I am a shill for The Machine.

What part are you having trouble with?

who do you answer to?

How do they keep you in line?

1. An oil company, in my case. Specifically an inorganics chemical division.

2. Fat sacks of filthy lucre, and the occasional horrible threat. Not that the latter is actually necessary, as I am a bit of a misanthrope, and really enjoy my work.

what is your deal though?

My deal? I fuck with local organizations that become problems, and I fund eco-groups and NIMBY organizations that want to keep refineries from being created.

Ask me why.

why do you do that?

Because opening a refinery is EXPENSIVE AS FUCK. When fuel prices go up, we are pressured to increase capacity. Now, there are two things we could do when that happens:

1. Build the refinery, hire loads of people, shell out for permits, contractors, training costs, rail spurs, etc, etc, OR

2. Not build the refinery, jack the price to meet the demand, and make mad bank with the same overhead.

So we announce that we're thinking of starting a refinery, we pay some hippies (who may or may not know who is funding them) to take us to court, then throw the case. What a shame. We WANTED to bring prices down, but the hippies stopped us (Protip: Who wins in a court battle? Hippies or Big Oil?. Answer: Whomever Big Oil chooses).

Boo hoo hoo. So sad.

sounds like a giant circle jerk. oh well, wag wag wag a finger. wag two and then, blame it on somebody. it's not your fault.

Do you use 10W30 or 90 weight when you fuck dick cheney's ass?

Of course it's our fault. And our profit.

Open gear lube.