love to drink some coffee with you early in the morning and just shoot the breeze.
It's not fair that you live so far away. Damn universe is always so difficult.
I hope I can find a quality woman friend like you here in Edmonton someday.
-Eat

Leos and me don't mix...