Suicide Prevention ... I almost killed myself today.

As bad as things are I am sorry to say they will get worse for all of us and if you think you can't hack it now just wait
till we are all up to our necks in doody.

Just close your eyes, imaging the life you want and the place you want to be. You must have a dream, go for it now. Pick a place very far away from where you are, burn those bridges and never look back. Instead of doing something like giving up on life all-together, simply give up on your old one. Make something new for yourself somewhere better, somewhere you can be happy.

When you are at the bottom, there is only one way left. Thats up.

To say I'm in a bad place is putting it mildly. I have no job. I have money issues like crazy. I was recently diagnosed with Lupus and arthritis. I hurt all the time. I can't afford medication. I have to go and testify soon at a parole hearing against the man who raped me when I was a kid. I have no family to celebrate the holidays with. I have nowhere to go, no one to see, and nothing much to eat.

I'm "borrowing" internet from my neighbor with his permission.

I almost killed myself today.

I sat on my cot with a bottle of pills in one hand and a blade in the other. I tried to decide which would be the easiest and most painless way to do it. I don't want to be alive anymore.

I was at rock bottom when I called the Suicide Prevention Hotline. I had actually Googled ways to end my life and saw that website. I probably talked to the man who answered for two hours.

I cried. I broke. I cried some more. I listened. I questioned. I begged.

No, my life still isn't worth living at the moment. I'd rather be dead. But someone listened to me tonight at Suicide Prevention.

And I put the bottle and blade down.

[link to www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org]

You can't go out that way. It would take you to hell for real. Read a book by Mary Backster about the trip she had there. I didn't write a book about it but have been shown in a dream. It was so bad that words fail me to descripe what it's like. But hell is a real thing and you really want nothing to do with it.

Booner


Note: I was trying to astral travel before my experiance.
I did leave my body and was caught by demons. taken to hell and I thought I was going to be there forever. Jesus Christ saved me from it.

To say I'm in a bad place is putting it mildly. I have no job. I have money issues like crazy. I was recently diagnosed with Lupus and arthritis. I hurt all the time. I can't afford medication. I have to go and testify soon at a parole hearing against the man who raped me when I was a kid. I have no family to celebrate the holidays with. I have nowhere to go, no one to see, and nothing much to eat.

I'm "borrowing" internet from my neighbor with his permission.

I almost killed myself today.

I sat on my cot with a bottle of pills in one hand and a blade in the other. I tried to decide which would be the easiest and most painless way to do it. I don't want to be alive anymore.

I was at rock bottom when I called the Suicide Prevention Hotline. I had actually Googled ways to end my life and saw that website. I probably talked to the man who answered for two hours.

I cried. I broke. I cried some more. I listened. I questioned. I begged.

No, my life still isn't worth living at the moment. I'd rather be dead. But someone listened to me tonight at Suicide Prevention.

And I put the bottle and blade down.

[link to www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org]


shut the fuck up trying to push your agenda on others you fucking piece of shit. if you were really going to kill yourself you would have done it.

I'm actually a female.

And no, I don't know anyone at that link other than the man I spoke with and he identified himself as Allen.

I considered calling The Trevor Project for help as well since they are suicide prevention, but I'm not a lesbian. I think that's only for lesbians and gays.

I posted the link so that anyone else out there who feels as alone as I do right now would have someone to talk to like I did.

I'm ordained so I know the Bible inside and out and feel that my relationship with God is just fine. I've performed marriages, given last rites, and christened babies. I spend a lot of time at retirement homes and hospitals praying with people. I'm right with God.

I'm just not right with my current situation and it's taking a considerable toll on me.

considering how financially destitute you are, i would suggest you contact your local social services department and see if you can be eligible for medicaid.

if so, most if not all of your medical related costs would be taken care of.