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| 06:12 PM | ||
| Users Online Now: 2,242 (Who's On?) | Visitors Today: 1,116,127 | |
| Pageviews Today: 1,863,792 | Threads Today: 768 | Posts Today: 13,403 |
| 06:12 PM | ||
Joke o´ the Day | |
| Dred Offer Upgrade  08/13/2005 10:20 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | It´s a little dull around here this morning, so here goes... Harvey and Gladys Harvey and Gladys are getting ready for bed. Gladys is standing in front of her full-length mirror, taking a long, hard look at herself. "You know, Harvey," she comments, "I stare into this mirror and I see an ancient creature. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs sag so much that they dangle to my waist, my arms and legs are as flabby as popped balloons, and my butt looks like a sad, deflated version of the Hindenburg! She turns to face her husband and says, "Dear, please tell me just one positive thing about my body so I can feel better about myself." Harvey studies Gladys critically for a moment and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well...there´s nothing wrong with your eyesight." Services for Harvey will be held Tuesday morning at 10:30 at the First Methodist Church. ![]( [<a href="http://www.godlikeproductions.com/images/smilies/blobr.gif) link to www.godlikeproductions.com] alt=' '>my brain has a belly ache |
| Her Majesty (OP) 12/08/2005 10:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Dred (OP) 12/08/2005 10:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Her Majesty (OP) 12/08/2005 10:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Slim (OP) 12/08/2005 10:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Dred (OP) 12/08/2005 10:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Her Majesty (OP) 12/08/2005 10:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Dred (OP) 12/08/2005 10:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Dred (OP) 12/08/2005 10:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Anonymous Coward 12/08/2005 10:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said," You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall. He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons hehad promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? He couldn´t resist.. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men´s restrooms don´t havenice things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn´t wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and anurse was staring down at him. "What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button. "The button marked ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow." . |
| Dred (OP) 12/08/2005 10:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| el fundio (OP) 12/08/2005 10:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
| Her Majesty (OP) 12/08/2005 10:08 AM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | a friend sent me some authentic cuban coffee and since i´ve run out of maxwell house i thought i´d give this stuff a try. Its not coffee its rocket fuel. i look like a deer caught in the headlights and i can´t make my right leg stop shaking  no wonder i´m grumpy my brain has a belly ache |
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