Bob Woodward’s New Book Reveals Obama’s Secret Family

WASHINGTON – Bob Woodward’s highly anticipated new book The Obama Wars has become even hotter since word of the chapter on President Obama’s “secret” family became public. This morning Amazon announced an unheralded spike in sales of the $39.99 hardcover.

“When people found out about Obama’s other family, we had over 300,000 orders for the book in an hour! Our computers jammed and then our phone lines went down,” an Amazon spokesperson told The Daily Rash. “Mobs of people stormed a Barnes and Noble earlier today in Greenfield, Indiana, resulting in the death of two elderly consumers. This is even crazier than the June release of Torri Spelling’s book, uncharted teriTORI.”

Midway through The Obama Wars is a short chapter titled Schemes like my Father’s. In it, Woodward claims that President Obama has a “secret” family in Fort Wayne, Indiana. He alleges that Gayle Petunia Rutherford and Barry H. Obama were married on November 7, 1992, exactly one month after Obama married Michelle. Gayle and Barry have two children, twelve year old Lars Benedict and nine year old Shirley Temple Obama. The family lives in a nice house in a middle class neighborhood in Fort Wayne